calling someone with bad news?

what do you do?? if, for example, a loved one passed away, do you call someone on the phone and tell them or face to face? for example, when my grandma died in 2003, my dad called my brother, but did not leave a voice mail telling him that way, he waited until he spoke to him.

i ask b/c my co-workers mother passed recently and she left a messge on the machine at home for her mil. i found that a little inappropriate, but didn't say anything b/c this woman is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

how do you approach this situation?

Re: calling someone with bad news?

def would NOT leave a voicemail....UNLESS there really was NO other way to tell that person

Re: calling someone with bad news?

Re: calling someone with bad news?

When you are faced with making dozens of phone calls like this, you get the message out any way you can since there a so many people that need to be contacted and so many other things that need to happen in a very short and emotional time. If it's voice mail, so be it.

Re: calling someone with bad news?

I think it depends how close I am to the person who died and the person who I am calling.

When my parents died, I did tell my closest friends, but for some people, co-workers, more distant friends, I did leave messages. Sometimes, it is just way too draining to get into this discussion with every person you know, but you want to get the word out if they want to come to the services. I would have had my husband call his mother and tell her, but at least the MIL found out from them, and not through the grapevine, which is my other concern.

Re: calling someone with bad news?

I guess it depends on how close the person is/was to the deceased?

was your co-workers MIL close with her mother???

Re: calling someone with bad news?

The other thing I wanted to add, is I think it may also depend on the shock factor. My parents were both fighting cancer, so when they did pass away, it was not a huge shock to anyone. I think if someone got that message, they would be saddened to hear it, but sort of knew it was coming. If the deceased died of a sudden heart attack, or car accident, etc. then it would be much more upsetting to get that news in a voicemail, because it is unexpected.

Re: calling someone with bad news?

Re: calling someone with bad news?

Honestly, if someone's mother died - any way they want to tell the news is fine with me. That person is grieving & not in the right frame of mind. Someone else should be making those calls.

When my old boyfriend's mom died, I had to make the phone calls. I couldn't imagine him being able to call.

Re: calling someone with bad news?

Re: calling someone with bad news?

when my father passed away, it was bad enough for me that I just wanted to get it done regardless of how it was done. i dont think I put much thought into it. I definitely would do it on the phone vs in person. Peoples reactions over the phone are unbearable. couldnt even imagine having to tell everyone face to face. I agree that its probably not best to do it over voicemail but if its got to be done due to funeral arrangements and not being able to get in touch...I probably would have left a message.

Re: calling someone with bad news?

Re: calling someone with bad news?

i agree about the state of mind...but to me, it just didn't seem right. and she was not close to her mom, but i guess that goes out the window when you lose a parent.