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adviceplease
LIF Infant
Member since 2/06 136 total posts
Name:
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I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
How many of you have been involved in a relationship that involved an incident, or more, of cheating and have worked through it?
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Posted 5/15/06 10:15 PM  |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
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| Posted 5/15/06 10:19 PM |
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JodiBabe
Married for 9 yrs!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6672 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by Shorty
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
Ditto! - Once a cheater always a cheater! 
Message edited 5/15/2006 10:27:13 PM.
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| Posted 5/15/06 10:26 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by Shorty
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
Here too. I don't think I could work through that.  I did cheat on my boyfriend in college, and that just showed me that I never really loved him to begin with. I would never do that to someone I love, and I expect the same of DH.
Message edited 5/15/2006 10:49:27 PM.
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| Posted 5/15/06 10:48 PM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
I think I would try to work it out if it were a one shot deal, but if it were an affair, I don't think I could.
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| Posted 5/15/06 10:57 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Adviceplease...From what I've seen all my life - I think you NEVER really know the answer to this question until you find yourself there. I have many friends and family members who you NEVER in a million years would have thought would stay after even a full blown affair and they did. I can't say that I completely understand it but I now say never say never.
I also think that this question is not black and white. I think it depends a lot on the particular situation - was the cheating while you were married or years before? If while you were married was it physical or online? Was it a drunken kiss or something prolonged and full blown s#@? I'm not sure that it would make a difference to me. Honestly, I'm one of those that usually says - he cheats - I walk. But, at the same time, I recognize that no one knows until you walk in the shoes...
I also want to say, I've seen your last few posts...and I'm so sorry for you...stay strong!!!! Is he as committed as you to working it out?
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| Posted 5/16/06 11:42 AM |
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adviceplease
LIF Infant
Member since 2/06 136 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
BUMP
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| Posted 5/17/06 7:57 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
MY ex husband(need I say more) but seriously he cheated on me we tried to work it out but the trust was gone and our relationship was never the same
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| Posted 5/17/06 7:59 PM |
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adviceplease
LIF Infant
Member since 2/06 136 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Was it a one time thing that he did?
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| Posted 5/17/06 8:00 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by Shorty
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
I agree
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| Posted 5/17/06 8:07 PM |
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JennChris
life moves fast
Member since 5/05 4225 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by Shorty
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
I agree.. my Ex-husband was a cheater... amongst other things
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| Posted 5/17/06 8:08 PM |
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adviceplease
LIF Infant
Member since 2/06 136 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Shorty
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
I agree
Even if it was just one time? Just curious.
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| Posted 5/17/06 8:08 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by adviceplease
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Shorty
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
I agree
Even if it was just one time? Just curious.
if my husband cheated on me the trust would be gone forever. I wouldn't stop loving him, but I could never forgive that. we've discussed this and he feels the same.
I have an opinion about why people cheat. but I don't want to get flamed, so I'll keep it to myself.
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| Posted 5/17/06 8:10 PM |
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
That is something I could never forgive
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| Posted 5/17/06 8:11 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
I'll say that I would be able to forgive depending on the circumstance.
Like someone mentioned, I don't think you know until you're there. People lay down the law in their relationships & need to rewrite it many times during a marriage (not just talking affairs).
If you're posting for answers on your situation, I have to say that the only answer you're going to find is in your heart. If you want to stay, work on it. If not, be honest with yourself. I know it's not so cut & dry sometimes but looking at everyone else's relationship isn't going to help much since no one has been in your exact shoes (even if their DH had an affair)
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| Posted 5/17/06 8:12 PM |
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adviceplease
LIF Infant
Member since 2/06 136 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by adviceplease
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Shorty
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
I agree
Even if it was just one time? Just curious.
if my husband cheated on me the trust would be gone forever. I wouldn't stop loving him, but I could never forgive that. we've discussed this and he feels the same.
I have an opinion about why people cheat. but I don't want to get flamed, so I'll keep it to myself.
Well, FM me!
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| Posted 5/17/06 8:32 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by adviceplease
Was it a one time thing that he did?
so i thought!  NOPE! after the fact found out it was going on alot! BUT the time He actually told me about.......the girl had twins!  . He was a complete loser...I guess what hurt the most is that I NEVER would do soemthing like that to him .....and the thought of him having sex with somebody UNPROTECTED NO LESS!!!!!!!!!! made me furious
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| Posted 5/17/06 9:00 PM |
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JennChris
life moves fast
Member since 5/05 4225 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by adviceplease
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Shorty
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
I agree
Even if it was just one time? Just curious.
No it happened quite often.....
I know that my DH would never cheat on me as I would never cheat on him, but for me it is just and unforgiveable offense and the trust is gone, when the trust is gone then there is nothing... that's just me.
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| Posted 5/17/06 9:13 PM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
I agree with an earlier posted. I have seen people forgive cheating that I never thought would have stood for it. I think it would be a deal breaker for me, I would be heartbroken --- however, in life, I have found that you never know how you will react until you personally are in that situation.
Don't worry about what others think or compare yourself to others. Whether or not you can forgive your husband's actions is a very personal choice that you must make based on what you feel in your heart. Only you know what is right for you, and no one can or should influence you or criticize what you decide to do, either way.
Lots of
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| Posted 5/17/06 10:34 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
I hope all these questions you have had are all not about you. I am sorry if that comes off rude. It seems like you have many problems with your sig other and maybe you both should get some couples counseling.
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| Posted 5/17/06 10:36 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
 I don't think there's such a thing as a "one time thing"...I also believe in that "once a cheater" thing. Sorry you are going through this!! Like Daniela said, don't make life decisions based on the responses of others...it's YOU that has to live YOUR life! 
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| Posted 5/17/06 10:38 PM |
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MelissaG
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/05 426 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by Shorty
I'm sorry, cheating is the one exception to my "forever and ever always no matter what."
Ditto! If it came to the thought of even WANTING to do that, there is a big problem!
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| Posted 5/17/06 11:08 PM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
Posted by nrthshgrl
If you're posting for answers on your situation, I have to say that the only answer you're going to find is in your heart. If you want to stay, work on it. If not, be honest with yourself. I know it's not so cut & dry sometimes but looking at everyone else's relationship isn't going to help much since no one has been in your exact shoes (even if their DH had an affair)
i agree
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| Posted 5/17/06 11:11 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm on fire tonight. You can tell I'm all over the place...
i just got out of a relationship with a cheater. found out in nov something suspicious was going on and left him... he begged for another chance... after flowers and showing up at my door in tears I forgave him... But i could NEVER trust him again- things were NEVER the same... always had a gut feeling things werent right. My instincts were correct- found out in April he never stopped.... needless to say we are no longer together.
now granted he was just a bf but I was married. We didnt break up because of infidelity but if he did cheat on me, I dont think ME personally would EVER be able to get over it!!!!
Good Luck
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| Posted 5/18/06 7:38 AM |
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