2 year old has had severe separation anxiety for over 6 months?

My older DS has had such a hard time since I have gone back to work after my maternity leave.

At first he would scream when we left him with the Nanny (see my old post here... http://www.lifamilies.com/chat/topic.aspx?ID=648706&Highlight=

Recently my Nanny resigned to go back to school so my SIL has been watching my DC. My DS has always LOVED my SIL, being at her house, playing with his older cousins. He has been going there 2-3 days a week for a few weeks now and he has begun screaming and crying again at drop offs. He carries on for close to an hour AND off and on throughout the day.

I know it's the age (2 years), but this has been going on for 6 months!

He has another issue that we think was triggered by stress (it is a tic like condition called complex motor stereotypy) soooo I don't know what to do. I was going to resign but my job gave me a counteroffer for 3 days a week and I accepted. It was really too good of an offer to turn down. And I like to work... I just don't like dealing with this We were considering doing daycare for 2 or 3 days / week, but am unsure if he would even be able to adjust to that if he is so unhappy at my SIL's.

Message edited 1/1/2013 8:12:28 PM.

Re: 2 year old has had severe separation anxiety for over 6 months?

I am not sure - When I worked at Day Care I remember some babies went months upset from the first day and some out of no where.. like they started fine and was there for like 4 months and then all of a sudden they had separation anxiety for 6 months and then eventually it stopped. Most of them were better after an hour dropped off. Others were only okay around certain staff and one boy was afraid of any men, only females he could be in the same room with. Which was funny because he loved his dad and his dad was HUGE almost 7' tall with a beard and this little baby was not afraid of dad, but any other male, even tiny men, if it was not dad he was terrified and would scream without being able to comfort him except leaving the room!

I bet and hope its just his age. Must be hard on you and SIL to see him so sad.

Re: 2 year old has had severe separation anxiety for over 6 months?

I used to bring DD to the gym at that age, 5 days a week. It was the only alone time I got. I had to leave her kicking and screaming in the day care. The babysitter would have to hold her back while I left. This went on for almost a year and then it suddenly stopped. I just kept reassuring her that I was coming back and when I picked her up I would say "See, mommy came back" I think it was just a maturity thing and came along with her growing up.

GL. It WILL pass.

Re: 2 year old has had severe separation anxiety for over 6 months?

OMG AJ did the SAME thing.. It was more than just 6m too. We put her in this daycare at 2yrs old. She's been in daycare since 4m old. At first it was just simple didn't know them type thing then she got to know them and it was all good.

Out of the blue she got into out of your mind, blood curdling cries, screaming and bending backwards into insane angles, I want my mama/daddy fits when dropping her off.

It was seriously crazy.

I have absolutely NO option to not work. Not even feasible. So we just kept up. Just dropped her off and walked away. It was odd because most days she'd let us walk with her (no holding) but a lot of days she'd cry just pulling up into the parking lot. I can not tell you how bad it was for us stress wise. We got to the point where we hated dropping her off so much we'd come up with issues so the other would be left to it by themselves.

The director said she calmed down soon enough and had a blast. Most of the time picking her up meant she'd literally RUN at us like being released from prison if she wasn't already crying when we got there because we were 5mins late or something (like she knows time???)

We started thinking her last daycare, this didnt happen at. Maybe we should switch her back. But in the end we stuck with it. Mostly due to the contractual requirements and cause its so close and good for her.

FINALLY she got over it. Found a teacher she loved and now the struggle was only once a week at most. Then that teacher got let go. Back to the daily battle until we found rolly pollies distracted her (she shows them off to classmates).

We'd still get resistance once a week maybe but its just a thing. Now it was murder picking her up. She never wants to go home. She's out of school for the summer and says to us everytime we pass it (its a block from our house) "School today, mama?" haha no darling maybe tomorrow "Ok, tomorrow".

Go figure!

But it was strange. She did the separation anxiety once.. we got over it.. then a little past two its like it all came back. Odd..

Message edited 6/22/2011 6:40:58 PM.

Re: 2 year old has had severe separation anxiety for over 6 months?

Thank you so so much everyone for your responses - especially Veronica!

It is amazing that your DD and my DS sound like they are (were) doing the SAME exact thing!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

I cannot WAIT for him to grow out of this stage!!!!!!!!!!!!