Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

Ok, here's the story....
This Sunday I am having a Super Bowl party at my house. 12 people: me, my husband, his 2 brothers, their wives and 4 children, my brother and his friend....
I have a small co-op and can barely fit 5 people in my living room, so its gonna be tight...
My mom calls me to tell me that her cousin's daughter and her 2 kids and her husband are here in NY visiting from overseas and want to see me.
Now, my mom and dad live in Ct. and my mom knows that her cousin's daughter wont go to Ct to see her, so my mom would have to come here. Naturally, she calls me and asks me if they can all come to MY house....ON SUNDAY. She calls me TODAY to tell me this!
I told my mom NO and I explained that I wouldn't be able to divide my time between DH's family and my brother and his friend....and she proceeded to tell me that she is disappointed in me, that she can't believe her ears, that I am "Like THAT" and she has never heard of having not enough room for FAMILY!
So she made me feel like the biggest jerk on the planet!
Am I wrong? Would it be really bad to not have them stop by on Sunday? I am cooking and hosting, so i don't know what to do!
I am so confused! I guess I just need someone tot ell me I am doing the right thing so I can ease my guilty conscience. My husband says I always let my mom guilt me into EVERYTHING....
sorry so long!

Message edited 2/3/2006 11:30:52 AM.

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

tell her to come, and then hand her an apron and a serving spoon...

I don't think you're wrong to feel put out by the request, especially since it's short notice, and you don't have a huge place that would accomodate so many people...

if she keeps pushing it, screw it, let them come, they'll be uncomforable and you won't have time to visit with them, and your mom will be the one entertaining them....

I hate the whole guilt thing, my mom has made it into an art form

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

As for the space issue- the superbowl is in the evening. Can she come in the morning? Thay may be a good compromise.

She should also either leave early and give you enough time to prepare for the party or help you get ready for the party.

This way you get it all done- you get to see your family and prepare for your party without have to worry about the space issue.

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

There's no way you can see them tonight or tomorrow??

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I would jump at the chance to see family visiting from overseas.

If they can only do sunday, I would have them come over early in the day for breakfast (bagels, danish) or lunch (deli or pizza) or go out. I would do all the prep work for the superbowl party on Saturday so there's just some setting up, reheating, etc.

I would tell your mom & cousin visiting that you are expecting guests at XX:00 and need to be ready for that as well.

Not an ideal situation but I would try to make it work.

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

What time is the Super Bowl? Maybe that will work! I definitely would like to see them, but they aren't very close family. It's my mom's cousin's daughter's daughter...lol.
I can try setting up Sat then....what time is the Super Bowl?

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

The superbowl is at 6 pm.

ETA: Your mom can come around 11 with your relatives. That will give you a few hours for a visit. Some time to prepare and some time to rest before your party.

Message edited 2/3/2006 11:51:25 AM.

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

I don't have advice for you unfortunately. BUT, I do know exactly where you are coming from as my mom is the queen of guilt trips. Every single thing I do, something has to be said about it. So, I would just tell her you already made these plans and you apologize, but you can get together with them another day. She'll get over it.

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

Maybe a brunch would work. Like 11:00? They'll (hopefully) be gone by 3pm (that's a 4 hour visit!!), and it gives you plenty of time to set up for the Super Bowl party.

Good luck!!!
Sorry about the guilt trip. Must be a mom thing.....

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

If you don't have plans for Saturday I think that is a good idea.

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

I think Saturday is a great idea for them to come. If they are in town by then. I mean yes the other alternative is for them to come earlier on Sunday but it's goig to be too much for you to be entertaining all day.

Ask your mom for Saturday and see what she says. Otherwise she will get over it. They eventually do. My mom is the same way, the queen of guilt trips...I remember when DH and I were planning our wedding and we hired a DJ instead of a band. My mom felt hurt because she really wanted us to pick my cousin's band to perform at our wedding. It was not what we wanted, we wanted a DJ. She laid on her guilt trip that he would be offended and so would my aunt. We said "this is what we want, we are paying for this wedding, not them, they'll just have to get over it"... Turns out that my aunt nor my cousin were offended. In fact what we did to make everyone happy was give one of my cousin's CD of his music to the DJ and he played it. So we got to hear a little of my cousin at the wedding.

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

Thanks for the great advice everyone....I feel MUCH better!
I mentioned Saturday to her and she is going to call my cousin and see what times are good for her.

You guys are the best!

Re: Need advice! MOM giving me a guilt trip!

Hope all works out for you...