Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

When I go to a wedding I usually just look at my gift list and give back what I was given. Usually, that works out fine.

I have a wedding to go to in a few weeks where the couple gave us about half of what I would normally give. I am friends with the bride but, not close friends - we are friends from college and see each other a few times a year at most.

Here is my question - our wedding was two years ago - should I adjust for inflation etc? I know at my wedding, some of my close friends (married, wealthy) gave me exactly what I gave them even though at the time of their wedding (years earlier) I was single and a student.

What would you do? Give the exact same amount or give more?

I ask this question more generally just to see what the general etiquette is

ETA: The amount they gave us was $150. I usually give at least $300 to friends. I'm thinking I should up it to $200? But, then again, I'm not made of $$$

Message edited 2/19/2006 11:28:16 AM.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

I usually give what I got plus a little gift, like a frame or something small from their regsitry. But you give what you can afford. If they gave you $500, you are not expected to give that back if you don't make that kind of money. At the same time, if all they could've afforded at the time to give you was $75 and you can give more, than do so.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

If you are not comfortable with the amount they gave you - I would "adjust" a little bit. I went to a wedding back in November where the bride and groom had given us a SUPER low amount at our wedding - I upped it a bit because I wasn't comfortable giving them something so low back (even though they did)

I agree though - I had couples who's weddings I went to YEARS ago give back the same amount...oh well, what can I do

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

I don't give what i was given ....I just do not follow that motto

I usually just gie the same price to everyone unless it is a close friend or family member. Then i give more....

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Redhead -

I sort of agree with you but, if I usually give $300 and someone gave me $500 for ex. I wouldn't feel right giving them $300. make sense? Also, if i usually give $300 or more and someone only gave me $150 I wouldn't want to give my usual because I would feel sort of weird about it. Like if I had only given someone a lower amount and they gave me more than double I would feel sort of embarrassed. I don't know if that makes sense?

Thanks for the input though!

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

honestly....we give what we can. We have one out of NY wedding and they gave us a gift (nothiing expensive either) so I plan on giving them a gift as well, but I'm trying to either find something special (it's the babys' godfather) or make something personalized.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Message edited 2/19/2006 7:36:25 PM.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

I might be the oddball here, but me and DH give to people what they gave us. We usually give $300 (as most people gave us) but we went to a wedding a few months back where they gave us $200 and that is what we gave them.

Maybe in 5 - 10 years things will change, but for now we follow that rule.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

I have had this-- but it was within months of our wedding-- we gave a little more, since we didn't want to give as low as they gave us. We felt that was the right thing to do.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

I just generally give friends 300, regardless of what they gave us, unless of course they gave us more than 300, then I give what they gave us, but never less than that. That's just how I am.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

I usually look back at the list but someone that was at my wedding that had gotten married about 10 years b4 me, ( she was a young bride.) gave me exaclty what i gave her, at the time it was a very very generous gift and when it was my wedding almost 2 years ago, it looked kind of cheap for that many years later. I adjust according to how long ago . HTH

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Am i the only one who didn't make a list of what people gave me?

And how long do people keep these lists?

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

We give back what we received except for 1 couple who really didn't have very much. They gave us $100, we gave them $250. Another couple we gave $50 less than they gave us because they were annoying our limo drivers, which delayed everything by 30 minutes and cost us $100 in overtime charges.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

We give what we got . . .


ETA: We made a list for Thank You purposes, not to keep track of what to give back.

Message edited 2/20/2006 11:37:59 AM.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

I think I would give $200 as well.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

We have the same thing coming up and we plan on giving more. It is OOT for us as our wedding was for them, but I cannot fathom giving them what they gave us. Normally we give between 200-300, but in this case I feel ok giving 150 since they only gave us 36 (for both of them.)

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

I just had my wedding in Dec where i recieved a $200 gift from a friend and his gf. They will be getting married in Oct and plan on giving them the same amount back.

i think its a fair amount.

Even $150 is a fair amount. I received a lot of gifts of that amount at my wedding.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Ok, IMO I think it's a bit extreme to look back at a wedding gift list from 2 years ago to see what you got & what you should give. I give according to the relationship I have w/ who ever is getting married. If I am in the finincial situation where I can give more then I will, if not then I won't.

Message edited 2/20/2006 2:43:38 PM.

Re: Question about giving wedding gifts (for those married already)

Honestly, I would give $150. If you're uncomfortable then give $175.