I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)(ETA)

Last night I had dinner with two friends of mine that I haven't seen in 7 years. We were so close and then one of them got married to an abuser and he wouldnt let her see any of her friends, and the other was very involved with her small kids and family and I was single, enjoying life, working two jobs and finishiing my bachelors so we lost touch. The one who was married to the abuser is at the tail end of her divorce, the other is still involved with her family, but at a different point and here I am married, living within 2 blocks of the married friend and 1/2 mile from the other. I have a step-daughter, a husband and hopefully soon a baby.

Anyway, we met at 4pm and we didnt leave the restaurant until about 1030, it felt so good. I know this sounds ridiculous but I didnt know how much I missed them until last night. So we swore to each other we would stay in touch. Well, the married one asked us to come over in two weeks and I am bringing my dh and my stepdaughter. She has kids my sd's age and her husband happens to be a great guy. So, I come home I am telling my dh how great it was and told him that we are going over in a couple of weeks (needless to say I make all the plans). He wont go, he is mad because I made plans without discussing it with him. I explained I thought he would have a good time and that its a Sat night, and that when he makes plans for us with his friends I dont compain. He said this is different he never heard of friends not speaking to each other for so long and then becoming friends again. I am dillsional to think this would be possible, was I wrong for making the plans? Right now I am so mad at him.

Edited to add: He came around last night. He apologized and actually said he would go and have a good time.

Message edited 2/21/2006 11:24:57 AM.

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

I would be mad at him too! Who says that old friends can't reconnect? It happens all the time!!

Sounds like there is another reason for his attitude...

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

I'd be mad at him too. Give it a few days, let him think about how silly he sounds and then revisit it. In the end, if he doesn't go, oh well, his loss, you go with your SD and have a good time. I hope he comes around because that is just a silly reason not to go, friends can get back in touch after many years.

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

Posted by Mrs-Boop

I'd be mad at him too. Give it a few days, let him think about how silly he sounds and then revisit it. In the end, if he doesn't go, oh well, his loss, you go with your SD and have a good time. I hope he comes around because that is just a silly reason not to go, friends can get back in touch after many years.

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

This is Men for you! My DH always complains that he wants to meet new people but then when we get asked to do something he doesn't want to go
I think you should go without him just bring your stepdaughter

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

I agree with the other posters. I would definitely be mad at him for reacting that way, and if he doesn't go, you and your SD go and have a good time. People reconnect all the time with old friends.

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

Posted by Mrs-Boop

I'd be mad at him too. Give it a few days, let him think about how silly he sounds and then revisit it. In the end, if he doesn't go, oh well, his loss, you go with your SD and have a good time. I hope he comes around because that is just a silly reason not to go, friends can get back in touch after many years.

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

IMO, I think his reasoning for being mad is a bit silly. Friends do reconnect all the time.

However, I do see his point about making plans without consulting him. But, as you say, since he does it to you, it's a wash

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

That's the silliest thing! Old friends reconnect all the time... my closest friend (Susan) and I lost touch for about 3 years and when we reconnected we became closer than we ever were... I would have such a hole in my life without her. If these friends mean that much to you, it's well worth the effort

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

You're husband is acting like a jerk, but to be honest, I can see my own DH reacting somewhat similarly. Whenever they're asked to go outside of their comfort zone, guys can get kind of childish. I don't know how you and your DH handle momets like this, but I know that sometimes I just tell DH "we're going xxxxx on Saturday night. I know you may not want to go, but do me a favor and keep it to yourself. We ARE going, so don't bother trying to make a stink about it." That usually does the trick.

Message edited 2/20/2006 9:15:34 PM.

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

That is the MOST ridiculous thing I have ever heard. If he doesn't go, go without him and take your SD...he's being a jerk.

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)

I think thats a crock!
I wouldnt even talk to him about it again. I would just take you'r SD and go hang with the girls- just like you had planned to. He knows where you are if he wants to come.

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)(ETA)

That's great that he came around. Men just don't understand the way women's friendships operate. I have friends who live out of state or even locally and I don't talk to all that much, but whenever we talk it's like no time has passed.

Message edited 2/21/2006 11:53:02 AM.

Re: I need opinions and I want to vent just a little...(a little long sorry)(ETA)