Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

What do you normally do when you have a fight/disagreement with someone? Do you hold a grude? Do you just get over it and move on?

What do yuo do when the other person holds a grudge and you're not even mad anymore? Just ignore them or try to talk to them again?

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

i hate answering this way but it really depends on why i am holding the grudge.
Most things though i let go after a while.
But i have held on to a few


If someone is holding a grudge agaist me....F*CK'EM....i could careless
IMO it would be up to them to talk with me...i wouldn't be taking the first step

Message edited 11/21/2005 12:36:41 PM.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

it all depends on the who/why with me...

Sorry, that wasn't helpful at all.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

do i hold a grudge - not really. waste of energy to me.

do i care if someone has a grudge aganist me? hell no! why should i worry about what they are mad about me over....

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

Yes I hold grudges ....it really does depned on what the reason is ... but for the most part yes

And as for a grudge against me... I don't really care ..... I am definitely not going to ask them why if they want to tell me they can if not oh well !

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

Maybe more info would be better - I had a small disagreement with someone - something, that in my mind, should have been over and done with about 5 minutes after it happened.

It's now been months and I realize she is still holding a grudge.

I don't see her too much so it's not something I have to deal with every day, but when I do see her it's realllly obvious she is holding a grudge.

Part of me wants to ask why can't we all just get along. The other part of me wants to flip her off and not think about her anymore LOL

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

I try to get it over with and move on. I hate confrontation. Unfortunately, DH is the opposite. He LOVES holding grudges, so while I'm trying to stop a fight, he's trying to continue it.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

Posted by MrsJ

Maybe more info would be better - I had a small disagreement with someone - something, that in my mind, should have been over and done with about 5 minutes after it happened.

It's now been months and I realize she is still holding a grudge.

I don't see her too much so it's not something I have to deal with every day, but when I do see her it's realllly obvious she is holding a grudge.

Part of me wants to ask why can't we all just get along. The other part of me wants to flip her off and not think about her anymore LOL

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

Posted by MrsJ

Maybe more info would be better - I had a small disagreement with someone - something, that in my mind, should have been over and done with about 5 minutes after it happened.

It's now been months and I realize she is still holding a grudge.

I don't see her too much so it's not something I have to deal with every day, but when I do see her it's realllly obvious she is holding a grudge.

Part of me wants to ask why can't we all just get along. The other part of me wants to flip her off and not think about her anymore LOL

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

If I was the one who was at fault, I'd leave it alone, especially if it was something serious. Forgiveness takes time.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

It has to be pretty bad for me to hold a grudge. I usually just blow it off and figure one or both of us were just having bad days.

If someone is holding a grudge against me (whether for a big or small reason) and they haven't made the attempt to talk it out I just blow them off. I don't have the time or patience to deal with it.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

For the most part No...Actually I never used to EVER. to me life is too short. Lets move on, forgive and forget etc.

Recently I had a few things occur where I could sit back and say I was better off holding a grudge because thenm the same thing couldnt happen again. I had forgiven and forgotten already. One was with my Aunts ex husband, I decided to hold a grudge for things done and I always will.

So its based on the situation, but I can say in the past I cant remember EVER doing that, I think its silly.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

I hold a grudges for a long time and then let it go depending on the where/why.

If someone is holding a grudge against me for what I think is a valid reason, than I'd apologize. If it's something I think is silly, than I don't care.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

Also ..I think the deifinition can be different from person to person.

to me a Grudge is when the situation is resolved between two people yet one person still wont let it go, for whatever reason.

If the situation is never resolved, its basically just a fight...LOL...not a grudge.

Thats why I think its hard for me to say yes I still hold a grudge, because if If an issue is resolved and Im still bringing it up months, or years later, then it could be my own fault/issue...

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

I do hold grudges but it does depend on what happened.

As for your situation, it would bother me if the person was still holding a grudge against me and I thought it was something silly. I would make an attempt to talk it out again and if she/he still held on to the grudge or wouldn't talk, then screw 'em.

I'm actually in a similar situation right now with one of my SILs. I know she's holding a grudge against me & DH... I tried MORE than once to 'fix' things and that's it. I had to let it go. If she's needs to sit there and stew for another few months, at least I know I tried.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

I hate holding grudges, and don't understand when others hold grudges. IMHO, no matter what the situation, there's a solution to everything. We're adults. Life is about lessons to learn. If someone wrongs you enough that it burns, then it teaches you for the future. If a grudge is what you have to result to, and end up losing that friend/relative in the process, then I'm sure you're the one who has to live with anguish/anger longer than the person you're directing it to.

To me, holding grudges takes up WAY too much time & energy, and I have too short a life to deal with 'this & that'.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

I definitely can hold a grudge. I have gotten over some of them, but others will never go away.
If someone holds a grudge against me I don't really give a sh!t. I have enough friends, so if someone doesn't like me then it's no big loss.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

If they acknowledge they were wrong and apologize without "but..." and don't repeat the behavior, then no grudge. If they can't do that, then grudge!

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

YES! Absolutely, Positively! Yes, Yes, Yes! I hold a grudge.

If someone else is holding a grudge (and if there isn't anything I can do about it) I will pout, think about it, try to apologize and then just keep rehashing it over and over again until I make myself sick. Unfortunately!

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

No I do not hold a grudge. and if someone held one against me, oh well their loss.

Its not healthy to hold grudges either. I just watch what I say and do around that person for future referrance.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

no.. i dont hold grudges.

for most things in life, i really just apply the "who gives a crap' mentality because, seriously, most grudges can really stem from petty things, and is it really worth it? usually not.

i also look at it as- why should anyone care what i think about them, and why should i care about what they think about me? Grudges build on the idea that other peoples opinions really matter, which, in the long run, they really dont.

Re: Do you hold a grudge? And what do you do when someone else holds a grudge against you?

No I dont hold grudges I try to after a while apologize to the person and try to work things out! I am already in this situation right now where someone is holding a grudge against me and does it bother me a Big Yes because i am a person who likes to try to get a long with everyone and if a person is upset with me i get all sensitive but i guess i need to move on and just get over it because i know this person wont make the first move and make a truce I need to learn to deal with it!

Message edited 11/22/2005 6:01:38 AM.