repost from Parenting...Do any of you have no

family within an 1 hour from where you live?

I currently live in Westchester and my family lives in LI and my DH's family lives upstate (both are about 1 - 1.5 hours away just in different directions.) We are TTC our first and my mom keeps telling me that I'm going to need to live closer to family, that we can't do it alone. She said it would be easier to live near her, my brother/SIL, my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. so that if anything was wrong, or I needed help someone was could be there. (and I miss my family so much) My DH won't even consider LI (traffic, 3 hours from his family, etc.) and I can't live upstate.

We are in the process of looking for a new house (we were thinking Putnam another 20 minutes away from LI) After talking to my mom I'm so confused!! She made it seem like for her to drive another 20 minutes was a big deal, since it was already far and she is getting older. (She wouldn't be able to help us with daycare, just babysitting)

What would you do?

Re: repost from Parenting...Do any of you have no

DH and I actually moved up to Putnam last spring. My family is on LI and his is in PA, so we are completely on our own. We don't even really have any friends here yet.

My mom did make one comment about the fact that she's not close enough to help. If she did I would have reminded her that my nana (my dad's mom) came to this country with only her sister. During WWII she was left with a toddler and a brand new baby (my dad) and had no one to help her. She managed.

The bottom line is that you and your DH will be able to do it, because what are your choices? To be honest, I never like relying on relatives and I don't want to start now anyway.

ETA: Daycare is a given, but luckily DH does have a co-worker with a teenaged daughter, so when we do feel comfortable enough to go out she will sit for us.

Message edited 1/25/2006 11:09:19 AM.

Re: repost from Parenting...Do any of you have no

Thanks!!!

MY Dh has friends here but I don't. I think that makes it harder when he goes out and I don't really have much to do.

If you don't mind me asking where in Putnam do you live? Do you like it?

Re: repost from Parenting...Do any of you have no

I'm 4 hours away from my parents and DH's family is about an hour or so away (but they are ALWAYS around!!)

I'm a little nervous about being away from my mom for the pregnancy and initial couple of weeks, so I've been looking into getting a Doula to help out when I do get pregnant and for the delivery.

I know my parents will drop everything to be with me when I do go into labor, but just in case it happens quick or there is a problem, I'll have DH and a doula.

And after that, well, I'm hoping they are stock-piling vacation time!!

It's hard to be here (NJ) when all our family and friends are in LI or further, but we make due.

Re: repost from Parenting...Do any of you have no

Re: repost from Parenting...Do any of you have no

We live in NJ...my family is all on LI (Suffolk) and DH's parents are in Florida and his sister is up near Albany (about 3 hours). We have my step-daughter who is 9 living with us..and yes, it's a PITA when she has days off from school or she is sick or we just want to go out alone...but we manage. There have been many times where my sister will meet me 1/2 way (queens or nassau somewhere) and pick her up or something. I wish we did live closer to family...but right now, it's not an option so when a baby comes into the picture, we will manage because we have to.

Re: repost from Parenting...Do any of you have no

We live about 45 minutes - 1hr form both set of parents. That was one of the stipulations for us for buying a house (that it had to be within 1 hour from both parents). I am not saying this is for everyone! My sister and her family live in the same town as my parents so that isn't an issue either.
We also have a guest room though so either parents can stay over as needed or desired. I can't see my MIL staying over as my FIL has MS so she needs to be there for him. He can't help with the baby (for the same reason). They are also in Florida from January - March. It is more about them coming over to visit and not haveing to travel too far.
My parents would come over every day if I asked them to (and they did while we were moving in!!). Before my sister went back to work, she was coming over also to help out with stuff (like getting the carpets cleaned, accepting deliveries, etc).
It really is just what you would feel comfortable with. Are you close with your family? Do you go out with them often enough? We wanted to be close enough that it also wouldn't be a hassle if we wanted to go out to dinner together.

Re: repost from Parenting...Do any of you have no

I have an aunt who lives a mile away, and a sister 30 min away, but NO parents. they are both deceased, so when I get preg and have a baby it is going to be rough on us.

Re: repost from Parenting...Do any of you have no

Thanks ladies I feel so much better!!!