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Necessary, or crossing the line?

Forum Opinion Poll
Necessary - unfortunately kids can't be trusted these days. 30 68.18%
Crossing the line - a total invasion of privacy. 4 9.09%
Not enough information to determine 10 22.73%
 

Necessary, or crossing the line?

Posted By Message

Shorty
.

Member since 5/05

30390 total posts

Name:
really

Necessary, or crossing the line?

I couldn't believe this when I was reading it this morning - what do you think?

At first, I was shocked that a man would do this to his own daughter. BUT then I realized that the article leaves out information ABOUT the daughter. Is she a trouble kid? etc.

I'm still appalled that someone would go to such lengths to be in control.

source


A Dad's way of keeping tabs on his daughter

BY ROBERT POLNER
STAFF WRITER

March 13, 2006

There is Big Brother, and then there is Big Father.

When his daughter, Elise, 16, got her driver's license, Larry Lapaglia bought her a small car and fitted the dashboard with a $500 gadget he sells for a living -- a global positioning system device no bigger than a pack of cigarettes.

Increasingly put to use in the personal sphere, the equipment, for a service fee of $40 a month, sends him a red-flag message on his cell phone and computer any time his daughter drives beyond a prescribed perimeter or exceeds a speed limit predetermined by him.

The equipment also lets Lapaglia, the director of sales and operations for PlanetLink Communications Inc., find out precisely where his daughter is anytime she gets behind the wheel.

"She was extremely upset -- it was an 'invasion of privacy,'" said Lapaglia, who is married and lives in New Braunfels, Texas, a suburb of San Antonio.

Lapaglia said he was unbowed by his daughter's protests. Together, they demarcated a "fence" around their home. "

When Elise turns 17 in about six months, if she has lived up to the terms, her father will remove the monitoring equipment from her car, he said.

So far, it's working out fairly well, said Lapaglia, who spoke last week in Chicago about GPS technology to an association of procurement and shipping managers from private companies. The equipment is so precise, he said in a telephone interview, that one vendor he knows sells mainly to older men who want to keep track of much younger wives.

As for his cheerleader daughter, there has been only one occasion so far when she has breached the perimeter. It led to a serious father-daughter discussion. There have been no unusual events since, he said.

"As I told her, the reality is, it's only an issue if she does something she is not supposed to do," Lapaglia said.

Posted 3/13/06 10:56 AM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

I am not sure I think it is an invasion of privacy, because she is driving his car, on his insurance plan. Driving is a privilege and I guess this is his way of seeing if she can follow his rules until she is 17.

It's probably not something I would do, but if she doesn't want him knowing where she is, she doesn't have to drive his car Chat Icon

ETA: I know some people will say it is her car, but I don't see it that way - she is 16, there is no way she would have a car without her parents facilitating the purchase and insurance.

Message edited 3/13/2006 11:02:23 AM.

Posted 3/13/06 11:01 AM
 

MsG
Should be working

Member since 5/05

2824 total posts

Name:
G

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

When I was a teenager, if my parents had done something like that to me, it would have made me want to rebel even more. I guess it depends on the kid. My parents trusted me and for the most part I didn't do anything to lose their trust.

Posted 3/13/06 11:04 AM
 

Elbee
Zanzibar

Member since 5/05

10767 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

I think it's extreme but the fact is most teenagers test their limits on boundaries (not just physical) parents set.

How many times as a teen were you where you somewhere where your parents had NO idea. I used to hit Keg parties while my parents thought I was playing pool. I would get in friends cars and go to Manhattan when my parents thought I was at a friends house. And I wasn't a bad kid - I never cut school, always got straight A's - but as teens we experiment and sometimes follow our friends.

As for this instance with driving, in my opinion 16 year olds shouldn't be driving without a parent anyway, but that's not the law ... the least that could be done is having limits set on how far a teen can drive and I don't think it's too far fetched to have a tracking system to make sure those rules are followed.

I don't think it's completely out of order.

Posted 3/13/06 11:05 AM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

Posted by MsG

When I was a teenager, if my parents had done something like that to me, it would have made me want to rebel even more. I guess it depends on the kid. My parents trusted me and for the most part I didn't do anything to lose their trust.



I agree. I see it more as an issue of the parents not trusting her, than as an invasion of privacy. If she has done nothing to betry their trust up until now, I think it is a little over the top.

Posted 3/13/06 11:05 AM
 

LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here

Member since 5/05

12023 total posts

Name:
Sonia

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

Posted by Elbee

I think it's extreme but the fact is most teenagers test their limits on boundaries (not just physical) parents set.

How many times as a teen were you where you somewhere where your parents had NO idea. I used to hit Keg parties while my parents thought I was playing pool. I would get in friends cars and go to Manhattan when my parents thought I was at a friends house. And I wasn't a bad kid - I never cut school, always got straight A's - but as teens we experiment and sometimes follow our friends.

As for this instance with driving, in my opinion 16 year olds shouldn't be driving without a parent anyway, but that's not the law ... the least that could be done is having limits set on how far a teen can drive and I don't think it's too far fetched to have a tracking system to make sure those rules are followed.

I don't think it's completely out of order.



I would have to agree. I think I can't truly say until I'm in those shoes.

Message edited 3/13/2006 11:10:10 AM.

Posted 3/13/06 11:09 AM
 

PiyoPika566
talk to the hand

Member since 5/05

1436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

I don't think it's crossing the line at all... he bought her the car, she should obey by his rules while she's operating the car, she's only 16! He is just trying to protect her.

Don't think I would like it very much if I am at her age... however, when she's older, she'll see the reasoning behind all the "crazy, unfair" things that parents do to their kids.

Posted 3/13/06 11:11 AM
 

anon
where's winter?

Member since 11/05

2209 total posts

Name:

xxxxxxx

Message edited 2/11/2007 8:07:16 PM.

Posted 3/13/06 11:23 AM
 

tourist

Member since 5/05

10425 total posts

Name:

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

I don't think it is out of line, but there are definitely ways of going places you shouldn't: drive to a friend's house & have her drive to the forbidden location, etc, so I'm not sure how effective it is, but it could be useful in case the child got lost or the car broke down & she didn't really know where she was.

ETA-I was under the impression the girl was aware of the device beining in her car, which I am totally in favor of.

Message edited 3/13/2006 11:30:58 AM.

Posted 3/13/06 11:29 AM
 

Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st

Member since 5/05

15287 total posts

Name:

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

I think it's genious!! What better way to be 100% sure his daughter is staying within limits set by the parents?? 16 is YOUNG. I think too young to have their own car but I realize it's a necessity in some places. How else can her parent's know that she truly is trustworthy while giving her some freedow at the same time??

Posted 3/13/06 11:33 AM
 

PiyoPika566
talk to the hand

Member since 5/05

1436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

Posted by anon

if i was ever to install such an invasive device (which i wouldn't) i would make sure that i told my child i was doing so. if i didn't trust my child, he/she would not have access to my car. i would never do anything "sneaky" to them as i would expect them to not do anything "sneaky" to me. kids will be kids, and a certain amount of rebellion is to be expected, but i think it's more important to lead by example and not monitor behavior without prior knowledge.



I agree that nothing should be done without the knowledge of the kids, everything should be out in the open and talked about, which I think it's what the father did.
In this case, I don't see it as the parent not trusting his daughter, but rather he is protecting her, making sure she is safe.

How many "flower/picture" on the tree or lamp poles have you seen?? it is erie... kids will always be kids, even the most responsible ones.

Posted 3/13/06 11:37 AM
 

Elbee
Zanzibar

Member since 5/05

10767 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

Posted by tourist

I don't think it is out of line, but there are definitely ways of going places you shouldn't: drive to a friend's house & have her drive to the forbidden location, etc, so I'm not sure how effective it is, but it could be useful in case the child got lost or the car broke down & she didn't really know where she was.

ETA-I was under the impression the girl was aware of the device beining in her car, which I am totally in favor of.



I think in this case it has more to do with the limits of where she is allowed to drive. And i don't blame the parents. Teens get into a lot of accidents because of inexperience and limits are one way to reduce that risk. Can accidents still happen? Yes, but if you forbid say the 'highway' you reduce the risk if even by a little.

The girl knows the device is there, so it's not 'sneaky' in any way.

Message edited 3/13/2006 11:38:15 AM.

Posted 3/13/06 11:37 AM
 

Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st

Member since 5/05

15287 total posts

Name:

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

I am not even thinking car accidents -- but what about running away? Or all these kids you hear about sneaking off to meet someone from the internet and turning up dead?

Posted 3/13/06 11:42 AM
 

Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

14624 total posts

Name:

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

Posted by Shorty

When Elise turns 17 in about six months, if she has lived up to the terms, her father will remove the monitoring equipment from her car, he said.




I think this is a great idea, so long as she knows about it ahead of time. I think it is a way of his daughter earnign her father's trust, which from the article it sounds like she is.

The reality of the matter is that kids do dumb things... some of those dumb things can get us into real trouble. Kids today need very active parenting. There are too many dangers out there. Too many predators with very easy ways of finding kids (the internet, etc...).

Posted 3/13/06 11:44 AM
 

anon
where's winter?

Member since 11/05

2209 total posts

Name:

xxxxxxx

Message edited 2/11/2007 8:07:39 PM.

Posted 3/13/06 11:56 AM
 

Shorty
.

Member since 5/05

30390 total posts

Name:
really

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

Posted by anon

see, i feel the opposite way that my trust does not have to be earned by my child. if he/she does something to break the trust repeatedly, then something would have to be done (i would just take away car privileges completely).

i just personally find it too invasive. it's something my parents would never do to me, so i would never want to do it to my child.



this is how it always worked in my house.

Posted 3/13/06 11:56 AM
 

saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!

Member since 5/05

16555 total posts

Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

i choose necessary, but not b/c kids can't be trusted. her father had to have a reason for installing the gps and whether she likes it or not, its his car and under his insurance so she has to abide by his rules.

Posted 3/13/06 12:08 PM
 

Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

14624 total posts

Name:

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

Posted by Shorty

Posted by anon

see, i feel the opposite way that my trust does not have to be earned by my child. if he/she does something to break the trust repeatedly, then something would have to be done (i would just take away car privileges completely).

i just personally find it too invasive. it's something my parents would never do to me, so i would never want to do it to my child.



this is how it always worked in my house.



That's the way things worked in my house too- but I think it is a different time. I would be very worried about the internet, and myspace and how many predators are out there hunting for naive kids. I just think there are so many dangers out there, maybe I look at it more as a safety issue.

Also, Kids will always tell their parents they are somewhere, when they are really somewhere else. Now with cell phones, its so easy to lie about it. Thankfully my little lies never got me into any major trouble, but I think that the dangers out there are much worse than anything we had to face growing up.

Posted 3/13/06 12:15 PM
 

MommyofG
just the girls

Member since 5/05

9461 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Necessary, or crossing the line?

It would have ****** me off as a teenager but what didnt that my parents disagreed with me on . In these times of today and I cant imagine what it will be like when I have a teenager, I think this is a good thing. I dont think its invading privacy, its a safety issue. when she/he is 18 supposedly an adult to make thier own decisions then I wouldnt agree to this, but for a 16 yr old driving yes I do.

Posted 3/13/06 12:35 PM
 
 

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