new moms that have to work

i'm having a very hard time w/ this. my is 4 weeks old (almost) and i need to go to work. (we need a 2nd salary). i'm soo upset about leaving him i don't know what to do. he would be w/ my mom every day, which is fine, but i just don't want to miss any part of his day! i seriously cry everytime i think about not being here w/ him. here's some questinos if you don't mind answering.

how old was your baby when you went back to work?

how did you initially get over the 'leaving' part?

what did you do about BF'ing?

thanks

Re: new moms that have to work

I would like to see the responses too. I cry all the time about this, my DH thinks i'm crazy. I go back to work when my baby is 12 weeks. I just dont want to miss anything, it is depressing.

I'm BF too. I plan to BF when I am home and I plan to pump at work at lunch time. I work from 8:20-3:20. I wish I could pup more but i'm a teacher and it's not possible.

Message edited 7/31/2006 12:15:06 PM.

Re: new moms that have to work

how old was your baby when you went back to work?

DD was 8 weeks when I went back

how did you initially get over the 'leaving' part?

It took me a while, but I did get over it - You will too!

what did you do about BF'ing?
I didn't BF - I'll leave that to the board experts.

's - it does get easier!!!

Re: new moms that have to work

I'd also like to see the responses. I am going back when DS is 16 weeks (5 more weeks) and am already upset about it!
I am exlusively pumping and plan to pump once at work and as much at home as possible. I will start to supplement with formula because I don't think my supply will be as good once I decrease the amount of pumping.

Re: new moms that have to work

Here is some stuff that might help

Crying is OKAY and normal...it is not easy going back to work after you have a baby

KNOW your baby will be okay and you are still his mother, no matter what hours you work

Start with a P/T week, not a full-time. Go back on a Wed or Thursday and those first few days leave at 3pm. That will really make a difference. You are better off going back a few days early to start P/T for a week or two.

Practice the new routine a few days before you need to actually do it. It is NOT the same as getting yourself out of the house in the morning. Lay everything out the night before and pack the baby's bag the evening before (or get the stuff he/she needs ready for the at-home sitter).

Leave the baby with the care giver for 2 hours or so and go get your hair and nails done. You want to look good when you go back to work. Make sure you have some outfits that fit..this is not always easy a few weeks after having a baby. But someone told me that if I looked put-together I would feel better and it was good advice.

Speak to your care giver..even if it is your mom/dad/sister, and explain that you don't want phone calls about "1st"..you will discover them on your own. My MIL would call my SIL when her son did something for the first time ,not to be mean but because she was excited and honestly it caused a lot of resement and fighting.

Remember the first few days are really hard. Dad's go back to work when the babies are very small so they don't understand what a mom feels. It is very different. Know that other moms have felt it too. We are here to support you!!

I went back when Molly was 14 weeks old, although I work from home mostly and she was in daycare only 1-2 x per week up until she was 5 month old. Then she went 2 days a week until she 8 months old and at 18 months old she startred 4 days a week.

About BFing...you can nurse in the morning (just plan it with your new schedule of getting ready in the morning). Then you can pump during the day. You need a HIGH quality pump like a Medela PIS. Speak to your boss before you go back and make sure you have a private, clean area to pump in. I can help you with a pumping schedule if you would like. Just let me know.
Then you can nurse once you are home. You should start to pump 2-3 weeks prior to going back to work to build your freezer supply to use in the bottles. If you have any pumping questions just ask. A great book is Nursing Mother/Working Mother.

Message edited 7/31/2006 12:29:13 PM.

Re: new moms that have to work

Re: new moms that have to work

It's not easy in the beginning. Taylor was 13 weeks old when I went back to work. I cried on the way to daycare, I cried all day at work---for a full week.

It does get easier---I call daycare two or three times a day still just to check in....Having major daycare issues but that's another post.

What I did was the week before I started going back I would take her to the daycare center for an hour or so and stay with her...then I would drop her off for a half hour and go get myself a sandwhich and eat it in the car and them come back in.... the last day before I started work I left her there for 4 hours (really only 3 hours b/c I couldn't take it anymore).

The day care was very understanding.

Believe me--It's harder on us then it is on our little ones at that young age!

Good Luck and it will get better!

Denise

Re: new moms that have to work

I cry all the time about going back to work too I don't want to leave him at all. I hate going out without him now. I miss him so much.

Thanks for the advice I keep hoping some miracle will happen and I won't have to go back. My parents are playing the lottery everyday for us

Re: new moms that have to work

I have my own business, so I'm planing on taking an extremely short maternity leave, probably only 2 weeks. I will actually have to pay someone to be there while I'm out, so I need to get back to work ASAP.

ETS- on the up side. I don't work full time. I have a dance studio so I teach after school hours, usually 3:30 -8.

Message edited 7/31/2006 5:51:49 PM.

Re: new moms that have to work

I am in the same boat and want to hear what the others have to say too! DD is 7 weeks old tomorrow... go back when she is 11 week old. My mom will also be watching her all day. I am so afraid to miss things!!! I left her with my mom for an hour a few weeks ago - - I come back and her belly button stump had fallen off!!

I am not BFing so I cant really say much about that but Im sure others will have some good ideas...

ETA how old will DS be when you go back??

Message edited 7/31/2006 3:12:47 PM.

Re: new moms that have to work

So sorry.. I know your pain.

1. DS was 2 months when I went back to work.

2. At first it was very hard to leave DS but like you, he is with my mom so I don't have the worry about him being taken care of during the day. It gets easier everyday, but I was upset that first initial week going back. Although I will say that as hard as it is, I do enjoy having my adult time.

3. I didnt BF so I didnt have to worry about that

Re: new moms that have to work

I've already started back at work (she's 5 weeks). Its the downside of running my own business - I don't get FMLA or 12 weeks off.

I've been starting back slowly, since she was 3 weeks old. A few hours a week, moving up to a few days a week.

I leave her with DH, or take her with me (a benefit of a home office, in my parents house). She's with me today.

I don't have an issue with leaving her - maybe because its not for more than a few hours. I started her on an occasional bottle at 2.5 weeks so I can leave a bottle of expressed BM behind when I'm not there. I haven't been gone long enough (yet) that I have to pump while I'm away.

Re: new moms that have to work

how old was your baby when you went back to work?
4 months

how did you initially get over the 'leaving' part?

I don't think I ever have

what did you do about BF'ing?

She was on formula by then. It is so hard, I know. But I will say, it is nice to have adult conversation throughout the day!

Re: new moms that have to work

I went back to work when my DD was 8 weeks old.

I don't think I ever got over it --- but I admit there are some days when you do enjoy going out and being with adults. My DH sends me a photo message on my phone every morning when she wakes up and I send text messages back and forth with the babysitter throughout the day to make sure all is well.

I wasn't BFing by the time I got back to work so that wasn't an issue for us.

Re: new moms that have to work

Re: new moms that have to work

I went back at 12 weeks.. It was hard but it was ok.. It took a while of getting used too.. i changed my hours so I can have some time with her in the am..
I didn't breat feed...

I also have my desk covered in pics

Re: new moms that have to work

I had to go back to work when Benji was 4 days shy of 3 months. It was very hard, but at the same time I was happy that first week to be around adults, to go out to lunch, to wear nice clothes etc. It doesn;t however take way the fact that I would still have rather been at home with him. And once the novelty of being back it the adult world wore off it became just soemthign that I had to do every day. However, that moment when you rush home and antisipate seeing him and that finally do see him -- it's priceless and is worth all those hours aways from him! I think working moms possibly appreciate time they spend with their children more simply because we have less of it so we really really make every second count! At least I think so

I EBF for 13 months so I pumped at work for 9 months. It was hard and it si a commitment but it really made me feel so much better about heaving leave my baby every day. I felt that I was still doign something woenderful for him, even though I wasn't physicalyl with him at t he time. Everytime I pumped, it made me feel connected to him.

Message edited 7/31/2006 4:50:27 PM.

Re: new moms that have to work

Posted by dawnygirl25

I am in the same boat and want to hear what the others have to say too! DD is 7 weeks old tomorrow... go back when she is 11 week old. My mom will also be watching her all day. I am so afraid to miss things!!! I left her with my mom for an hour a few weeks ago - - I come back and her belly button stump had fallen off!!

I am not BFing so I cant really say much about that but Im sure others will have some good ideas...

ETA how old will DS be when you go back??

Re: new moms that have to work

I went back to work when my daughter was 11 weeks. It was extremely difficult so I understand how you feel. What helped me is that I ended up putting a picture montage together of our 11 weeks together and framed it. On the back of it I wrote her a long note about how our 11 weeks were over but it was the best 11 weeks I have ever spent --too mushy to tell you everything LOL . I then took a picture of that montage, along with a smiling picture of her on her boppy and that was the first thing I put on my desk.

I promise it gets easier with time. My daughter is now 2 and sometimes she's like goooo Mommy LOL. She is used to being with her nana and the best part is when I come home and she screams MOMMMYYYYYYYY

Hope that helps

Re: new moms that have to work

I went back to work when my son was 5 months old. He was born at the beginning of June and I'm a teacher so it worked out for awhile. I was still heartbroken though. I had to go back to work when my daughter was 11 weeks old. That was even harder. I know exactly how you feel. I was also BF. As a teacher I would Bf them right before I had to go to the sitter. Then I would get to school and make my copies for my students. I always made sure I was about a week ahead of the game so I wasn't scrambling. Then on my prep and lunch I would pump in my classroom. If I had to make parent phone calls ( I know this sounds strange) I would call them on my cell phone while I was pumping. But to me my babies came first. I felt BF my children came above the needs of my job during that time. And to be honest I never had any problems. You have to do what you feel is best for you. It didn't hurt that I was so done with the fact of eating in the Faculty room with all the BS that goes along with that.
You need to do what makes you happy. Put pictures all around you. I even had a recordable frame that I had her bable into. It made such a difference and also helped with te BF. As soon as I saw their pictures and heard their voices I became more relaxed and pumping was never a problem. But nothing beats coming home to them. Good luck.

Re: new moms that have to work

how old was your baby when you went back to work?
Bella was 9 weeks when I went back.
DH stayed home until she was 16 weeks

how did you initially get over the 'leaving' part?
I was OK when DH was home, daycare was an adjustment, but it does get easier and I love the facility she is at so I am OK...

what did you do about BF'ing?
I FF, so I am of no help to you sorry

It does get easier and it is very hard in the beginning. Just know that it's OK to cry...I still do sometimes when I am having a bad day.

Re: new moms that have to work

I feel your pain.

My daughter was 4 1/2 months when I went back to work.

The first day back I was so excited to have a 'break' but after that it set in and it was hard. To make matters worse as she got older she didn't care when I came home when my Mom watched her . She would cry when my Mom left Definitely didn't make me feel good.

Now that I have been home for the summer and it's all about Mommy again and she is 15months old I know this September is going to be really hard.

As for the breast feeding I couldn't breast feed but I know one of the other teachers at work pumped on her off periods.

Re: new moms that have to work

I didnt BF and my Mom watched her the first 2 wks I was back (now she's in daycare) and the first couple of days were very hard, I leftr the house crying. But it got easier each day and I would get updates from my Mom on how she was doing so that helped. Each day got easier and I knew she was well taken care of. It will get easier and you have something to look forward to all day - to get home to the baby and you have all weekend with him.

Re: new moms that have to work

My son was 12 weeks when i went back to work..

I cried the first day, but i only work 2 days a week so it isnt bad at all. He is with my DH those days till 2pm, then MIL till 5. My MIL sends me picture messages of him to my cell phone all day so its nice..

I got over it after a week or so, and now i actually look forward to going to work those days.. I get to be around adult conversations, dont lose my skills, and the $$ just cant be beat for what i do.

I FF so that wasnt an issue for me. It is def hard the first week or so, but once you get into a routine and into the swing of things at work again, you will be fine.

Re: new moms that have to work

Posted by CheeChee

My son was 12 weeks when i went back to work..

I cried the first day, but i only work 2 days a week so it isnt bad at all. He is with my DH those days till 2pm, then MIL till 5. My MIL sends me picture messages of him to my cell phone all day so its nice..

I got over it after a week or so, and now i actually look forward to going to work those days.. I get to be around adult conversations, dont lose my skills, and the $$ just cant be beat for what i do.

I FF so that wasnt an issue for me. It is def hard the first week or so, but once you get into a routine and into the swing of things at work again, you will be fine.