For Those Who Live Away From Family

Dh and I are planning to move to Virginia next year because we will be buying a house there. My daughter are my parents are very close and it's just something that will difficult on all of us. Last night I broke down and cried my eyes out. If any of you out there moved away from your parents or immediate family I want to know how you dealt with it? And what you recommend to make things easier? My parents know that it's best for us to move but it's going to be very tough on me. I need advice.

Re: For Those Who Live Away From Family

I know how you feel. My younger brother (15) and my mom are moving to AZ. (I don't have a good relationship with Mom, so I won't miss her). He is leaving July 15th. My sister is leaving for college in September, Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. All of this right before my wedding. The three of us are really close and have never been so far from eachother.

I don't have any answers on how to make it easier, I just wanted you to know you weren't the only one.

Re: For Those Who Live Away From Family

My mom and younger brother actually moved away from me, 4 hours (by car). It was very difficult at first knowing that I couldn't just run over to see them but after a while it got easier. E-mail and cell phones have made it much easier to stay in touch and we've come to realize that we can still just hop in the car it just will take longer to get there.

It will get easier as you settle into your new life and make friends. Just remember they're only a phone call away!!

Re: For Those Who Live Away From Family

I grew up in Ronkonkoma and now I live in Boston, which is about 4.5 hours away from my family.

I was definitely very hard being away from my family at first, particularly when I was new to the area and did not have many friends. But it has definitely gotten easier. As I made new friends at work and got to know the area a bit more, it became easier.

Also, I talk to my mom almost every day on the phone and there is always email too. She comes up to visit me every 3 months or so and I come back to LI to visit her too. I like to think that the distance only makes me appreciate her more.

I definitely miss being able to run over whenever I feel like it or just being able to spend an unplanned day with her. But I guess what I am trying to say is that is gets much easier as time goes on. I know this sounds cliche, but it is the quality of time spent with her, not the quantity.

Re: For Those Who Live Away From Family

Oh guys thanks so much for the advice. I just couldn't help it last night. We all had dinner and it was just so nice and then I couldn't help but think about it. Then DH said the stupidest thing " It's not the end of the world". I swear to you guys I wanted to punch him in the face. Meanwhile In-laws moved to Virgina last year and he kind of went through it. I was sympathetic to his needs. I was fuming!

Is it because women are closer to their parents than guys?

Re: For Those Who Live Away From Family

I moved to Chicago after undergrad and have been here for 6 years. It's been hard at times, but I met DH here and that helped. It helps to talk to my mom on the phone and I try to go home whenever there's a airfare sale.

I think the hardest is yet to come.... My first child is due any day now and it's really hard to not have my mother here with me. She'll be here for the 1st two weeks but I hate that she won't be around him as often like I was with my grandparents.

The good thing is that your child has a great foundation with your parents so just foster that. Get them to email and send pictures to each other (if old enough). Encourage visits, VA is not that far from NY.

Re: For Those Who Live Away From Family

I know exactly how you are feeling!!

I've been living in NY since 1999. My family lives in TX. I'm miss them dearly! I am so sad that they are so far. MY DH works for the airlines and he tried to put in a bid for Houston (he did it for me) but, other employees with higher senority got it. He will try again in 2 months. He just recently got hired so at least now I will get to visit my family more often with the flight benefits.

In perspective for you, you can still drive out to VA. You can make a road trip out of it. Or you could look for Airline specials and get there in about 1 hour. If my parents lived in VA, I would drive down at least once every two months.

Re: For Those Who Live Away From Family

i know exactly how you feel. my family is living in hicksville and i live in florida. it was very hard for me to move away. i was 20 at the time i moved. all my family is there. it was hard to deal with. i wont lie about that. there were many long nights of crying and just mopeing around. the best thing to think about it is its just a flight or a drive away. talking on the phone and writing helped also.

Re: For Those Who Live Away From Family

Ok, just did that about mid April this year! it was hard, but my parent knew that we could not make it on Long Island and so did his mom. We left behind my nephews that I am very close to which kills me!

I cried alot, but deep down in my soul I knew that this is the right thing for my family ( dh and I). So did my extended family. It is not easy leaving everything. We are ok for now, but I am sure it will be tough at some point we will break down. My parents already decided they are going to move down once they retire. They want to buy a retirement home here now (Georgia).

As for DH mom, dh is also interested in moving here too.

If you have a computer, try hooking up a video camera so you can video message each other. We do that with DH mom and it is alot of fun and we get to see each other often that way. Also takes the edge off not seeing each other.

Re: For Those Who Live Away From Family

My parents live on Long Island and I moved to London three days after our wedding to be with DH. It is really, really hard for me. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that we will move back to NY eventually.

the only thing I can suggest is frequent visits. 4 hours is not that bad - you could even both drive halfway to spend a day together :)