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Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

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btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

we are staying there half of our trip and she smokes in the kitchen with the window cracked open. Smokes while cooking, immediately after dinner and all the time in between Chat Icon .

The dining room and LR are on the same floor (split level) and the smoke smell is in everything and gets into everything (so I'm going to have a TON of laundry to do).

How in the world do I handle the fact that I don't want Alyson around the smoke? It's her house...how do I ask her not to smoke in it?

Do I take Aly out of the room and go up or downstairs? Do I take her outside? Do I let it slide for 3 days?

Posted 7/6/06 10:41 AM
 
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05mommy09
Family of 5!

Member since 5/05

15364 total posts

Name:
<3 Mommy <3

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

IMO- you cant...

But what I would do is say- Can you let me know when you are gonna smoke- Its not good for Aly to be around it- so I would like to take her outside, while you are smoking.

If the woman dosent get the hint- then she has issues...

Posted 7/6/06 10:42 AM
 

Marcie
Complete Happiness :)

Member since 5/05

27789 total posts

Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Maybe say that you guys think Aly is allergic to it - so you have been trying to keep her away from it Chat Icon

Posted 7/6/06 10:44 AM
 

DaniMo
LIF Infant

Member since 5/06

341 total posts

Name:
Danielle

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Whenever we're visiting someone that is a smoker, we ask them to please smoke outside when we are there. So far, no complaints, and everyone is eager to comply.

Honestly, if someone refused to do that, I'd simply not visit. Its way too risky, and there is no need for me to put my DD in danger when someone can step a few feet outside to enjoy their smoke.

Have you or DH asked her if she'll go outside, or in her garage? Maybe she'll be happy to comply :)

Posted 7/6/06 10:44 AM
 

Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans

Member since 1/06

4018 total posts

Name:

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Truthfully, I wouldn't stay there.

Posted 7/6/06 10:44 AM
 

LuvMy2Girls
@>---------

Member since 5/05

11165 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

That's a tough one since it's her house. I would have my DH talk to her about our concerns with smoke and the baby, she may not even realize smoke is bad for baby or how you feel about it, she may comply since it's only a few days she would need to go outside.

If she doesn't, if it were me, I would take the baby outside, upstairs, anywhere but the smoky area, even if she was in the middle of a sentence after of course DH spoke to her about it. Sooner or later she would get it, if she wants to poison herself that's her decision, but she would not poison my child.
For future visits, I would tell her, her smoking is forcing us into a decision to stay somewhere else.

Posted 7/6/06 10:46 AM
 

MABLE03
I <3 SATC

Member since 6/06

4563 total posts

Name:
Fabulous

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

My mother smokes so we had the same problem when my son was born. I don't care if it is her house - its my baby. The first time I saw her do it I asked her to please go outside that I didn't want the smoke near the baby. You can't really argue with that IMO.

Also while she is cooking if she MUST smoke if it is nice out I would take your daughter outside for a short walk or if it is not nice out go to the other end of the house and shut the door.

ETA. Also bring lots of fabreze! (sp?)

Message edited 7/6/2006 10:48:38 AM.

Posted 7/6/06 10:47 AM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Honestly I personally would have refused to stay there unless she agreed not to smoke in her house.
I think since you are staying there you can only try to politely ask her not to smoke inside while you are there but understand that she might not agree to this.

Posted 7/6/06 12:52 PM
 

Stacey1403
Where it all began....

Member since 5/05

24065 total posts

Name:

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Posted by Michelle

Truthfully, I wouldn't stay there.

Me either even if she doesn't smoke while your there the 2nd hand smoke is everywhere. Can you stay somewhere else?

Posted 7/6/06 12:56 PM
 

iffer042373
5 weeks till I'm a big sister

Member since 5/05

2642 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

I would have DH talk to her since its his mother. I think that if you do it she might take offense to it

Posted 7/6/06 12:56 PM
 

2003fallwedding
SISTERS!!!

Member since 5/05

4317 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

When I go over to my mom's house, my dad goes out to smoke. He won't smoke around Hayley.

Have DH talk to her and if she won't change for the few days you are there I would not stay there.

Posted 7/6/06 1:07 PM
 

pmpkn087
Life is good...

Member since 9/05

18504 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Posted by Princessmaris

IMO- you cant...

But what I would do is say- Can you let me know when you are gonna smoke- Its not good for Aly to be around it- so I would like to take her outside, while you are smoking.

If the woman dosent get the hint- then she has issues...



I agree with this.

Posted 7/6/06 1:56 PM
 

KSJ1210
LIF Infant

Member since 7/05

259 total posts

Name:
shannon

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

I can't even believe she would smoke around your liitle girl to begin with!!! Chat Icon Chat Icon
What is she thinking!!!

Posted 7/6/06 4:28 PM
 

kimmie
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

1535 total posts

Name:
Kimberly

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

HAve you DH ask her to go outside and smoke it's nice out anyway!! Chat Icon

Posted 7/6/06 4:42 PM
 

JerseyMamaOf3
Boo!

Member since 6/05

15144 total posts

Name:

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

I made it clear to my parents that I want my parents to go outside to smoke when I am their and they do, even my dad because he is a heavy smoker. I don't allow smoking in my house and people respect it. Maybe if you feel uncomfortable telling her have your DH tell her. It wont kill her to go outside for three days.

Posted 7/6/06 5:45 PM
 

Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!

Member since 7/05

15652 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

I probably would have stayed somewhere else also. It's one thing if it's just a few hours for a visit but for an overnight trip it would bother me. She should KNOW this -- but if she wouldn't stop I would probably go and find someplace else to stay.

Posted 7/6/06 9:09 PM
 

MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug

Member since 5/05

11357 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Posted by Princessmaris

IMO- you cant...

But what I would do is say- Can you let me know when you are gonna smoke- Its not good for Aly to be around it- so I would like to take her outside, while you are smoking.

If the woman dosent get the hint- then she has issues...



This is a good idea. I would also ask DH to address this with his Mom.

Posted 7/6/06 10:40 PM
 
 

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