I Guess It's My Turn:: UPDATE 10/15 - 2nd BETA

I found this board a few months ago, after my first IVF failed and have been following and praying for you women as you've gone through your journey. And now, I guess it's time for me to start with Dr. B- ON MONDAY!!!!

Backround:
9/08: Ectopic, L tube removed
Failed IVF in June 09
Endo, auto-immune, DQ Alpha match, etc, etc, etc. DH morph

9/14: Went to Dr. B thinking I would start my injections... wrong!! It looks like my lining is too thick and he doesn't know why. I had perfect lining during my last IVF. He's doing some b/w to see if he can determine why it's so thick and until we get that answer, I'm in a holding pattern continuing to take bcps. I may have to wait another month. While I know it's best to start the cycle correctly, I'm really bummed about having to wait longer. I thought I was so close, but I'm sure this extra time will allow us to get things sorted out. Just waiting on test results... come on good news!!!!

9/16: Got the b/w back and everything is perfect!! I actually start my injections tonight!!!! I can't believe this sorted itself out so quickly... I'm so excited!! DH doesn't know, yet but he will be thrilled. Our journey is offically back on!!

9/19: At this point in my last (failed) IVF cycle (at a different clinic), my E2 was 948 and the dr in the office that day told me, "I don't know why your E2 is so high. You're not my patient. I don't know your chart." And that's when I knew our cycle didn't stand a chance...

However, we had our first sono/bw appointment today and it looks like Dr. B has my E2 under control. There was nothing to see on the sono, which means my E2 will be low. Our main goal with this cycle was to slow me waaaaay down and it looks like we're right on track. Continuing Ganirelix, Dexamethazone, and Follistim - and going back Monday for another sono.

Other, fun side notes: those little Ganirelix needles make big bruises!! I didn't bruise at all last time (with Lupron) but wow- I'm black and blue all over :) And, I somehow missed that I would bleed after stopping my birth control... just a mild panic attack until Sandra walked me away from the cliff. Whenever I bleed, I immediately think of our ectopic last fall. But other than that, we're doing great!!

9/21 Another great check-up!! Things are moving slowly, which is exactly what we wanted. I'm anxious to just get going, but am more than happy to be patient so that we can follow a protocol that's good for my body. I think I'll be stimming for at least another week and I'm feeling fine so far- bring it on!!

9/23 Spent another morning with my men (aka Dr. B and my accupuncturist)... moving right along! I guess everything is still looking great. I'm starting to feel my ovaries, tough... I had almost forgotten what it was like to feel so "full". I am officially wearing sweat/yoga pants from here on out :) Set up my intralipid appointment for Friday... kinda weirded out that they come to my house. Lowering Follistim and adding Menapu tonight. The nurse told me to expect it to burn. Wish I could have a nice glass of wine while DH injects... I am getting really, really excited... I can't believe my embryos might be with me in a week-and-a-half!

9/25 First off, it is such a gorgeous day today!! My windows are open, I have a fabulous play-list going from i-Tunes, and my house is filled with the yummy smells of a home-made dinner. And the only news that could make this better?? Another great visit/following up call with Dr. B!! My follies are looking perfect and my E2s are on track (which was not the case last time). He said, "things couldn't be going any more perfect for you than they are". We are continuing Menapur and Follistim tonight and going back for another check tomorrow.

I had my intralipid infusion today, too. I did not have the popular nurse Ian, but had Cathy instead. She was very nice and efficient, and it wasn't as creepy as I thought I would be.

I am just so thankful that this cycle is light years beyond our last cycle. Even if this doesn't work (which I know is a strong possibility), I'm just happy knowing that we've made progress. I hadn't looked at any baby things since the beginning of the year, but I found myself wandering through the baby section at Marshall's on Wednesday and scoping our nursery furniture online this morning. Bad Amy!! I need to cut myself off again... I need to be a little cautious and protect myself. So, I've decided to be still and know that my God is God... all the while sending encouraging and loving vibes to my uterus.

9/26 TRIGGER TONIGHT!!! DH is giving it to me at 1:30am and our retrieval is scheduled for Monday at 12pm. Very excited!!! Now if only Kraupner's would show up...

9/28: So, we made it into the city with lots of time to spare and finally made it into the retrieval room. I woke up to DH sweetly telling me, "your follicles were empty". Needless to say... I started bawling hysterically. I think the nurse was a bit shocked at my reaction. I guess they tried to retrieve all the eggs from one ovary (about 15) and none had eggs. They called it, "Empty Follicle Syndrome". We have confirmed that I triggered correctly, so Dr. B said we're left with these options:

a) bad Lupron lot
b) my body just not responding to the Lupron, or
c) I have a rare cycle of empty follicles... totally random and most likely would never happen to me again,

We are going to re-trigger with HCG tonight and go back for the rest of the follicles (maybe 10 of them?) on Wednesday. The only thing that could change this is if my post-retrieval blood work shows an issue with my LH. Dr. B says that while my chances are now lower for this cycle, it can be completely salvaged. The dr doing the retrieval said not worry... he would bet his practice and $$ on us having biological kids someday.

I'm just shocked- I am 27 and my ovaries are egg producing machines. I never EVER imagined the follicles being empty. I'm assuming it's just some unexplained thing that randomly happened. How am I feeling about this cycle?? I'll be honest: not too hot. Empty follicles cannot be a good sign. I think we'll be on cycle #3 by the beginning of November. BUT, we're still going back and we're still holding out hope. Stranger things have happened, right???

9/29: THANK YOU for all of your support... I cannot imagine going through yesterday without this board!!

After hours of phone calls and emails (Dr. B is nothing short of amazing), we figured it out. The blood work showed that my LH never surged... the Lupron never reached the pituitary gland and therefore the eggs never released into the follicle. So, we re-triggered with HCG last night (in the arm- ouch!!) He said that he's seen this before and that he has every hope that things will work out tomorrow. DH and I have lowered expectations (how could we not...) but are thankful that we at least get another chance tomorrow. And, we are so thankful the dr doing the ER stopped after one ovary!!! So, we'll see... here's to tomorrow not being a crappy as yesterday :)

9/30: The second time went 1700% better than the one on Monday- we got 17 eggs!! And all 17 were mature :) It sounds like we might have a chance after all! Dr. B said that they often work late into the night, so hopefully we'll get a fert report tomorrow.

Between the procedure and the emotional roller coaster, I am a bit exhausted. Starting the PIO injections tonight and I'm just happy that we get to start them. I honestly think it's more painful for DH than me :)

Thanks again for being so supportive through this- we just might make it through!

10/1Before I give the fert report, I need to explain me and DH’s specific fertilization requests. Let me start by saying that I know that this is not right for everyone; I honestly think that everyone has to do what is right for them in this process- only you know what is right for you!! For us, we feel it’s right to only fertilize as many eggs as we are willing to transfer back- no freezing or discarding. We know that this is a widely unpopular choice (you should have seen the looks/rolled eyes we’ve gotten from doctors….) because it lowers our chances and increases our costs, but we simply aren’t comfortable doing it any other way. I don’t want to start a war about this, so if you have any questions about our thoughts, please feel free to FM me And again, in no way do I think this is right thing for everyone.

So, after much consultation with Dr. B and AFS, we decided that fertilizing 5 embryos would be right for us. The chances of having 5 by day 5 is so incredibly low and I have a low implantation rate history…

Now on to the part people actually care about… of the 5 eggs ICSIed, all 5 fertilized!!!! If there are 3 or less left on Saturday (day 3), we do a day 3 transfer. If there are 4 or more left, we go back for a Monday (day 5) transfer. Only time will tell… but I’m so happy we’re still in the game!!!

10/3: We transferred today!!! We had 3 embryos: 2 are 8-cell grade 1 and one is a morula (stage before blast). Everyone was saying how great our embryos looked, but this is nearly identical to our last cycle and we didn't get so much as a chemical pregnancy that time. So, part of me is thrilled that everything went so well (Dr. B said everything went perfectly this cycle) and part of me is nervous that everything is going to end the same way. But all things considered, I can't imagine a better boat to be in!!

I'm now in bed for 2 days- luckily it's the weekend so DH can take care of me! Official BETA is next Tuesday (the 13th)... I'm sure the crazy will soon set in. I'm a big POAS girl, so I think I'll start that on Wednesday and see where it takes me. I have vowed to only do 1 each day :)

Come on embies- implant!!!!

10/9 So I'm over half-way through with the wait, and everyday I get less and less sure of an eventual BFP. I'm feeling better and better everyday (no more nausea, constipation, or exhaustion) and I feel like AF is coming soon. I know that they say that everyone's early pregnancy is different, but I'm starting to get skeptical.

I POAS Wednesday to see if the trigger is gone- it is. I POAS again yesterday, because - let's be honest- I have a zillion of those tests and they just stare at me. I've held out so far today... tomorrow will be 7dp3dt. Maybe then?

Sorry this is so depressing... I'm just getting scared!

10/11: So, I've been POAS all weekend (it's my new hobby) and they've all been negative. But as I was on the phone with my mom this afternoon, I pulled today's test out of the garbage and there is a faint, faint second pink line!!!! I'm going to POAS again tomorrow and see if it's darker- I pray it's so!!!!

10/12: I POAS again last night and it was very very faint line about 20 minutes after taking the test. I POAS this morning an no faint line until about an hour after taking it. UGH... DH thinks I simply don't pee long enough on the stick (not sure this theory holds much water). I think that maybe we had an early chemical because I have other symptoms like enlarged nipples (TMI-sorry) and heartburn/indigestion... perhaps there are scant traces of the beta hormone in my urine, but not enough to really be a bfp. I really want to rule out evap lines because I'm using FRED tests and those so rarely have an evap line... to get three in row seems a bit strange. I'm taking another test tonight and tomorrow, but am thinking BFN on the beta tomorrow.

This Afternoon: GOT A "YES" ON FIRST RESPONSE GOLD!!!!!

10/13: Finally got the call... I answered and Dr. B said, "Is this the mommy??" AHHHHH--- officially knocked up!!! Our beta is 36 and our progesterone is 44!!!! I knew the Beta would be low, but Dr. B seemed to think 36 was fine, so we're going to keep thinking good thoughts :) I head to acupuncture tomorrow to help that beta go up, up, up!! Another Beta on Thursday... big money, no whammies!!!!

10/15: Beta was 86... so more than doubled!!! I still feel like that it is a little low, but Dr. B said that it doesn't matter. Going back Monday for the final beta... come on beta!!!

Message edited 10/15/2009 5:25:13 PM.

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal

Good luck!!!!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal

Good luck!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal

Good luck!!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal

Good luck to you!!!

maybe we'll be cycle buddies -I go see Braverman on Monday too to start my next cycle

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal

Thanks, Ladies! I really appreciate the support and encouragement :)

Lolipep: Yea for a cycle buddy!! I'm going to be at Dr. B's at 9am... maybe I'll see you there :)

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal

yay!! best of luck to you! i am looking forward to following your journey!! you are going to love dr. B!!
i monday too! at 9:45!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal

Good luck

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal

It looks like we're having a little party at Dr. B's on Monday morning!!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/14

update!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/14

good luck

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/14

I'm so sorry it didn't work out the way you were hoping, but you'll get there and I want to wish you luck!!!!!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/14

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/14

oh no!! i am praying to hear good news from the b/w!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/14

another update- good news!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/14

yay cycle buddy !!!!!
I'm so excited it worked out for you!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/14

That's awesome that you are a go! Good luck!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/19

Thanks for all of the support, ladies!! Another appointment...

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/19

yay!! keep it up!! good luck on monday for your next appt!!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/19

Best of luck!!!!!! You're on your way!!!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/19

I'm glad u were able to move forward!
Hope your appt went well today!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/19

Sounds like this is going much better for you, good luck!!!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/21

Thanks for the support :) This cycle has been so much easier than the first!

Re: I Guess It's My Turn: IVF Journal :: UPDATE 9/21

awesome update!!
you sound so upbeat and thats great! keep it up! im praying for you!!