Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

At night after I feed and change DS, I swaddle him and rock him for a few minutes and then put him in his bassinet to sleep. Sometimes he goes right down, but some nights he'll scream and cry for 20 minutes or so. I know there's nothing wrong with him and he's just crying to be held or to cry. He's 2 1/2 weeks old. I've been letting him cry and fall asleep on his own when he does this because I'm afriad to start the habit of picking him up whenever he cries if there;s nothing wrong. I want him to sleep in his bassinet and not on us.

My MIL disagrees and seemed upset today when I told her thats what we've been doing. Do you think I'm wrong?? I know some people believe you cant spoil a newborn, but I tend to believe you can form bad habits -- and my DH is deploying. I'm the ONLY one who will be caring for DS and I cant be up holding him all night long. Is it okay that I'm letting him cry??

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Yes, you are wrong Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bonds

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrong Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bonds

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrong Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bonds

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

i have to agree with the other ladies. you cannot possibly hold a newborn too much.

look at it this way - for the last 9 months he was in your body - hearing you talk/moving with you/being inside of you 24/7. ANYTHING less than that is already not enough....ya know?

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrong Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bonds

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

sorry but i agree.. with the other posters

He's too young to understand or learn habits.. he just is all instinct

He's used to being a womb and needs that cuddle, hold attention.

I think its too young to spoil and my pediatrican agreed when i asked her the same.

Sorry

Message edited 8/18/2009 5:53:55 PM.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I also agree with the others. 2 1/2 weeks is way to young to let him cry until he falls asleep.

Message edited 8/18/2009 6:01:56 PM.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I agree with everyone else.

Some newborns need to cry to settle themselves down (my DD was like that), but I never let her cry for more than a couple of minutes. (2-3 minutes, which was all she really needed anyway). 20 minutes for a 2 1/2 week old is way too long. They need to be held and comforted.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I agree with everyone. He is 2 1/2 weeks, he is no where near the age to CIO. He has no idea how to console himself and he should not be left in the bassinet crying to try and figure out a way to put himself to sleep. If your worried about forming a bad habit, you can stop worrying. Continue with your routine, but if he cries when you put him down, please don't leave him, pick him up, comfort him and then put him back down. He will eventually get used to your routine and not cry when you do put him down.

Message edited 8/18/2009 6:56:41 PM.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

2.5 weeks is way too young to be letting him cry it out. He wants to be cuddled and held, there is nothing wrong with that. You can't hold a tiny newborn too much. Don't worry about forming bad habits at this young age. Just enjoy the time cuddling your tiny one.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Take advantage of cuddling your child now.. ds is 10 months old and wants nothing to do with cuddling for 90% of the day and to be honest i miss it... it does go very fast so cherish every minute that you can holding your newborn...

i think we started letting him cry when he was 3 1/2 months... but never for more then 10 minutes at the beginning

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by XcalystaX

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrong Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bonds

Completely agree. You should not let an newborn cry it out, at that stage of development it could be harmful to your baby. Most doctors will tell you that you shouldn't start letting them cry it out until they are over 4 months old.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

sorry it is not okay to let a newborn cry.....,he needs you, he needs to know you are there for him

pick him up

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

i was told not to do that until 6 months old. it makes them insecure if you do it before then. hang in there, i know how fustrating it is when the baby is crying and you just want a break but in the long run, you gotta do whats best for your baby

Message edited 8/18/2009 7:54:52 PM.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

ITA with the other posters. This is the time to hold the baby and help him make an easy transition from being in the womb to being out in the world. For 9 months, your baby was rocked to sleep in your womb and suddenly he is being left to fend for himself. He is too young to know how to do that or learn from what you are doing. This is actually the time that your baby is going to look to you for comfort and learn to trust in you as a secure place to feel safe & loved.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Self soothing skills have to be learned. a baby that young is not able to self soothe themselves and your actually probably creating more harm then good. At this stage you need to develop trust

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I would never in a million years let a baby 2.5 weeks old scream and cry like that....sorry!

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I would never let a 2.5 week old CIO. My DS had reflux and I used to sleep half the night with him laying on my chest, because he wouldn't let me put him down. He is now 5 months and I put him down awake and he puts himself to sleep. You can not make bad habits at that age, it is impossible.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I agree with the other posters and your MIL. I have a 3 week old and I lift him when he cries as this is his only way of communicating with me for now.

If he grunts I usually leave him but once he cries that is it he is up. I also let him fall asleep on me during the day, cuddle him as often as I can -which is hard with a 3 year old in the house and generally shower him with as much love and attention as possible. These first few weeks are so precious and you CANNOT spoil a newborn. They need to feel that you are there for them and if he cries he is telling you that he needs you.

I hope I am not sounding preachy but I feel very strongly about this. A great dvd to get if you can is "the happiest baby on the block" and the message on this dvd is that the first three months of life should be considered as the fourth trimester.

Please pick your newborn up when he cries - you are not going to create bad habits

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

omg this breaks my heart

ds is the same age and i get upset if he's crying for 1 minute---forget 20!

pick him up, love him, lay him on your chest and let him hear your heartbeat

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

ITA with the others....2.5 weeks is too young.....This may sound cliche but, cherish some of these moments, it really goes so quickly

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

i have to agree with the other ladies... def. pick him up and spoil him while you can!... leave the CIO for later!!

oh and just a suggestion i was totally clueless with just about everything and i read, Happiest baby on the block . and i have to say its been amazing and really gives you some great insite! check it out!