40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

1. "I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.

"
2.

"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

"
3.

"How about never? Is never good for you?"
4.

"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

"
5.

"I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it
my way.

"
6. "I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

"
7. "I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

"
8. "I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

"
9.

"It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word y ou're
saying.

"
10. "Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again"
11. "I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

"
12. "You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

"
13. "I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

"
14. "I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

"
15 "I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

"
16. "Thank you.

We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point
of view.

"
17.

"The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an
artist.

"
18.

"Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.

"
19.

"What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?"
20. "I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

"
21. "It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

"
22.

"Yes, I am an agent of *****, but my duties are largely
ceremonial.

"
23. "And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?"
24.

"Do I look like a people person?"
25 "This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

"
26. "I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

"
27 "Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

"
28.

"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"
29. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

"
30. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

"
31 "I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

"
32. "A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

"
33.

"Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?"
34. "Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

"
35. "Nice perfume.

Must you marinate in it?"
36. "Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

"
37.

"How do I set a laser printer to stun?"
38. "I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary.

"
39.

"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?"
40. "Oh I get it.. like humor... but different!"

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

Some of these I wish I had the b@lls to say.

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

"who lit the fuse on your tampon?"


OMG

those are great!!

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

those are great!

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

I have thought this one many many times

"I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth."

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

OMG those are hysterical ok, i take my post GRRRRRRR back i'm too busy laughing to be upset. thanks for sharing!

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

ok...I'm in my office...people probably think I'm insane.

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

OMG....so many of these are tempting.


I love this one...


19. "What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?"

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

Love these!!

Re: 40 things you would like to say outloud at work (Joke)

We have a lot of clients that are from Jamaica and oh so many times I've wanted to say to thiem

"It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're
saying."