Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

and have not talked to them for over a year and 1/2 and then decided even though your feelings have not change about this person and you still don't want anything to do with this person, but you decided to make everyone's lives easier you attend family functions that that person will attend or even if you are hosting family holiday dinner you include them?

Does this make sense?

I am just wondering, how do you deal?

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

i am having a hard time with this one..

My and my sister are not seeing eye to eye...well actually more than that..Tot he point i can't be around her at all...

So i am not at the point where i can be near her at family functions just yet

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

That describes my relationship with my sister to a T. I avoid any extraneous contact with her but when it can't be avoided (i.e. family functions), we both go and make an effort to be civil to each other.

That sometimes makes for a crummy time at whatever event but I think it's easier than getting other family members involved - which is what will happen if one person refuses to include another (imho).

Good luck though. It's not a fun situation at all!

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

I am reaching the point you are at. My yongest sister makes things really difficult to the point that I really don't want to be around her. I never call her and only speak to her when I have to. I do attend family functions because I get along with my other 2 sisters very well.

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

For years, my brother and I fought like cats and dogs. He has issues and took them out on me.

Now we are civil to each other and get along but he is still the black sheep and has the same issues.

There are some major issues here which prevent us from being "friends"

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

My oldest brother and I have not spoken in close to two years over an incident that had NOTHING to do with him, yet he chose to get himself invovled. I won't go to functions I know he/his family will be at and visa-versa. I recently saw my nieces at my other nieces birthday and they said NOTHING to me or Amber. It's sad, but I know they've been coached by their wretched mother.

We avoided my husband's brother/wife for almost four years because of past drama. It had to be that way - all the back and forth crap was tearing everyone apart for waaayy too long. That break was well needed. I don't think we will ever be "close" but at least it's at a place were we can be "cordial" for the sake of the children.

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

Posted by Redhead

i am having a hard time with this one..

My and my sister are not seeing eye to eye...well actually more than that..Tot he point i can't be around her at all...

So i am not at the point where i can be near her at family functions just yet

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

At one point we were at that stage. Since then it was decided to move on and talk again...(re: no input from me but whatever). There was never a discussion or a resolution.

During the time that we weren't talking there was a mix of attendance. If it was a party for someone else and thrown by someone else then we all usually showed up and just didn't acknowledge each other. If it was an immediate family thing then one side wouldn't show.

For the most part we all dealt with it. The hard part was dealing with everyone else. It's amazing how much people love other people's misery. At first it was disguised as concern but later transformed into gossip...sometimes intentionally mean to hurt.

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

i am so relieved I am not the only one. I see my sister but am ambivalent about it - it breaks my heart as we are readying to welcome our own child and i don't think she will be a big part of its life....

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

My younger brother and I haven't seen eye to eye for a very long time. The only time we speak is when we happen to be at our parents house together. Then we act like nothing is wrong for the sake of my parents. He's a LOSER and has a B E O T C H for a wife. That's unfortunate and so sad.

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

It's not my direct sibling, but I have major issues with my BIL's wife. If we happen to be at the same family function, which is rare, we simply don't speak. We'll barely acknowledge each other with a hello. But lucky for me, she's the one who avoids me and family situations. I have tried being the bigger person in the past, but I'm so over it now. The less of her I see, the better.

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

Thankfully my Brother and I are close. DH & one of his Sister's are not...but it's not just him. This Sister has major problems with his entire family...Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother....

ETA: This Sister that's the problem doesn't make ANY family functions. She has an excuse for everything.

Message edited 5/11/2006 12:40:16 PM.

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

I know its easier said than done, and I know none of us is perfect and has a perfect life, but I hope all your sibling relationships get healed somehow...

Relationships with siblings should be precious...

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

Yes ,and I don't have to deal with it because I don't talk to anyone in my family besides my brother and he doesn't speak to the family either. That makes things much easier!!

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

My brother and I have never gotten along and go many months even a year not speaking or bothering with each other since we were younger. It bothers me but when he's around he always manages to do something to make my blood rise and now that he's married his wife causes just as much drama so most of the time I feel like we are all just better off.

Re: Family question, do any of not get along with a sibling

I am not close to one of my three sisters since she got married...lots of family drama related to it which I won't go into on here but long story short--it's hard, it still hurts but have begun to accept it. Therapist me hates the lack of resolution so to speak though.