need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Hello...I am a frequent poster on these boards however I am embarrassed to post this under my real name

I guess you can still call me a newlywed...I've been married almost 2 years. I always thought they said the first couple of years of marriage you “do it” all the time. This is so not true in my case. I feel that my DH hardly ever initiates doing "the nasty". Sure, maybe after a night of drinking with friends he has no problem - but it would be nice if he did it when there was no alcohol involved. Don't get me wrong, if I initiate it he does not turn it down. But you know what?! I am sick and tired of being the aggressor. I said to myself that I am not going to be the one to start things off and that was almost a month ago And now that it’s been so long I feel our relationship is growing stale. I don't know what to do. I am starting to feel unattractive. This is not the first time that i have felt this way. And I have spoken to him in the past and it never goes good. He gets embarrassed then I feel he tries too hard. And that is worse. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just miss that feeling of someone who can’t keep their hands off of you. And I am sick and tired of being the one who has to start things off.

Thanks for listening – I didn’t know where else to go. This is obviously a personal situation and I am too embarrassed to talk to my family or friends about it. Any advice you can give is much appreciated.

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Has this always been a problem in your relationship? Either way, dont blame yourself. My DH and I were always very passionate, but I noticed my sex drive started to diminish. No rhyme or reason. I went to the doc for other reasons and found out I had a very serious health issue. Next time your DH visits the Doc, mention something to him to get a complete physical.

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Thanks. Sorry to hear about your health issue. I hope everything is ok. And yes, I guess now that I look back it was always an issue. I just never had a problem in the past always being the aggressor. I don't think that it is his sex drive. I feel that it is more insecurity on his end. Which makes it hard for me. I guess I just have the blues thats all. I guess I just have to talk to him about it.

Message edited 6/23/2006 11:30:26 AM.

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

no advice, just wanted to offer some

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Posted by MrsERod

no advice, just wanted to offer some

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Posted by MrsERod

no advice, just wanted to offer some

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Being in a relationship that has small yet similar situations, I can understand how you feel.
With us, its the schedules that keeps us not being as intimate as we should.
I also know for woman, we need that..the feeling of being wanted.

I would suggest that ur DH maybe see a doctor. There could be something to help.
Low testosterone levels could be it and very common in men....which in turn, turns his drive extremely down. That could be it and it embarasses a man and his ego

Dont forget to communicate with him about the situation..let him know how you feel and that if there is something you both could do together that would make things better, your support is there.



ETA: sex therapy an option?

Message edited 6/23/2006 11:33:12 AM.

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Posted by Smileyd17

Being in a relationship that has small yet similar situations, I can understand how you feel.
With us, its the schedules that keeps us not being as intimate as we should.
I also know for woman, we need that..the feeling of being wanted.

I would suggest that ur DH maybe see a doctor. There could be something to help.
Low testosterone levels could be it and very common in men....which in turn, turns his drive extremely down. That could be it and it embarasses a man and his ego

Dont forget to communicate with him about the situation..let him know how you feel and that if there is something you both could do together that would make things better, your support is there.



ETA: sex therapy an option?

Message edited 6/23/2006 11:36:15 AM.

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Posted by Smileyd17


ETA: sex therapy an option?

Message edited 6/23/2006 11:43:48 AM.

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Thanks Everyone!! I know I have to talk to him - Just have to find the right time and the right words. Hopefully I'll get some this weekend

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

Don't have any advice just wanted to send

Re: need some libido advice (sorry so long)

I'm sorry you are going through this.. mucho hugs for you