TMI... How do I get my sex drive back?

My DH and I have moved from having money problems to another problem. Well, it's been ongoing for a WHILE now I guess. We HARDLY ever have sex or fool around. We only do it like 1-2 times a month! My DH is really upset about this, but I just can't help but not want sex! I think it's from us having the money problems for so long and always bickering at each other that, that always killed the mood for me. I think I just got used to not wanting it I guess, if you could understand that. Along with my other problems medically doesn't help, but I just don't care for sex. By the time I get my son down for bed, I ALWAYS fall asleep accidentally. My DH gets upset with me, but I can't help being tired. I work FT and take care of my son at night, and try to take care of the dogs and house at night, he works FT during the day and PT at night and on weekends so our schedules conflict meaning by the time he gets home from work it's late. But I also fall asleep when he's home too. It just seems that sex is farthest from my mind. What can I do to help my sex drive? It just doesn't exist anymore. Thanks ladies!

Message edited 11/21/2005 9:55:22 AM.

Re: TMI... How do I get my sex drive back?

In the marriage post someone had a good suggestion that I found myself doing anyway.

I think once we have kids we instantly and naturally take on the role as "Mom" as our first role.

So the wife and sexual partner we used to be might not be our "first" role or first priority.

Someone suggested getting sexy stuff, bras, lingerea(sp?) etc and putting that on when you want to have sex. It helps you to get into that role.

I know this weekend I went and bought myself some sexy bras -- sexier then I EVER wore -- even pre-pregnancy -- because I want to make sure that my husband and I don't neglect eachother in that area -- and if that helps, so be it.

I don't know if it will work for you but it might.

Also could you have a Caiden free night? Can someone babysit -- so you and your DH can go on a date? I was even suggesting to my husband that we should rent a hotel room, lol -- just so we don't ahve to worry about Emily waking up, and have my sister watch her for the night. Maybe not even staying over for the whole night but a few hours.

Can you look through your honeymoon pics or pics from when you were dating to reminis about how things used to be? Maybe it'll help get a little spark back?

I don't know if these suggestions will help but I hope they do.