How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

I just found out I have PCOS the other day and was put on Metformin. Now, I have blood work and a sono and have not been back to discuss those with the doc yet, so I don't know the extent of things. My mom is constantly asking if I'm pg. I feel tired, "Are you pg?" I'm really craving ice cream, "Are you pg?" I have a headache, "Are you pg?" So, last night she asks me if I want a drink and I say no because of the Metformin and she sticks another knife in my side and asks if I'm pg. I don't want to say anything yet, but how the heck am I ever going to tell her? And his parents, who have always said to him he has to have a boy to carry on the family name?

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

I've been avoiding telling anybody my situation. I know sooner or later they are going to start asking but until then I will wait. Maybe just tell them your working on it.

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

OMG I feel so bad for you - your family should be more sensitive than to ask questions like this

We are in a similar situation, and unfortunately the only way I deal with it is either I avoid the ppl or I tell them to mind their own business

Good luck

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

Well, my parents found out we were TTC accidentally. I was getting massage with my mom and sister and the questionnaire asked if you were or could be pregnant and I was in the 2ww so I said I didn't know and the loud mouth masseuse told my mom.



That was early on, before we knew about the PCOS and sperm issues.

So it's been a natural conversation with them - I update them on what's happening and they don't ask about it unless I offer.

DH's family doesn't know a thing and we plan on keeping it that way until we get a BFP. And even then we aren't sure if we will tell them about the struggles we went through.

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

Every since my ectopic pregnancy in 2004 and Laporoscopy, my family pretty much knew my fibroids were causing me problems TTC. It was hard not to explain why I was having surgery.

But I just discovered that I have blocked tubes, and I am finding it difficult to share this with some of my friends and family. So far, I've been selective.

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

I'm very close to my mother and have kept her updated on tests, diagnoses, etc. For me, it's just easier that way. I haven't really discussed this with anyone else. Luckily, no one has asked.

My DH, on the other hand, seems to tell everyone.

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

After my miscarriage last year, which everyone knew about, it was pretty obvious that we weren't getting pg "right away" as we had hoped and as the OB promised.

Turns out --- both of my cousins, and my SIL, had similar issues. As did the waitress we had at Pappa Razzi, my ENT technologist this morning, my acupuncturist...when you speak about it it is amazing to find out how many people have been in the same boat.

So my mother and MIL both had 6 kids and have no idea what it is all about, but my mom and sisters know what we are going through. MIL doesn't ask (too wrapped up in her own stuff) so we don't tell. SILs know as well, as do friends who most have gone through IVF, IUI or other fertility issues...

Message edited 4/24/2006 11:32:35 AM.

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

My parents knew of our plans to start TTC. I was pretty candid about it with them - each month just let them know "nope not this month" and then after several unsuccessful months I let them know that my OBGYN was going to send me for some tests. I kept them updated on test results (mainly by email because it was easier to tell them both at the same time since my Mom is out of state).

When it came time to move on from the OBGYN and start seeing the RE, I let them know that too and kept them updated on all of those tests too.

I explained eveything to them...about the blood work, the HSG, the IUI procedure, taking Clomid and what it did/what side effects were.

My parents also knew about the several chemical pregnancies I had. I think that because I was so open with them, it never put ME in the position of having to answer questions like "Are you PG?" or "When are you going to start TTC?" and things like that.

I think that, at times, my Dad knew a little too much info about some things...like DHs count for our IUI but overall, I know they appreciated being kept in the loop. I'm their daughter and they were concerned about me.

It was nice to be able to be open about it with them. That's just my suggestion though. Like i said, sharing with them via email was great because it wasn't like I had to sit there and tell my Dad to his face all the details of my reproductive organs Email was a God send for me.

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

I had a similar situation regarding my parent and IL's. First of all we were 37 and 34 when we got married so... no time like the present.

We sold our house and moved in with IL's while getting massive improvements done on the house we bought. When you have to use their phone to make doctor's appts and leave the house at 5:20am to get to an RE appt. It's pretty obvious something is going on.

I also wanted to stop the comments/questions before they started. I don't think there should be this stigma attached to it. Would I tell people if I had another medical condition? Probably. It amazes me how open some people are in this society when talking about issues that they have contributed to themselves (ie. addictions) yet, many couples feel uncomfortable admitting or having others know they have fertility issues. We did nothing wrong and need support. I get very few comments and when people make one I tell them the reality of the situation straight to their face... it shuts them up.

My mother tried to conceive me for 5 years, I was born with this condition and it runs in my family. Every biological female relative I have has had difficulty conceiving and both adopted.

My MIL is very supportive. She has a good friend that had her triplets through Dr. Rosenfeld and she told me about him. I don't tell my Dad as much. Not sure how much he would really want to know about "all of the female stuff".

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

Don't have experience with this but maybe just tell your mom that you need her to stop with the pregnancy comments right now. Just tell her that with PCOS you may or may not be able to get pregnant and it is a very sensitive subject that you do not want to discuss right now.
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

I think our families when we didn't get PG right away after our M/C, but we never openly discussed it with anyone (other then the wonderful ladies on this board).

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

Thanks for the insight. It's not that I think that either parents wouldn't be understanding and supportive...I guess I'm just not ready to talk about it and I think maybe they'll be really disappointed because I'm disappointed. I guess I should just tell my mom to stop asking so I don't feel pressured. It's just that we have a very small family and I'm her only child...What I've been thinking about is that a couple months ago she told me she saw baby things and she was buying them--I told her to stop it cause you never know what could happen and I would be really sad to know that she had those things and we may never use them--I keep thinking about that. But these things are all in my head, and not something they've done wrong. I guess in time...or if something else happens, then they'll know.
Thanks everyone!

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

Well, little naive me told everyone when we were starting TTC. So, after time passed everyone realized something was up. I was pretty open about it to friends and family anyway.

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?

Re: How did you tell people (your parents in particular) about your IF issues?