Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

I got so overwhelming news this week. My baby is due on 12/18, and my inlaws have decided to have Christmas in NC this year. I know my brother in law and his 2 kids would never stay in a hotel. My FIL said that if he doesn't find a reasonable hotel, he will sleep in the car . My MIL(they are divorced, I have no idea how that is going to be) wants to come for 2 weeks.

My sisters were planning on coming as well as my brother. My mother wants to come to NC in January, she wants to be assured that a baby will be there incase I am overdue.

the very funny thing is, currently I rent an apt. with absolutely no furniture. Once Leo's training is done here, we will be back in Charlotte to househunt, but all is up in the air.

My husband was so concerned because I have problems with his fam, I told him I am just going to be locked in my room with my baby. His poor nieces are constantly sick with RSV, I don't want them that close to my baby.

But, I am so happy my sisters will be there, so I feel like I have no say about my inlaws. I just feel like my sisters and even my MIL will know exactly what to expect out of me...nothing but a crying overtired new mom.

And, Leo will only have Christms off...no vacation time...

Is this common, a full house of out of towners?

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

Oh, no!!! You poor thing! I think I would die if all of those people descended on us. All of our family is out of state too. My mom may come for about a week to help out once the baby's born, but that's it. I told her that I just want her to come. Our apartment is two bedroom, but my father drives me nuts and I don't think I could handle him right after I have the baby. Sometimes I worry that I'll be lonely and I know I'll be sad that all of our family & friends won't be able to meet our little one, but I wouldn't want all of those visitors at once either (like you're describing.) I hope it all works out for you!

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

My mom came to Chicago the day before I went into labor and was here for 2 weeks. My dad and brothers came the last 4 days and they all left together. Our bedrooms were upstairs and the guest room is on the 1st floor. So I was able to get away when I needed to.

Since you are in an apt, why not see if they will stagger the visits. Maybe even give you a couple of weeks to adjust.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

thanks...that is another fear I have, that if I ask people not to come, I will be so down that no one is there to see my baby.

I wish they would stagger, but my FIL is more concerned with seeing his sons together on Christmas then seeing the baby. My sil is a teacher and that is her only time off. My sisters are in school, so that is why they are coming that time as well.

My DH said that he is sure they are coming on 12/23 and leaving 12/26, so that isn't that long(FIL and BIL)

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

We had a rotating door for the first 2 months

My dad & stepmom came the day after we came home (I was induced so we knew when she'd be born). They stayed for 5 nights.

Then one of DH best friends

Then came my real mom (I think) for 3 or 4 nights....what a nightmare

Then was my sister for a few nights.

then my in-laws for a few nights.

Then another of DH best friends was here in March.

It was nice always having someone around but I was glad to have our peace and quiet

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

Since you said DH will only be off on Christmas, it might be nice for you to have some help during the day. I would just set some boundries (sp???) during the visit for everyone.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

thanks steph...let me add my fuel to the fire. My FIL is a very high maintance schizophrenic. My BIL and SIL are in therapy because of their constant fighting. I think the lock on my bedroom door is going to be the key factor.

I am so thankful that my sisters will be there. They will be a big help. His mom as well, once I work out a few issues with her.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

I didn't allow anyone to sleep in my home until Molly was 3 weeks old...and then my MIL came and stayed for 2 nights. You have a right to not have people stay in your home during that very important time with your baby.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

this might be a bit overwhelming.the holidays plus ajusting to a newborn,plus all the family..you just never know how you will be feeling.. best of luck to you

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

It's simple. Tell them honestly you are welcome but you need to stay at a hotel. We can not have all these people in our home when I bring a newborn home. Too bad if they don't like it. You will need your rest and time to bond as a family

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

You poor thing. We are going through something similar. Everyone wants to come and "help" with the new babies. I feel like it will be more of a burden on me than a help. I finally had DH email his mother that she can come, but she would need to stay in a hotel. She never responded to that and then didnt speak to him for 3 weeks. Its still never been brought up.

I know it is hard, but I feel like I definitely need to grow some b*lls and tell people that we need to bond as a family and if they want to come, they need to stay in a hotel.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

Thanks guys. I know, the hotel thing should stand...the only thing is my 3 brothers and sisters are too young for a hotel. They are 16, 17, 18. I guess its not really too young, but I look forward to them being here so badly. My other sister, 26, is up in the air with work. Maybe if she comes, they will be able to get a room together.

I feel like I have to do all or nothing. Like I can't pick out who has to stay in a hotel out of the pack.

If DH's family holds true to self, they won't be there anyway. They are always cancelling.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

nj

Message edited 9/29/2007 9:04:41 PM.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

My mom plans on flying out here and staying a week or two. I am assuming my dad will come with her although maybe not stay as long.
It is all up in the air right now.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

With that many people, I would say no one can say in your home, otherwise you will go nuts.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

personally, i wouldn't be able to handle all of that. i would be totally overwhelmed and emotional.

if your brothers/sisters are in high school, can they come a few weeks later for a short stay, like for MLK weekend, or President's Week in February? your baby will still be tiny & adorable & brand new, but it would space out the visits a bit and let you settle in.

Re: Are out of state people planning on attending the birth?

I am due on Jan.6 and live in CA so my whole family- mom, dad, sis and grandma are coming and staying with us for Christmas. I am so happy they will be there and pray they are there for the birth and that she comes early.

We have a bigger house though with 4 bedrooms so I don't feel like they will take over. I also have a good relationship with my mom. IF my in-laws decended on us too for Christmas- then I would lose it however. My Dreaded SIL is pushing for everyone to do that so she doesn't have to travel over Christmas and I am sure to torture me as well.