bridesmaid at 4-6 wks pp?

hi ladies! Well I am only 5 weeks, and although it is a bit early to worry about this I have to make a decision about my friends wedding. I live in VA, and her wedding is next Oct. in NY. I am due 8/16 and would have a 4-6 week old newborn (depending when I deliver) and have to fly or DRIVE to NY to be in her wedding. What would you guys do? I don't know if that is at all realistic with a newborn, or if it's no big deal and I shouldn't worry about it. Has anyone done this? My Dh suggests I just go and he stays w/the baby, but the thought of that just kills me. he thinks we can't take the baby on a big trip like that so soon. I don't think I can leave it so soon. Has anyone done this? I am going to see my friend in a couple of weeks and want to share the news w/her, but I want to have an idea what I'm going to do about her wedding too bc I'm sure she'll ask. She is a very good friend and I'd hate to miss her wedding, but the baby obviously comes first. Thanks for any advice!!

Re: bridesmaid at 4-6 wks pp?

Are you planning to breastfeed? If so, leaving baby with your husband isn't realistic at 4-6 weeks. Where in VA? A 5 hour drive with a newborn wouldn't be that terrible.

I'd reconsider being a bridesmaid though. Attending the wedding sounds worthwhile and doable -- being a bridesmaid would add unnecessary stress.

Re: bridesmaid at 4-6 wks pp?

I do plan on breastfeeding, and it would be more like a 8-9 hour drive out to eastern LI. I just don't think I can leave the baby that early, esp if breastfeeding. Even if I flew up that morning and back the next morning I would be miserable the entire time. I hate to back out on her, I really want to do the right thing. Could I stay w/the baby in a hotel? Is the whole idea just insane?? Thanks for any help, I really appreciate it

Re: bridesmaid at 4-6 wks pp?

Being totally realistic, I dont see it being possible, the bridesmaid part. It will be too much on you. Suppose you end up with a c/s...your recovery will be much longer. I'm sure (hope) your friend will understand. Of course, you'd try to get to the wedding but you never know that might not be possible either. I think you just have to keep it in your mind that a newborn and pp is a totally unpredictable thing. My oldest friend couldnt be at my wedding, she lives in Charlotte and had a 6 week old and the trip was too much.

Re: bridesmaid at 4-6 wks pp?

I feel your pain. I am in the same boat. I have a wedding in the bahamas about a month after the baby is born. I am not breastfeeding and my mom and husband have told me many times to go and they will be home. I am torn as well.
If you are planning to bring the baby to the hotel, is there someone that could also come with you and watch the baby at the hotel? This way, if there is a problem, you are close by.

I hope it works out for you.
Good Luck.

Re: bridesmaid at 4-6 wks pp?

Personally, I wouldn't be in the BP. It's a big commitment. I have a wedding about 3 months after the baby is born where I am a bridesmaid and I am already going crazy wondering if i will look ok in my dress, since I have to order it when i am 9 months pg or immediately PP. Even know, I am a MOH in my SIL's wedding in March where I will be 33 weeks, oh boy...

Re: bridesmaid at 4-6 wks pp?

Thanks for the advice. I am so scared to tell her I'm pg, she is immediately going to wonder how this will impact her wedding. I don't want to get the dress and have her counting on me if I just can't make it. It's so unpredictable what shape we'll be in. I just don't think she's going to take it well if I back out :( but hopefully she will understand. Thanks for listening.