Feeling like a bad mommy....(long-sorry)

This is more of a vent than anything else, although dog behaviorists may be of some assistance....

We are in the process of selling our house. As of Sunday all the updates are FINALLY completed, the house is clean and "staged" . So now I feel like I'm living in a museum.

Here's the problem- we have 2 persians and a dalmation mix. LOTS of white "tumbleweeds". DH has now confined the kitties to the basement as well as Luna's crate. Luna's allowed upstairs only when we are home.

The cats are fine- I bought them lots of toys (I can hear them tearing around down there) and moved furniture so they can look out the windows.

Luna, on the other hand has some of the nervous dalmation tendencies. She's terrified by anything new. For example, when DH goes to play hockey, he'll bring his equipment bag into the livingroom. She loses her mind. Her trainer at puppy kindergarten warned me that she will always be sensitive, so we try to never force her into situations and let her move at her own pace.

Anyway, with her crate in the basement rather than the family room, getting her to go in at night is impossible. Last night I spent 45 minutes trying to coax her in. The night before it took almost an hour(so I guess there's SOME progress). And now, with potential buyers coming through, she has to be crated EVERY time I leave the house, so it's going to be difficult....
Just when I'm ready to kill her and raise my voice, I see how frightened she is- her tail is tucked, her eyes are darting all over the room, ears are down. She was a rescue, so I don't know what she's been through in her life. I just know that this dog hates new situations. She's very submissive, there's no growling or snapping, just that sad face.

Is it possible to break a dog of their fear of EVERYTHING. As she's getting older, I'm noticing that she's nervous around new people (especially men). She used to run right up to people, now she does that wierd sidle with her tail wagging but real low, like she's gonna make a break for it if there are any sudden movements. We live in the country, so her exposure to people and other animals is somewhat limited. I was taking her to the dog park alot, and she was doing really well. Then she caught giardia three times (causes dysentary)and we almost lost her, so now I'm hesitant.

OK, vent over- I need to dust the museum and attempt to put Luna in her crate so I can run to the supermarket...

Amy

Re: Feeling like a bad mommy....(long-sorry)

You can help dogs with their fear, but in my opinion, especially with a rescue, they will never entirely forget. rescues may come with trust issues, and although you know that you are using the cage in a way that is intended to protect and to help, your pup may not pick up on that. Because you have to suddenly change the habit of a dog who is already trying to re-establish, you may find that it will take a very long time or just not work as well as planned. And if you are moving soon, your pup will also be affected by that as well.

You had mentioned that you had a trainer at one point...why not go and talk to them about the new behaviors and coming changes to see if there is not something that can be done? Since the trainer is familiar with your dog, they might offer you the best insight into what can work for you.

Off the cuff, I'd say the best thing to do is to continue to speak in reassuring tones to your pup, and to praise your pup heavily when a behaviour is carried out, such as getting into the crate. Maybe a reward of a new toy just to play with in the crate may help?

Good luck.

Re: Feeling like a bad mommy....(long-sorry)

As the owner of a scaredy dalmatian mix (who we adopted as a rescue a few months ago and love to pieces), I can definitely relate to your post!

A few suggestions:

1) I recommend the book "Help for Your Shy Dog" . It has lots of tips for owners of scaredy dogs (whether they're afraid of people, objects, etc.) as well as a lot of inspiring real life stories of super shy dogs that went on to control their fears and achieve great things.

2) One of the most important things I learned is how important My behavior and words are to how my dog reacts. When your dog is afraid, most people's (including mine) natural instinct is to coo at them in a soft voice and say, "It's okay. Don't be scared." What that does is tells the dog - "Wow, there is something to be afraid of!" and you're actually Encouraging their bad behavior. Instead, talk to them in a happy, chipper voice signaling that nothing is wrong, or, if they're frightened and barking at something/someone, even tell them a firm "No," letting them know that their behavior is not right.

3) Also, your body language and energy is important. My dog is frightened of kids and I found that whenever I was walking him and spotted a child, I would tense up and be anxious for fear of my dog's reaction. That only resulted in him feeling my tension and becoming even more scared himself! Now, I try to be confident and in charge and will keep walking paying no mind to the "scary" children in the distance. It's definitely been helping.

4) As MsMBV suggested, a trainer should definitely help too. Maybe you can even find one that specializes in helping shy dogs? (Our shelter recommended one for us.) They can give you lots more exercises and advice for your dog.

As for the crate in the basement problem, was Luna perfectly fine with her crate when it was in the family room? Is it just the new location that is frightening her? Would a bedroom be a less scary location for the crate? From what I know of crate training, the best location for a crate is in a heavy traffic area of the house where the dog can see you often (which may be why she's objecting to the basement so much?).

Some of the things we did to help crate train our dog was to use Comfort Zone for Dogs . It's a plug in that releases pheromones that helps calm them. Also, you may need to re-crate train her (feed her in the crate, putting the food further and further back; leaving in her crate for very short periods of time and then lengthening it). To keep our dog occupied, we put his food in a Kong toy, mixed with some water, and then freeze it. It takes him a good 45 minutes to get the food out and it keeps him occupied. Also, maybe you could leave a TV or a radio on to calm her.

Wow, sorry to have written so much. I have a soft spot for scaredy dalmatian mixes!

Good luck with her and your move! And you are Not a bad mommy!