Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Message edited 8/12/2005 12:34:37 PM.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

before just out and out pulling out, i would have DH talk to his mother about the issue and voice your concerns. At least, give her the chance to realize the error and work together to fix the problem.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

I'm a little funny about our families knowing our finances.
Maybe the both of you should sit down with her and air your concerns first before going with someone else

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

gosh, that stinks.

But, I'm more business minded, then "relationship" minded. I'd have them done elsewhere. End of story.

Mentally, I'd remind myself that it's a business decision, and nothing personal.

If she asked, I'd say, "oh, I know you're busy and I just felt so bad that I've never paid you for your services. I didn't want to take advantage of you anymore"

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

honestly, its your money and completely up to you. i would go to an accountant and stick with that. i understand about the tension, but if you explain that you are just more comfortable with someone else and let her know that you appreciate everything she's done...maybe she'll understand. my mom does mine and fh taxes and there has not been a problem in teh 5 years she's done them. but i know if fh ever thought something was wrong, he'd tell me and we'd take it form there.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

I clicked other- shoot her!

Just kidding truth is, you will upset her but it is your money. Boy that was helpful right? I think I would have DH talk to her about it, also saying we feel a little funny about her knowing all your finances (now that you are married and will be itemizing) and also that you appreciate all she has done but feel like you are taking advantage and cant do that anymore (that was someone elses suggestion-but I like it)

Good luck!

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Thanks for the input.

Message edited 8/12/2005 12:34:49 PM.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

I would have someone else do them. Maybe just tell her that your company has an accountant who will do them for you(If you dont mind a white lie)... I dont blame you though, I would be mad too! That's not right!

We pay to have ours done, we've used our accountant for years. We pay $250 and he does both of ours.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Posted by leighla

Thanks for the input.

To further dramatize the story, DH has decided that no matter what I do he is sticking with her. Which means we would have to file separately if I went elsewhere.

I had planned, if I decided to go elsewhere, to sit down with her next year and explain that I was afraid of this kind of issue damaging the otherwise healthy relationship we have so to prevent that I was going to file with someone else. I hoped that would soften the blow.


Geez. At least I have 9 months to stress about it!!

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Posted by CaptainCharisma424

Posted by leighla

Thanks for the input.

To further dramatize the story, DH has decided that no matter what I do he is sticking with her. Which means we would have to file separately if I went elsewhere.

I had planned, if I decided to go elsewhere, to sit down with her next year and explain that I was afraid of this kind of issue damaging the otherwise healthy relationship we have so to prevent that I was going to file with someone else. I hoped that would soften the blow.


Geez. At least I have 9 months to stress about it!!

if you are married, how are you filing separately??

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Posted by CaptainCharisma424

Posted by leighla

Thanks for the input.

To further dramatize the story, DH has decided that no matter what I do he is sticking with her. Which means we would have to file separately if I went elsewhere.

I had planned, if I decided to go elsewhere, to sit down with her next year and explain that I was afraid of this kind of issue damaging the otherwise healthy relationship we have so to prevent that I was going to file with someone else. I hoped that would soften the blow.


Geez. At least I have 9 months to stress about it!!

if you are married, how are you filing separately??

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

I would lie to her if it were Me and say something next year like my office just started offering free tax consulations/preparation etc...And you thought it would be easier, they had all your own W2's etc.

She may know your lying, but oh well, she will have gotten the point.

Iw ould press the amendment issues as well.

Good LuckLau!!

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Message edited 8/12/2005 12:35:14 PM.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Message edited 8/12/2005 12:35:27 PM.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Message edited 8/12/2005 12:35:39 PM.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Just do the taxes on your own. Its not that hard.

Ive been doing mine for eight years now. And I have sold stocks... bought and sold property... its a piece of cake!

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Message edited 8/12/2005 12:35:56 PM.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Did she "get around" to doing DHs taxes on time??

Maybe talk to Dh and stress that the 2 of you need to be a team on this. Was he upset that you had to pay $3k?

Maybe you'll just have to file "married file separately" and tell her the truth. You're more comfortable going to someone who's more conscientious.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

Not for nothing... but I could have probably done a better job on your taxes than your MIL did.

And I am no CPA either.

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

I think you should really hash this out with DH, and then come jointly to a decision about and present it to mom. Maybe DH doesn't realize how important this is to you? My Stepdad has done my taxes for years, but he was nice, and said - hey you're married now, and I don't want to know. Which was very good of him. Maybe if you explain to DH that having mom know all your finances is not such a great idea? Either way, I would try to keep your finances to yourself. I always think the less parents know about your finances as a couple, the better, especially when they WANT to know, if you get what I mean. Good luck

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

I wouldn't want my MIL to know my financial situation, and medle in it. I would go to a different account, or do my taxes myself on that basis. Turbo Tax is very easy to use!

Re: Tricky MIL issue - need advice.

I think you really need to talk to DH about this one and come up with a plan that you can agree to. I think if you are going to have someone other than the 2 of you do taxes, it should be the same person for both of you. We have a friend of DH do our taxes, but we pay him and there is an underlying understanding that if for any reason we are unhappy with his service, we can take our business elsewhere, with no hard feelings. I definitely would have a problem with my taxes not being completed by this time of the year.

The reason I think you should use the same person is that our tax person crunched the #s for filing both jointly and seperately and did the one that would cost us less. He gave us a few tips that would help us as a couple that would help us be better prepared for next year, since this was the first year we filed together. I think if you continue to do it seperately, and are using 2 different people, you might end up paying more eventually than you need to. More importantly, however, is that if you are doing this seperately simply because you can't compromise, it could hurt your relationship.

Message edited 7/25/2005 4:11:57 PM.