So, you knew this was coming...

Have you ever gone through a time when you thought the spark was gone and then found it again?

Re: So, you knew this was coming...

I think relationship go through stages, one minute you can't live without that person, next minute you want to run away.

I guess you have to remember what exactly made you love your partner in the first place and really think of the pros and cons of the relationship, once you balance them out wether there are more or less, than you need to find a solution if it's more cons to the relationship.

ETA: sometimes love is not enough to keep a relationship afloat.

Message edited 5/15/2006 10:03:51 PM.

Re: So, you knew this was coming...

We've always had it, but everyone is different. I don't see why a couple could not rekindle things. Many couples split and work their way back to each other.

I think, too, that you need to figure out what that "spark" means to you, how YOU define it. I think something deep should smolder, not spark, do you know what I mean? You may find that you work this out and find yourselves with something deeper in the long run.

Re: So, you knew this was coming...

I think there are ebbs and flows to any relationship, but the spark cannot completely die. Everyone goes through bad stages--they are lying if someone says they don't--but there has to be a deeper understanding of what will keep you together. Are we as passionate as when we first got together? No. Are there times when things become monotonous? Yes, but those are the times when you change things up to make it more exciting....I don't know what you are trying to ask--I don't think any relationship stays in that new passionate stage forever, but it gets replaced by something else.

Re: So, you knew this was coming...

i think that sometimes its dimmer, and sometimes it burns bright- but its always there. People grow and change, and so do relationships. They Can't stay the same, because by human nature, WE dont stay the same- and what worked for us 5 years ago isn't necessarily what's going to work for us now, and vice versa. But i think great relationships are both strong and flexible. Strong enough to stand the test of time, and flexible enough to make the changes With the times. I dont think great relationships just happen- i think theyre the product of a lifetime of hard work. I guess i sound like a broken record when i say this, but i truly believe it--- You can't just 'Hope' the be happy, or to have the happy relationship... you have to DECIDE to have it. and you can't just Hope that the sparks will return, you have to decide that your love is worth fighting for, and investing in.

but with all that being said (and this is just my personal POV)- when one person in the relationship cheats, they basically null & void that whole theory. I feel like that kind of act, in and of itself, decides that the person did not care enough about the relationship to stand strong in the face of temptation- and that speaks volumes to me

Re: So, you knew this was coming...

I said we have always had it but there are times when things get tough and it seems that it is gone but it really is not.

Re: So, you knew this was coming...

all situations and people are different. it is difficult to compare one's experience to another's. i think you should focus on your feelings and how you would like to move forward. only you can accurately assess the situation and although it is an unfortunate one, it IS one that you need to make on your own.

Re: So, you knew this was coming...

I put other, as in there, were times we felt like we'd lost it, but we have always been able to get it back. i talked about it in the other thread. I think sometimes there is a lot of stress in your lives, or there is fighting, or your relationship is on a downturn, and you don't feel the spark, but with a little TLC, it comes back

Re: So, you knew this was coming...

yes and it hurts i know! BUT LUCKLY WE DID GET OUR BACK! it's not the same though for everyone! good luck sweety! and hang in there!

Re: So, you knew this was coming...

Don't compare yourself to others. But yes, there have been times for us when the spark is more like a damp ember, and then it comes back like a firecracker. But really, this is your relationship and what works for some may not work for you and vice versa. Good luck~

Re: So, you knew this was coming...