2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Im wondering how many are going through the second round of infertility.

Not neccesarily Secondary IF ..

But IF treatments after being blessed with a child.

I dont know where to talk about this all.

I would thank god and be happy if I was only blessed with my child...but I wont lie and say I dont want more, and am sad to think of how it might not happen. ( again, words cannot express how grateful I am for just one and I rely on that)

But Is it just as hard the second time around?

I was lucky to get PG on my First IVF but it was two yrs of treatments before that b/c we couldnt afford IVF and lots and lots of IUIS and lots and lots of medications, and now we are likely not able to afford IVF again( we have no insurance coverage for any of it) ...

I just feel torn and confused all the time.

Do I Start saving money? Do I go through this all again? Do I start NOW cause Im not getting any younger...

We are almost positive we wont be able to conceive naturally and have basically not had protected sex and have BD during O time for 3+ yrs now.

I guess I am just getting it out there and seeing what others feel the second time around.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

first

second you know well how I feel, although we didnt have to go through with treatments with Ryan it took a year and we were starting with an RE.

You have frosties right? I would save up for FET (does grant cover that), use your frosties and then cross all the other bridges if you need to.

But Noah is still young and you have some time, so dont feel pressured if you are not ready to get back on the ride.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

We are in the same position Donna! I have insurance that covers most of the IVF (NYC GHI), but I only have one more cycle left! We have no frosties!

Sometimes I think I am greedy for wanting another since I have the twins, but I would love to know how it is to have just one and not be so over extended. The other side of me says I would feel sorry for db since it would be the twins and then db. Is 3 a bad number? I just don't know!

I think you have to go with your heart! Good Luck!

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Posted by BigB

We are in the same position Donna! I have insurance that covers most of the IVF (NYC GHI), but I only have one more cycle left! We have no frosties!

Sometimes I think I am greedy for wanting another since I have the twins, but I would love to know how it is to have just one and not be so over extended. The other side of me says I would feel sorry for db since it would be the twins and then db. Is 3 a bad number? I just don't know!

I think you have to go with your heart! Good Luck!

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

We just went though our 2nd bout of infertility- with my DS we were able to conceive w/ IUI (after about 2 years trying on our own, followed by almost a year of Clomid)...This go around when trying for #2 we had several failed IUI's , a chemical IVF and finally our BFP after our 2nd IVF....I kind of wished I had started shortly after my DS was born, only because there is going to be a 3+ year gap and I would have liked them to have been closer in age (in a perfect world) but at the same time, I feel like I was able to give him my all, free from dragging him to Dr's appoinments and just finally being a regular family...We went back to the RE when he was 18 months...

As far as how hard it was- For me the hardest part was being TOO educated this time and knowing just how many things could go wrong etc...I was a bit naive when we were trying for my DS - but always knew in my heart of hearts- it would happen- not IF but WHEN...Its never too early to start thinking about it, I think you'll know when the time is right...

As for the $$ part of IVF- as Im sure you know, more grant $ has been released and maybe looking into that (if its a possibility) would take some of the stress of that away...Good Luck to you

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

I have a 21 month of DD and we tried for year for her. We got pg on vacay the cycle before we were going to do IVF. We started trying for #2 when she was 8 months. Everyone told me how it was easier to get pg with #2 Not for me. 13 months, 3 IUIs, 1 cancelled IVF and here we still are. Luckily DH got new insurance coverage in April that covers 2 IVF cycles. Hopefully it works for us. I am thankful every second of every day for my daughter but I also want her to have a sibling. She loves other children and will be the most amazing big sis.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

I def plan on trying again after this one. We have three frosties so I guess that will be first and then another fresh IVF is necessary.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

I haven't even had the first, but #2 is already on my mind. We plan on having a few kids so this will be something we'll have to deal with. I don't plan on preventing after this one is born, but I realize that our chances will still be slim for a natural pregnancy. We have a bunch of frosties so hopefully they will work out, otherwise it will be back to IVF. I plan on starting to save now for the future IF treatments as we have had to pay out of pocket all along. I hope you are able to figure something out and you definately should NOT feel guilty for wanting another child.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

I would love a 2nd. I don't have any frosties and I will be 42 in August so it looks like we are done.

It makes me very, very sad....

I think you should do what you said, try the frosties and then make a decision about how to proceed.

Hey maybe you'll win the lottery between now and then....

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Donna I know how you feel.

I feel incredibly blessed to have DD but my heart aches for more kids. Honestly for me seeing AF show up every month is still very hard. I thought it would get easier after having DD but it hasn't. Don't get me wrong I'm incredibly blessed to have her but my desire to have a larger family hasn't changed.

I actually posted something on Parenting the other day because I was debating on whether or not to do another IVF now or wait it out. Right now my company pays for it but they just layed off hundreds of people due to the market and I'm afraid that they are going to pull the IVF benefit soon.

For DH & I we have decided to go another round late summer/early fall unless we get blessed with a miracle before then.

I have no frosties but if I were you I would do a FET and take it from there

ITA: It's weird because I feel that I should just be grateful I have DD (and I truly am) and not push my luck but at the same time I think to myself...it's not fair to give up my dreams of having more kids for a disease KWIM...it's almost like I feel like I'm being greedy for wanting more kids....

Message edited 6/7/2008 10:54:40 PM.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

When I first started at my RE's office I was so surprised to see several women there with babies in infant carriers. I thought... you're trying for another already?!!! Then, after being there for months and months and months, I realized why I saw those women there. It probably took them so long the first time, that they didn't want to wait too long. After having DS via IVF just two months ago, I understand this even more. I feel so blessed, and who knows what the future will bring, but I am also glad I have three "on ice." You are fortunate to be able to start off with a FET this time, so I say go for it when the time feels right. Good luck!

oh... and don't you hate it when people tell you that your body will be "reset" after one pregnancy and it will be easy to get pg the second time????

Message edited 2/2/2011 11:58:19 AM.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

I'm going through our 2nd round right now.

We were so lucky and we have a son from our first IVF cycle too! He just turned 2.

When we did our first IVF cycle, I said, that was it. One try, all or nothing. It cost us about $15,000 and we paid totally out of pocket. After DS was born, I was fine for a while with him being an only child but then, things changed. More and more people started asking us when we were having another and I would lie and say we didn't want anymore. Each time, my heart would ache a little b/c it was a total lie. But, financially, we couldn't do another cycle. We could have tried to save money but neither of us were getting any younger. Also, I just couldn't spend another $15,000 on a cycle that may or may not work now that I already had a son. That $15,000 could be used for his college.

But then we moved to NY and about a year later, I found out about the IVF grant. I felt it was a sign so we went through with it. Again, I said only one time. It was so different this time around b/c we had such good luck with our first cycle. I was spoiled. I did get pg this time too but m/c. However, during that cycle, I got a new job that covers 2 IVF cycles so, here we go again. I just started my stims on Saturday.

It's so different this time around. For so many reasons. Please feel free to FM me anytime if you want to talk. It really was a difficult decision for us to try for #2 but for us, it's been the right decision.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Posted by jacquig
ITA: It's weird because I feel that I should just be grateful I have DD (and I truly am) and not push my luck but at the same time I think to myself...it's not fair to give up my dreams of having more kids for a disease KWIM...it's almost like I feel like I'm being greedy for wanting more kids....

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Just wanted to send you some It's a tough one Donna, I would say use the frosties and see what happens, if you feel ready then start trying now

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

I'm kind of in a different boat. I had my 1 tube tied after DD was born, because I didn't want to do all this IF stuff again, nor did I want to have to worry about birth control knowing that I didn't want to go through the IF process again.

However...now I'm kind of kicking myself, because I would really love to have another, even if I had to do all the injections and stuff again. DH asked me a few weeks ago, if I wanted to do IVF to have another baby and I said maybe...but I don't know if that's the right thing to do either We do not have IVF coverage, so we would have to pay for it out of pocket if we decide to do it.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Thanks everyone for your very honest and opne answers.

IT was a difficult thing for me to post and ask b/c I felt guilty as mentioned when all these women are struggling and fighting to just have one and I didnt want to make anyone think I was selfish etc.

But its a hard decision and just a "different" one and the answers and posts made me feel less alone and know Im not crazy for having issues with all the decisions needing to be made.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

I was wondering when you were going to try for #2. I agree with the others try transferring those frozen embies. You mentioned that they were poor quality. Just so you know, a lot of women get pregnant with those types of embies.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Just sending you hugs!

I have been thinking about this too. I do not want another baby right now, but know when Parker is about 4 I'd like another. SO when should I start trying?? How long will it take to get pregnant this time? 1 year, 2, or more? It's so hard. My life isin't ready for another baby now, but when...All the questions are so hard.

In your case, I know I would DEF. transfer those frosties when you think you are ready, then just take it from there.

GOOD LUCK!

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

Posted by dm24angel

Thanks everyone for your very honest and opne answers.

IT was a difficult thing for me to post and ask b/c I felt guilty as mentioned when all these women are struggling and fighting to just have one and I didnt want to make anyone think I was selfish etc.

But its a hard decision and just a "different" one and the answers and posts made me feel less alone and know Im not crazy for having issues with all the decisions needing to be made.

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

I agree with everyone else...try the frosties, you wont have to put yourself through all that stress of doing a fresh cycle.....best of luck to you and your decision

Re: 2nd time around ..trying again( Children mentioned)

DS turned 3 months today and we have already been discussing when we will do IVF again. Because of my condition (high FSH and a family history of early menopause) our doctor recommended coming back for treatment when DS is 6 months old. We've decided to wait until after the holidays when he is at least 9 months old.

I hate that I have to think about this now rather than focusing 100% on DS but this is our reality if we want to give him a sibling.

I'm nervous about doing IVF again b/c now I have a baby to take care of and as a lot of us know, the process is emotionally and physically taxing. On the other hand I feel much less pressure since we have been blessed with DS - if he's the only one we end up its fine with me