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I know I sound like a total brat but...

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nferrandi
too excited for words

Member since 10/05

18538 total posts

Name:
Nicole

I know I sound like a total brat but...

I can't help but be a little upset. Actually, I don't think upset is the right word, but I'm not sure what is.
Anyway, needless to say, I'm super excited about having a baby. And not for nothing, but I like being the center of attention. So we're at my MIL's for dinner yesterday and she says, "it's supposed to be a secret, but Claudio and Evelyn are pregnant too." That's DH's uncle and his wife who I know have been struggling to get pregnant for a while. Not only are they pregnant, but the due date is the day before mine.
So I know it sounds childish and selfish, but I'm a little "insert word here" about the whole thing. I'm honestly thrilled that they're pregnant, but it kind of makes the whole thing seem a little less exciting. I feel like DH's family isn't going to be as excited for us as they were, and I feel like people may feel like it's all a little overkill- we'll have baby showers right around the same time, we'll give birth right around the same time (possibly even the same day), and now my baby will forever be sharing his/her b-day with their cousin.
Also, in a God forbid situation, it could be very painful. If either of us were to lose our baby, we would always look at the other baby like "that should have been ours." Every birthday would be a painful reminder of what could have been.
I'm sure I'm overthinking the whole thing and making a bigger deal of it than neccessary, but I can't help it, that's just how I feel.

Posted 3/3/06 2:57 PM
 
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LuvMy2Girls
@>---------

Member since 5/05

11165 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: I know I sound like a total brat but...

Chat Icon Chat Icon How you feel, is how you feelChat Icon I am sure DH's family won't be less excited for you, you are having a baby, and that within itself is a blessing. IF they dont' appreciate that, it doesn't matter, what matters is you and dh and the new "team" you are making.

I think pg hormones are playing a big role in thisChat Icon Try to not to read into things and take it one day at a time. Try to look at thepositive side of it, your baby will have someone the same age to grow up with and that's just wonderfulChat Icon even though it may be hard to see that nowChat Icon Chat Icon

ETA: I have felt from day 1 that my pg was interfering with DH's sister's wedding, I am MOH, only because the world has to revolve around her at all times and that's his mothers fault. DH doesn't treat me like that at all. It's been hard, but believe me, in the end I could care less about anyone else. What matters the most is my DH and coming daughter.

Message edited 3/3/2006 3:11:04 PM.

Posted 3/3/06 3:06 PM
 

ana6178
Praying for a miracle!

Member since 5/05

1536 total posts

Name:

Re: I know I sound like a total brat but...

My sister and I are due within a week of one another and I couldn't be happier.

It is so nice to have someone to talk to other DH about how I feel.

I think you are reading too much into it and should be so happy for them. Chat Icon JMHO- no flaming. Chat Icon

Posted 3/3/06 3:17 PM
 

nferrandi
too excited for words

Member since 10/05

18538 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Re: I know I sound like a total brat but...

Posted by ana6178

My sister and I are due within a week of one another and I couldn't be happier.

It is so nice to have someone to talk to other DH about how I feel.

I think you are reading too much into it and should be so happy for them. Chat Icon JMHO- no flaming. Chat Icon



In theory it would be nice to have someone who can relate to exactly how I'm feeling, but to be totally honest, even though Evelyn is nice enough, she doesn't have much of a personality and she's not really one for sharing.
I just feel like my baby is the most important thing in the world to me and I want him/her to be as special and important to the rest of the family as well.

Posted 3/3/06 3:24 PM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: I know I sound like a total brat but...

I don't think you are being a brat but I would say the word you are looking for is envious. Not of the other pregnancy but of the time and attention that you will have to share now. The only thing I can say is-I've always felt like becoming pregnant and eventually a Mom will really make me into the complete person I am supposed to be. Maybe this is a test for you. Look at the situation-could you be close with this person and share the "glory" of pregnancy? Are they close in age to you and DH?

Posted 3/3/06 3:26 PM
 

nferrandi
too excited for words

Member since 10/05

18538 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Re: I know I sound like a total brat but...

Posted by melijane
Are they close in age to you and DH?




Not really. They're around 10 years older than us. We really like DH's uncle, but his wife is not very social. I just don't see us bonding over this experience. I guess if I did, it would be easier to accept.

Posted 3/3/06 3:27 PM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: I know I sound like a total brat but...

Hopefully your hormones will level off and you won't view it like this. Remember, people have more than one child so I would say, in the family, there is enough love and attention to go around. Also since you seem to be the more charismatic of the two you will orbably get more attention by default!

Posted 3/3/06 3:36 PM
 

DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it

Member since 5/05

18602 total posts

Name:
The cure IS worse!

Re: I know I sound like a total brat but...

I went through something similiar...SIL is due with identical twins three days before me.
However, now I LOVE IT! It's so nice to talk to someone going though EXACTKY what you are, EXACTLY when you are.


eta- Sorry just read the other threads.
Having a baby is special and as long as you make it so, it will be...by everyone

Message edited 3/3/2006 7:06:58 PM.

Posted 3/3/06 7:05 PM
 

BaroqueMama
Chase is one!

Member since 5/05

27530 total posts

Name:
me

Re: I know I sound like a total brat but...

Well, I am in a similar situation, only, I think I am the one who ruined the experience for my SIL. She's been trying to have another baby for 8 years now and has had 6 miscarriages in the last couple of years. She found out she was pregnant and a month or so later, we found out we're having a baby, too. Ours was not planned, and I was afraid that she may miscarry again and I would never know how to act around her againChat Icon LUCKILY, she was so happy that we're having babies together and THANK GOD, she is now 8 months pregnant and all is well with the baby.
I wouldn't worry about how you're feeling or read too far into it. It's an emotional time as it is, so you're bound to have some unexplainable feelings pop up now and then. I can just tell you that it's just a feeling, and feelings change. Hang in there.Chat Icon

Posted 3/3/06 7:12 PM
 
 

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