I am losing my mind...

So here i sit and write at 6:32 am. I got exactly 2 hours of sleep last night and mind you so did my son. He went to sleep at 9 last night, was up at midnight, down at 12:30 and up again at 2am.. he's been up ever since. And not even crying the whole time, just UP. I dont get it. He is so restless when he does sleep, his arms start flailing, i try to swaddle, he hates it now and screams. I tried to put him in the swing at around 4am, (which usually puts him right out for naps, but didnt want to start using it as a nighttime crutch) But i was so desperate, i tried it. Nothing. Whimpering then started real crying. So i decided to let him just be UP in his car seat, and that didnt last long before the whimpering started and then full fledged crying. I fed him, ate some, crying... pacificer?? no... crying..
Dozed off a few times then the arms start flailing, and then he's up. He passed gas a few times but COME ON!!!

I thought babies needed like 10 hrs of sleep at night....this is ridiculous. My husband is a total waste I hate him right now. My back and neck are snapping from being on the couch and I just dont know how much more i can take of this. I actually wanted to just get in my truck around 4:30 and leave the house and not come back. Then i started crying, and then i went out back with a few drinking glasses and smashed them into a million pieces on my concrete patio. I am just so tired, physically and mentally trying to figure out what this baby's problem is. I talk to my ped he says reflux is worse at night. HOLY ****! he wasnt even crying alot though.. just wide eyed, and whimpery... I am not enjoying this baby right now and that is sad. And I dont like myself too much either. Thanks for letting me vent..

Re: I am losing my mind...

Ugh, I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

When you say he screams when you swaddle him, do you mean during the process of trying to get it on, or even after he has been in it for a bit? For my daughter in the beginning, she'd be mad while I swaddled her, but once in the swaddle I could get her to settle sometimes by nursing or rocking.

I wish I had a magic answer for you, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Personally I don't see how anyone enjoys having a newborn. (I guess those are the moms blessed with easygoing babies -- having a fussmonster simply isn't fun.)

Either way, I think you need a break. Can you afford a baby sitter? A night nanny would actually be ideal for a few evenings to help you regain your battle strength....

Re: I am losing my mind...

Have you tried a white noise machine? Some babies are lulled by these kinds of sounds....tv static, fans, hair dryers. TV static helped Kevin during naptime.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I too can't believe how hard it is taking care of a baby. You are not alone and the girls on this site are always here to listen and help if we can!

Re: I am losing my mind...

You know how I feel- all I can give is

Re: I am losing my mind...

I don't know what to say I think you need to have a sitdown with your DH. You did not make this baby by yourself and he should be helping you. Especially if he doesn't want you to loose your mind.

Re: I am losing my mind...

It sounds like you're very close to your breaking point. Where is DH in all of this? I know that when I was on maternity leave I felt like I had to take all the baby burden on myself because DH was working, but there were mornings he would find me sobbing with Alex and he would take her from me and let me nap for an hour or two. There is absolutely no way in hell one woman can handle a fussy, sleepless baby all by herself. Kick his arse into gear - what about your family? Is there anyone who can take Jacob for a little while? Maybe hire a teenager in the neighborhood to watch him for a couple of hours a week while you get some rest?

Is it possible Jacob is teething? Babies tend to be very restless and cranky when they start teething. I know it's hard - I was there just a few short weeks ago. Alex had the worst gas on earth and it kept her up all hours of the night. Maybe it's time to see a gastrointestinal specialist?

Re: I am losing my mind...

OK...Bella is an arm flailer too and if you look at my other post, you see my paranoia in taking away the swaddle. Have you tried the miracle blanket?
DH and I noticed right off the bat when she was teeny that when swaddled right, she loved it...do it wrong or not tight enough and it was hell to pay. We spent the first few weeks of her life thinking she had terrible gas, when all she needed to do was relax and it came right out when we swaddled her. We have been swaddling for 5 1/2 months out of her 6 months on this earth and I truly credit her good sleeping to the fact that her little arms are not a factor in waking her up...

Now, we are having a problem moving away from it, because those darn hands to the face are waking her up and her schedule is all out of synch...

This may not be the solution, but it might be worth a try...

Also, you NEED you DH. A few hours sleeping without worrying about anything but you will help. Also, get out of the house and go shopping. You need some time...and breaking glasses (although brilliant) is only gonna help for a second...

Good Luck and lots of
I hope things get better soon...

FM in you need anything...

Re: I am losing my mind...

I am not a parent yet, but just wanted to offer some advice. I agree with the ladies stating that you need to sit down with DH and talk to him. Just because you are out on maternity leave or a SAHM does not mean you do not have a job. You probably have a tougher one then your DH has. He should be helping out with you and letting you sleep at least half the night. Men sometimes do not get this at all.

Second, do you have any family around that can come over to help you one day?? You really sound like you need to go somewhere and just sleep for a good few hours. Maybe a family member can come over for a few hours to watch your little boy while you go somewhere (to a family members house, even a hotel if need be) to get some sleep. The exhaustion you have physically and mentally is not going to do any good for you or the baby. I would try and ask for help. Don't be afraid to do so.

In the meantime here are some hugs for you

Re: I am losing my mind...

Wow, it sounds like you are having a really tough time! I just want to reach out to you and help you!!!!!
I have to agree with the ladies, your DH NEEDS to help out. I could not imagine going through this without my DH's help. You are with the baby all day long, dh is at work probably all day long. I don't know what kind of job he has but you have one that really doesn't give you any breaks and if he does you are probably doing housework! It is the most mentally, physically and emotional job I have ever had. You go through so many different emotions throughout one day that one minute your cooing and gaaing and the next your pulling you hair out!
Its really hard work and when Dh comes home he should be helping you, your day doesn't end at 5:00, why should his???
A tired mommy doesn't do any body any good, especially Jacob. You need to get some help, you need to get a few uninterupted hours of sleep. You will feel like a new women, I promise!