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CupCake05
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 277 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Wrong board, but have to ask....
Do you think that as time passes, some of your family members or even friends just fade away?
I'm asking because some have moved away or chosen other paths, that some of us just don't wish to participate in. Some are with partners that are just basically putting them down and no matter, what they'll see you as the enemy.
Message edited 4/19/2006 1:55:28 PM.
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Posted 4/19/06 1:55 PM  |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
One of my uncles is like that -- he chose to not participate in most family functions, make phone calls, keep in touch etc. He would go months without talking to relatives, including his parents. This has nothing to do with his wife or where he lives.
I wanted to deck him when he said he had regrets 5 minutes AFTER my grandfather's (his father's) funeral. It just doesn't occur to him.
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:00 PM |
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CupCake05
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 277 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
Somehow everything that goes wrong in their life, a different family member is to blame.
This is a person who has sent her immediate family to h*ll and back and then wants everyone to act as if nothing ever happens.
Are we seeing it the wrong way?
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:11 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
I am not exactly following you but I do think people need to take responsibility for choices and actions. Some things are beyond your control, but if it's everything you must be doing something. kwim?
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:15 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
There was a similar post about situatonal friends not too long ago.
Some people will think I am cynical, but I don't believe that most relationships (nearly all friendships, some family relationships) are going to last forever. That is a huge commitment and a long term effort that is almost exclusively found in marriage.
You know that saying that goes, "People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime"? I really believe in it. 
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:17 PM |
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CupCake05
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 277 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
Thank you!
"People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime."
I do believe that. I wish that some relationships wouldn't turn sour. It's just that experiences in life have an effect on you and sometimes we change our ways.
Others don't see to be able to understand that.
ETA: I know my post seems confusing. Sorry.
A lot of things going on in my head and can't sort them out correctly, lol.
Just hope you guys get my drift.
Message edited 4/19/2006 2:29:42 PM.
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:26 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
Absolutely!!
Very sad but about a year after my grandmother passed away (1988) my cousins (college age and early twenties) started to spend more and more time with their SO's families. 80% of my cousins are male and I think it had to do a lot with their wives wanting to spend all holidays with their families. The last time we were all in the room together??? I have no idea because one of my cousins who moved to Wisconsin two years ago decided not to attend my wedding. His wife, after receiving free full time daycare from her MIL and FIL until both of her children were in school full time... isn't that convenient decided my family is screwed up (yes, but a lot less than many other families...lol) and moved away. After she saved tens of thousands in child care... whatever.
I wasn't used to this growing up. My Dad was one of four boys and two of them married women (my mother included) from overseas, one of my other aunts was estranged from her family. Everyone got together for every holiday... heck, I saw them once a week. As one of the youngest grandchildren I have been sad about this for a while.
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:27 PM |
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CupCake05
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 277 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
The thing that really pisses me off, is when you ask someone from their "immediate" family how some one is doing and everything is blown out of proportion. Then the he said, she said begins.
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:30 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
Posted by Nandave05
Somehow everything that goes wrong in their life, a different family member is to blame.
This is a person who has sent her immediate family to h*ll and back and then wants everyone to act as if nothing ever happens.
Are we seeing it the wrong way?
There are some people who just think the world revolves around them, they need to be catered to, nothing is ever good enough and basically they feel like they are entitled and the world owes them EVERYTHING... oh, and they shouldn't have to do anything or have any gratitude.
Yes, there is usually one in every family. Their life is awful (even when it's good) and everyone else in the world is to blame except them
I try to ignore the two or three we have in our family.
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:31 PM |
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CupCake05
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 277 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
We try to ignore them, but somehow they just keep popping back into our lives.
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:34 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
Posted by Nandave05
The thing that really pisses me off, is when you ask someone from their "immediate" family how some one is doing and everything is blown out of proportion. Then the he said, she said begins.
Oh, we have the he said/she said.
Actually, what I think is worse (and this must be an Irish thing) is nothing can be out in the open. For example, my cousin and his wife underwent genetic testing years ago. They found he was a carrier of something. He told his Dad but his Dad (my uncle) had to promise not to tell the rest of the family First, it's not something he should be ashamed of. Second, it could help one of us. So my uncle told my Dad so he could tell my brother and myself but we couldn't tell anyone else Meanwhile everyone else most have known as well but we aren't supposed to know that each other knows... CRAZY.
The same thing was done when my cousin got married... first one not in a church. I found out TEN YEARS later that she was married once before but didn't want anyone in the family to know. My cousin told my brother who then told me. But I'm not supposed to know that "J" was once married... whatever, she's divorced, she didn't kill someone.
I think I was supposed to be Italian. I like how my friend's family does it. Sunday dinner, one person says something, everyone starts screaming, yelling... after 5 minutes it's all over but everything is out on the table... no secrets. Everyone gets it off their chest, they kiss, makeup and it's more wine for everyone
Message edited 4/19/2006 2:40:12 PM.
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:37 PM |
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CupCake05
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 277 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
Please, these people are way too complicated. Remember, the world revolves around them. God forbid someone has something else going on in their life.
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| Posted 4/19/06 2:56 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Wrong board, but have to ask....
Posted by Nandave05
Do you think that as time passes, some of your family members or even friends just fade away?
I'm asking because some have moved away or chosen other paths, that some of us just don't wish to participate in. Some are with partners that are just basically putting them down and no matter, what they'll see you as the enemy.
sadly yes
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| Posted 4/19/06 5:21 PM |
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