3 year old - sleep help needed... desperately

So, I screwed up.

My ds, who used to be an amazing sleeper in his crib - I could put him down and walk out and he would go right to sleep - is not so good at going to sleep in his "big boy" bed.

DS loved his crib. But, my in laws bought him a twin sized car bed for his 3rd birthday. Let me tell you, that car bed sat in his room for weeks. He would NOT get in it, even just to sit on it during the day. We let him pick out three sets of sheets. We tried using the crib mattress (it can take both sizes) in case he was afraid because it was so big. I was so surprised. He LOVES cars! We thought he would be so eager to jump in it and try it out. But nope... We kept the crib up and he would sleep in that, telling me that the big boy bed was broken lol. Finally, we took down the crib and just went cold turkey after we went away for a few days (he slept in the regular bed at the hotel). He was fine with me sitting in the glider until he fell asleep.

Then he got sick. And he wanted me to lay with him. So... I did. Big mistake. Big. Huge.

And now, I can't get him to go to sleep any other way. Don't get me wrong. Once he's asleep, he sleeps just fine! The problem is, **I** wind up falling asleep too. Then I wake up around 1:30 a.m., and I'm wide awake and can't go back to sleep before I have to get up for work in the morning. I am simply exhausted. This has become every night. Something has to change, but I am not sure how to change it. I don't want him to be afraid of the bed again. I'm tempted to just put the crib back up, lol, but I have nightmares of him being 16 years old with his legs hanging over the side of the crib and his girlfriend going, "yeah, this isn't going to work out..." This is all new territory for me, since my daughter couldn't wait to get out of her crib and flung herself out of it around 2 years old. She loved her big bed from day one.

So what can I do? Any btdt people? Books to read? Videos to watch? Websites to check? Deserted islands I can run away to?

Re: 3 year old - sleep help needed... desperately

My kids are both still in cribs so this is not from a btdt, but dd has nights where she carries on that she doesnt want me to leave the room so i tell her i have to go potty (shes 2.5) and i will be back...and i just dont come back. Maybe lay with him for a few minutes and see if it will work? or tell him you are setting a timer and when it goes off you have to leave the room.
if he gives you a hard time leaving his room, bring in a book or something to read while he is laying down so that you avoid falling asleep

Re: 3 year old - sleep help needed... desperately

Honestly, I would put the crib back up. You have nothing to lose. DD is over 4 and still in her crib. We HAVE the full size mattress, she knows she can have a big girl bed but the kids just LOVES her crib, LOL. If he was comfy in there give it a try. Maybe you'll get some sleep again.

Re: 3 year old - sleep help needed... desperately

DH did the same thing to himself!
DS knows I will read his book, kiss him good night and leave and he's fine with it.
DH has to sit with him until he falls asleep.

There are a few things that worked for us (until DH went back to bad habits again)

-saying you're going to the bathroom and not coming back. (only works when DS is REALLY tired)

- giving him a time limit on how long you sit and making it shorter each time

- sitting closer and closer to the door until you don't need to stay anymore

- having the other parent (the non-sitting one) put DS to sleep

3 year old - sleep help needed... desperately

Besides the fact that the in laws got him a bed, is there any other reason he has to sleep in a bed?
Why not just put the crib back up until he is truly ready for the bed. Don't rush him if hes not ready because it will only become more frustrating for you and make him more frightened and reluctant to go in it. if theres no rush, then don't rush him.
My dd was in her bed until after 3. Then she started telling me she wanted a big girl bed. Then and only then did I go for it. She has a lifetime to spend in a bed if shes happy, shes sleeping well, shes safe and IM sleeping (LOL) its all good. Ya know the saying, if it aint broke don't fix it LOL
I hope you get some sleep!

3 year old - sleep help needed... desperately

What about a reward chart? Dd is 3.5 and recently started coming into our bed at 3am. It was not good since we already have our 10 month old in there which is bad enough. I tried a sticker chart and told her if she stays in her bed until morning she'll get a Hershey kids as soon as she wakes up and a sticker. If she gets 7 stickers in a row she gets a toy she picked out. She did 5 nights straight and then messed up and had to start over. She's now 4 nights in to her next attempt. Seems to be helping.