krashnburn
I am Batman!
Member since 5/05 4093 total posts
Name:
I'm Batman, I tell you!
|
Cute FWD I got today
Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
>
> I've been teaching now for about fifteen years.
>
> I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I
> know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom
> a few years back.
>
> When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always
> have a few sessions with my students. It helps them
> get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty
> tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
> pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
>
> And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations
> on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk
> about it, they're welcome.
>
> Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright,
> very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to
> the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her
> sweater.
>
> She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke,
> my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his
> birthday."
>
> "First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their
> love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and
> Luke grew in there.
>
> He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
>
> She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and
> I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder
> with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
>
> "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying
> and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind
> her back and groans. "She walked around the house for,
> like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a
> hysterical duck walk and groaning.
>
> "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,
> but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the
> Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like
> this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the
> wall.
>
> "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept
> in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up
> and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This
> kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming
> water flowing away. It was too much!
>
> "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,'
>
> and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but
> never even got past ten.
>
> Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was
> covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from
> Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys
> inside there."
>
> Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and
> returned to her seat.
>
> I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then,
> when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder,
> just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along.
|
