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3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
Our little fishy passed on to that great big sea in....heaven.
DH wanted to tell our son and have a memorial service of sorts, but I feel it is way too young at 3 to do such a thing. Our son is very sensitive. I really don't want to see his face if we say the fish passed away.
What should I say when he asks where the fish went? I was thinking of saying that the fish loved us very much, but wanted to swim in a bigger ocean and he made some friends. Then I was going to write a little note from the fish to my son - something cute and very light - saying goodbye. But I don't know if all of that is too silly...I just don't know.
What do people normally do?
I skipped this chapter in the parenting handbook.  I tend to skip any chapters when it comes to breaking bad news to little ones. 
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Posted 4/13/11 11:10 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: 3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
I love the idea of the note . But I know there are different schools of thought on this one, but I would do that...plus didn't you just have a baby..too many things all at once for him, so thats why I lean towards ur idea 
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| Posted 4/13/11 11:16 AM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: 3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
Sorry about your fish... 
I don't know on this one... for a fish I might just replace one with another at a fish store that's similiar.
JMO
When we had to put our dog to sleep  I was sort of happy in a way that DS was too young to notice. He was only 19 months. My dog wasn't doing so well the last few months and Mason didn't even notice b/c the dog couldn't move much. We didn't say anything and Mason didn't even notice.
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| Posted 4/13/11 11:19 AM |
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jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: 3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
Teachable moment. I would just be honest and explain to him what happened. I dont think you need to do anythign special, he is only 3
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| Posted 4/13/11 11:25 AM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: 3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
We had a fish die last month. Since DD already lost a cousin, a second cousin, and her grandmother before the fish - we told her the truth.
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| Posted 4/13/11 11:30 AM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: 3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
We had a few fish die in DS's tank over the past year...he didn't even notice honestly and we just keep replacing them lol
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| Posted 4/13/11 11:34 AM |
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Re: 3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
First Story: My sister died before DS was born. He saw her pic and asked who it was. We told him it was aunt jan and she lives far far away in a town called heaven. Its so far that we can't even to see her by airplane.
Second story: When I was about 4 my first fish died. We did the burial at sea (bathroom). I was upset. A month later when #2 went, I yelled to my dad to "get the net". So I guess I got over it okya.
HTH
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| Posted 4/13/11 11:37 AM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: 3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
We had a fish die, and we told the truth. "Jack was very old. His body stopped working and he died. He's not here with us anymore, he's in heaven now, but we'll always remember him". We didn't do anything like a memorial, burial etc-- we kept the discussion brief and low-key. DS seemed ok with it. Actually now at 5 years old, I find it harder to discuss death with him than it was at 3.... I feel he has a better grasp of the permanance of it and so it upsets him more.
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| Posted 4/13/11 11:41 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: 3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
Posted by jgl
Teachable moment. I would just be honest and explain to him what happened. I dont think you need to do anythign special, he is only 3
This.
Its a great oppurtunity to explain death. He's 3. It may not be forever that he gets it, but its a good time to start.
AJ has had no pet die but plants she's cared for. Sorry kiddo the plant is dead. We've had to explain the death of insects she's stepped on or dead animals she come across. Death is part of life. We always knew we'd be honest with her.
ETA: i didn't SAY sorry kiddo the plant is dead. We talked about death and how its part of all of us. Everyone and everything has to die so other things and people can continue to grow. We didn't get into heaven or hell or recycling just that everything must die in its own time.
Message edited 4/13/2011 11:48:38 AM.
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| Posted 4/13/11 11:47 AM |
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Re: 3 yr old and first pet died. How do you explain it? Or do you not explain it at all?
DS is 5 and his first fish got eatin by the other one. He knew something was up and we told him we had to take him to the pet store so the Dr. Could help him and we bought another fish. Now the second one died yesterday. We took it out of the tank and if he notices we will tell him the something.
I feel bad lying to him but he is very sensitive and hasn't experienced death yet.
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| Posted 4/13/11 11:49 AM |
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