Opinions needed - IL related (long)

DH took DD upstate yesterday to his sister's house for the weekend because there was a family birthday party and I work weekends but he wanted to go to the pary, which is fine. So, I packed all the things Marron would need for the weekend and wrote out instructions on her eating and sleeping habits/schedule so that MIL and SIL would not feel like they were in the dark with her and also because when DH takes care of her while I am working, I still have to tell him how and when to do everything with her.

So, last night I called him around 7:30 to ask how everything was going and he said fine. I asked if they gave her her cereal yet and he said no. I asked why and he said that everybody is just playing with her and they haven't gotten around to it yet. That is all fine and dandy, but I explained (in my instructions) that she needs to get the cereal about an hour before her last bottle (which is around 8) or else she is too hungry and too tired to want to eat the cereal. I asked him if he even read what I wrote and he said that he didn't get around to it yet!!! Hello -- why did I even bother??? You asked me to give you explicit instructions, which I did and then you don't even look at them???

So, I again explained why she needs to have the cereal before she is actually hungry for that last bottle. (We are still trying to get her used to eating, and many days she still just doesn't get it or is not interested in it, which I've told him is fine but that she needs to at least have it offered to her every day).

I called back around 9pm and asked how things were. Again he said fine. I asked about the cereal and he said that yes she ate it but "Mom and Tara had to force feed it to her". I asked what that meant and he said that she was crying alot while they were trying to feed it to her so they would stick a spoonful into her mouth while she was crying and then shove the bottle in to make her swallow!!!!!!! ***!!! What is wrong with these people??? Don't they think that is a little bit cruel to do to a 5 month old baby??? I mean, when she is visibly upset, to keep teasing her but putting her bottle in and out of her mouth and forcing her to eat from a spoon when she is crying and upset is just plain mean! And the worst part is that I can see them laughing and thinking it is funny while they were doing it!!!!!

My other issue with this whole thing is that my MIL seems to have this obsession with making kids eat everything that is on their plates and I've told DH several times in the past that she better not do that to my children. I've explained that I believe that kids, like adults, have days when they are more hungry than others and that they should be allowed to decide when they have had enough to eat, and that if adults force them to eat more than they want to, that they start to lose their inborn ability to stop eating when their brains tell them that they have had enough and that this can lead to being overweight because they learn to keep eating until they are stuffed and feeling uncomfortable. I've been telling him since birth that when she is done eating, she will let you know and you don't have to force her to eat more than that and so far it has worked fine. He has also seen, in the past few weeks since we've been giving her cereal, that if she gets frustrated or upset after only a few bites or if she is too upset to eat it that we don't make her eat it. So why would he let his mother and sister do this to her??? I mean she is barely 5 months old and obviously her nutrition is not coming from the 1 tablespoon of cereal that she gets in the evening. She is still learning and getting used to eating and if she doesn't want it one night, that is fine. He should know that!!!

I am so upset and sad for my little baby right now. What he doesn't understand is that he has taken my baby to visit his family without me for the last time! I know exactly what happened -- he was too busy having a good time with BIL to be taking care of his daughter, and he just sort of handed her over to his mother and sister.

To top it all off, it is now past 6:30 and he has not even called all day to tell me how she is doing. I guess I have to call now to get today's report.

I kind of feel like I am overreacting, but something about what they did just upsets me and I'm looking for opinions from other mommies on the situation.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Re: Opinions needed - IL related (long)

Message edited 2/8/2007 7:43:37 PM.

Re: Opinions needed - IL related (long)

Did you really expect men to follow directions??? Come on...

Please I'm always telling my mom to never rock DS to sleep in your arms because once you put him down he wakes up but she never listens or learns...but who am I to say anything besides the boy's mother. She gets so touchy too when I tell her things she shouldn't be doing with the baby not to criticize but to help her understand how DS is. Instead she takes it as if i'm saying "you don't know what you are doing"...so she'll always say "don't tell me how to handle a baby, I raised two kids of my own and babysat my sister's kids as well"...she's so touchy...



It's so hard to get other people to follow your directions.

Message edited 9/23/2006 7:20:22 PM.