I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

and he huffed and puffed and suggested that I go out to my parents and my mom can help me

I get up every night with him and I sleep in a separate room so DH can sleep. I am exhausted and need a break.

I asked DH last week and he told me no.

I am so angry and upset

He does help out a lot when he gets home but I need some sleep too. His excuse is that he has to go to work.

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

Posted by 5ofClubs

and he huffed and puffed and suggested that I go out to my parents and my mom can help me

I get up every night with him and I sleep in a separate room so DH can sleep. I am exhausted and need a break.

I asked DH last week and he told me no.

I am so angry and upset

He does help out a lot when he gets home but I need some sleep too. His excuse is that he has to go to work.

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

Maybe you can work out a schedule on the weekends when he is off. I know it can be very frustrating when you are up all hours of the night w/ baby and DH is away. Sometimes I used to make "noise" and he would wake up Oh was I too loud?

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

Husbands are so stupid sometimes!!!

Hopefully in time he will start to help more. Right now my Dh takes saturday mornings so I can sleep in, and even though I only sleep till about 7:30 it's still better then 5:30!!

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

MY DS is almost 9 mos old and his daddy hasn't gotten up with him ONCE weekday OR weekend. Don't worry - the weariness of sleep deprivation only lasts a few months - then your body learns to live on no sleep

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

SON OF A MONKEY! HOW DARE HE!!! Umm...he created the child....

don't feel guilty....you know what you do...STOP doing everything else in the house because you're tired. Sleep when Andrew sleeps if you are still home with him. I let EVERYTHING else go in those first months because I was SO tired and she would not sleep and was eating every 2 1/2 hrs....I literally had NO time to do anything else but care for her and sleep.

I felt guilty asking DH to wake up even when she just fussed for her paci....

but it got so overwhelming that I hd no choice but to ask him for help. I tend to try to be a martyr....SO not working as a sleep deprived mother! A lot of crying helped too.

When he goes in late for the closing shift, he'll go in to see if she fusses, he ALWAYS gets her bottle in the wee hours and I feed her. On days off, I'll ask him to watch/play with her so I can cook/clean.....I just need a break from her! Being with her 24/7 is SO exhausting. And he thinks he's getting the easy deal by watching her!!!

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

DH was pressing me to pump in the beginning that way he could help. Well it was a waste. He gave him maybe a few bottles in the beginning but not worth my pumping time that was for sure. I didn't lift one finger around the house either. My new job was to for the baby and he had to deal with a messy house. Finally I was getting tired of the house looking like a mess so DH watched him one saturday all morning and afternoon and I cleaned. He did cook though every night or get take out and made sure I ate and drank because he knew it was important for me if I was breastfeeding. He dididnt even hear the baby cry at night and he would scream sometimes. In the beginning it is hard when I wanted time to myself I would give him the baby and tell him I was going somplace. I started out by being gone for 45 min. then it went longer, I can now go out for probably 3 hours and he is ok with him.

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

Kick him in the arse!! No really, I never asked DH to help out on weekdays because after all, he was working. But, Alex was colic, and hardly ever slept, and I was running on empty, so eventually we worked out a system where he would come home and watch her from 5pm-11pm while I slept. If he didn't do that, some days he would watch her from 6am-8am while I slept and then head to work. And ALWAYS on the weekends he woud take one night so I could catch up on sleep. This is as much his responsibility as it is yours, and though he works during the day, so do you, and your job is just as, if not more exhausting.

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

Posted by Bxgell2

Kick him in the arse!! No really, I never asked DH to help out on weekdays because after all, he was working. But, Alex was colic, and hardly ever slept, and I was running on empty, so eventually we worked out a system where he would come home and watch her from 5pm-11pm while I slept. If he didn't do that, some days he would watch her from 6am-8am while I slept and then head to work. And ALWAYS on the weekends he woud take one night so I could catch up on sleep. This is as much his responsibility as it is yours, and though he works during the day, so do you, and your job is just as, if not more exhausting.

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

Message edited 2/8/2007 12:26:43 PM.

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

Ahhh...sounds familiar...

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

be careful relying on your Mom. My friend who has the twins had her Mom ther since day 1 and now her husband thinks it's ok to ket Grandma handle everything. This pooor woman is over every day from 9-6 and her DH works from home!

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

The whole thing that gets me about these husbands saying they are too tired since they go to work all day is that they have no idea that their "work day" is a heck of a lot easier than a SAHM's work day. Maybe for some who work in hard manual labor that is not true, but for those with white collar husbands...DON"T FOR ONE MINUTE LET THAT CRAP HAPPEN! Remind him that he has a guarenteed lunch hour that may also allow him to go out to eat with other ADULTS and have adult conversation. He also has a guarenteed shower everyday, time during his commute to listen to sports radio at his convenience, and oh, don't forget those horrible mandatory after hours dinner meetings. Sorry to be so sarcastic, but it just really gets under my skin when I hear stories like this.

If I was you I would stop cooking dinner, doing laundry, cleaning the house, paying the bills, doing the grocery shopping, etc and take that time for yourself during the day to rest up.

From the start I made sure that Mike was involved. And you can't just make a general statement like "I wish you would help out more>" You need to be specific "I wish you would give the baby her bath, I wish you would wash the bottles in the sink, I wish you would theow in a load of laundry." That is the best approach.

To this day, Mike comes home from work and I finish cooking dinner, he plays with Jack, gives him his bath, reads to him and puts him to bed. And I can have an hour of peace for myself.

Message edited 6/16/2006 1:01:46 PM.

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

They are all alike. My Dh used to say that he will wake up but them he never "heard" Sara cry. I used to end up yelling at him I was so tired. His excuse was that He works and I dont. Thankfully this was only for 8 weeks but it was the longest 8 weeks ever

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

I really don't know what to say. I am sorry your DH isn't understanding that you need some rest.

Re: I asked DH if he could stay up tomorrow night with the baby...

I am sorry! MEN!