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I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

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btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

For some reason today I started thinking/freaking out about going back to work (even if it's less than the 35 hrs I WAS doing). I am terrified that I won't be able to handle it, that Alyson won't be able to adjust to coming to work with me, and I won't be able to run my household (yes....I pretty much run this house). I'm not a perfect housekeepr right now since we're still adjustiong, but I AM enjoying being home with the baby.


I voiced my concern to DH and he instantly said "then stay home and I'll get a 2nd job"...no hesitation and without malice. Now, the thing is he recently decided to pursue going back to school and getting re-certified as an EMT (no one knows about it yet) so that he can better provide for us and so he can feel like he's helping people.

I can't help but feel like I'm not being fair to him if I stay home because the program is 1 year long.

Anyone have opinions? Anyone elses' DH work 2 jobs so they can stay home.

Posted 1/31/06 9:52 PM
 
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CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

What about doing something from home so you can stay home and he can go to school?

My dad lives down by you and his wife does Mary Kay. She does it part time for over 10 years now and makes about $30k. She has a few sales people under her now since she's been in it so long, but still, it might help.

Posted 1/31/06 10:00 PM
 

btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

Posted by sarahsmommy

What about doing something from home so you can stay home and he can go to school?

My dad lives down by you and his wife does Mary Kay. She does it part time for over 10 years now and makes about $30k. She has a few sales people under her now since she's been in it so long, but still, it might help.



I'm not one for public speaking/selling/being the center of attention as is required to do the parties....Chat Icon

I make my own greeting cards but have not found the means to sell them and make money on them

Posted 1/31/06 10:02 PM
 

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

Posted by btrflygrl

Posted by sarahsmommy

What about doing something from home so you can stay home and he can go to school?

My dad lives down by you and his wife does Mary Kay. She does it part time for over 10 years now and makes about $30k. She has a few sales people under her now since she's been in it so long, but still, it might help.



I'm not one for public speaking/selling/being the center of attention as is required to do the parties....Chat Icon

I make my own greeting cards but have not found the means to sell them and make money on them



I hear ya. That's why I'm not doing it, in spite of her offering to help me.

Are there any ritzy shopping malls or centers near you? Sometimes the "fancy" stationary stores will buy them from you since they like to offer unique handmade stuff that they can totally overcharge for.

Oh, and if you can get used baby clothes at thrift shops that are in really good condition, they sell well on ebay. Especially stuff from Gymboree. They pretty much sell for what they originally did, there are people who are Gymbo fanatics.

Posted 1/31/06 10:05 PM
 

btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

Thanks Cathy....I was working in a consignment store and when the stuff expires, many times I take it home and sell it on Ebay instead of the owner donating it (or I save it for Alyson!). We also started keeping the name brand stuff and sell it at my churchs' consignment sale. She lets me keep 50% of the money since I do all the work.

I COULD go shop around at the thrift stores/Goodwills for more stuff to sell but that takes some $ to invest which sometimes I just don't have. Lately we do so maybe I can get out there.

A friend of mine does crafts at the shows and I told her I'd love to do it with her, but she never tells me when she's doing it and now with the baby, it'd be hard to sit there all day in a booth.

Posted 1/31/06 10:09 PM
 

neenie

Member since 5/05

22351 total posts

Name:

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

can you go back to work PT for a little while to help adjust??

Posted 1/31/06 10:12 PM
 

Moehick
Ready for the sun!

Member since 5/05

30339 total posts

Name:
Properly perfect™

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

I think so that your DH can concentrate on his job and schooling for one year it would be helpful for you to go back to work for at least a year. You are lucky in the fact that you can bring your daughter to work with you.

Posted 1/31/06 10:18 PM
 

btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

Posted by neeniebean86

can you go back to work PT for a little while to help adjust??



I was thinking of just doing less hrs.

Posted 1/31/06 10:20 PM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

I say try it out and if you find it isn't working its great to know that DH is willing to get a second job for you to stay home with Aly.

Aly might surprise you. Miranda does far better out of the house around people and other things than she does the days we stay home all day.

Posted 1/31/06 10:22 PM
 

emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!

Member since 5/05

4457 total posts

Name:
Mama

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

I would say p/t is a good option. I think if he works 2 jobs there will be other issues for you to deal with, like not feeling as if you have any family time, which is very important a this time, and your hubby may be more irritable and you may be bored at times. I love having time for work so that I can contribute to the household income and advance in my profession, but I also have plenty of time with the kids. My hubby was going ot get a 2nd job but I just couldn't do that to him, when would he enjoy our family then?

Posted 1/31/06 10:26 PM
 

stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

Before we started ttc we came to the agreement that I would be a sahm. DH makes a very good salary that is used for all the bills and for savings, my salary was used for household expenses/pocket money. After the baby was born DH got his real estate license. Its something he does p/t and brings in $2000-$4000 a month (although doing it part time, its not consistant check). Maybe you should look into real estate. You really dont have to speak in front of large groups of people, you work around your schedule.

Posted 1/31/06 10:29 PM
 

MelToddJulia
Love my Family!

Member since 7/05

29064 total posts

Name:
Mel

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

Posted by stayandjohn

Before we started ttc we came to the agreement that I would be a sahm. DH makes a very good salary that is used for all the bills and for savings, my salary was used for household expenses/pocket money. After the baby was born DH got his real estate license. Its something he does p/t and brings in $2000-$4000 a month (although doing it part time, its not consistant check). Maybe you should look into real estate. You really dont have to speak in front of large groups of people, you work around your schedule.





I agree, My father owns his own realistate agency for like 35 years now, and my mom works for him as well, I must say its a great business to get into, you make your own hrs and schedule. Its a great job for a SAHM who needs to bring in some extra money.

Posted 1/31/06 10:52 PM
 

ddunne2
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

4189 total posts

Name:
Doreen

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

Posted by meltodd604

Posted by stayandjohn

Before we started ttc we came to the agreement that I would be a sahm. DH makes a very good salary that is used for all the bills and for savings, my salary was used for household expenses/pocket money. After the baby was born DH got his real estate license. Its something he does p/t and brings in $2000-$4000 a month (although doing it part time, its not consistant check). Maybe you should look into real estate. You really dont have to speak in front of large groups of people, you work around your schedule.





I agree, My father owns his own realistate agency for like 35 years now, and my mom works for him as well, I must say its a great business to get into, you make your own hrs and schedule. Its a great job for a SAHM who needs to bring in some extra money.



If my work from home job opportunity diddn't fall into my lap like it did, I had started looking into real estate.

Posted 2/1/06 8:34 AM
 

BabyAvocado
Happy New Year

Member since 5/05

17334 total posts

Name:

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

What about in-home child care? You can watch someone else's baby/child in your home, or go to theirs with your baby. If you work in their home you can charge more and it gets you and the baby out of the house. But if you stay home, you also get the benefit of running your household. There are pros to both sides and it's really good money and practice, plus Alyson gets to socialize a bit too.

Posted 2/1/06 8:53 AM
 

anon
where's winter?

Member since 11/05

2209 total posts

Name:

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

Message edited 2/8/2007 11:07:42 AM.

Posted 2/1/06 9:19 AM
 

paulandles912
My children are a blessing!

Member since 5/05

2598 total posts

Name:
Leslie

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

Posted by ddunne2

Posted by meltodd604

Posted by stayandjohn

Before we started ttc we came to the agreement that I would be a sahm. DH makes a very good salary that is used for all the bills and for savings, my salary was used for household expenses/pocket money. After the baby was born DH got his real estate license. Its something he does p/t and brings in $2000-$4000 a month (although doing it part time, its not consistant check). Maybe you should look into real estate. You really dont have to speak in front of large groups of people, you work around your schedule.





I agree, My father owns his own realistate agency for like 35 years now, and my mom works for him as well, I must say its a great business to get into, you make your own hrs and schedule. Its a great job for a SAHM who needs to bring in some extra money.



If my work from home job opportunity diddn't fall into my lap like it did, I had started looking into real estate.



Being a real estate broker allowed DH to be a SAHD for many months. But now Andrew is in day care 3 days a week and it frees DH up to go into the office and do more work. I agree that it is a very flexible field to get into.

Posted 2/1/06 10:18 AM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

I can't offer advice about what I do, but my dad worked 2 jobs for as long as I could remember when I was a kid, so my mom could stay home. He worked his butt off so that we could go to Catholic school and live in our home, with our mom home to take care of us. Even as a child, I realized the sacrifices my parents made for us and appreciated it. And he still found time to coach soccer, was a scout leader for one or two years, and came to as many of our games and school things as he could. I think if your DH is willing to do it and is not resentful about it, why not let him do it?

If that would interfere with his school program, then I would agree with another poster - let him finish the program and you can work PT until that is over. If the certification will make your financial status better in future years, it is a good investment of his time now.

Posted 2/1/06 10:21 AM
 

andri
LIF Infant

Member since 11/05

241 total posts

Name:

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

I'm not sure where you live but from the other poster,I'm assuming its down south. My cousin is a SAHM and earns great $$ processing mortgage paperwork for a bank from home. I'm not too sure of the details but I know she basically inputs all the details & thats-that. Being that your parents are in the field,you could have a load of referrals or at least ask around to find out what this involves. Sorry I was so vague.I do know that no particular degree is required because she taught her SIL to do it too(also a SAHM)
Good Luck.

Posted 2/1/06 11:33 AM
 

momAGAIN
so outrageous

Member since 7/05

3853 total posts

Name:
TJ

Re: I need some opinions regarding SAHM vs. going back to work

I was a full time woking mom until moving to Long Island last year. It was very hard. I felt like with my hours (10-6) I never saw my kids I would get home cook dinner do homework and it was bed time. After i had my daughter last year FH said stay home ...with the cost of childcare here it just didnt make sense to go to work to pay for daycare. It was a big adjustment for all of us! FH works 3 jobs I feel really guilty sometimes but he said its worth it to have me stay home and know our daughter is properly cared for etc. I make up for it by always making sure the house is clean , he always has dinner made....i guess its works out! I do know as a former working mom I am so glad i was given the chance to stay home and watch my daughter grow completley i feel i missed so much with my other kids. Good luck what ever you decide! Chat Icon

Posted 2/1/06 11:49 AM
 
 

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For Those Who Work Part Time & SAHM LadyMaravilla 7/20/06 13 Parenting
Looking for opinions from both SAHM and working moms.... btrflygrl 8/14/06 7 Parenting
 
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