OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

He's not sleeping again. Or still...however you want to look at it. Last night was every 2 hours and the night before was every hour. I know many of you are pro-CIO, but I'm not. What else can I do? I'm going to start the crib thing again and while that was going good when he was 5 months old - I broke down and wanted him back in bed with me. So I undid everything. He keeps wanting to nurse and I don't know how to break that. He won't take a bottle and if DH goes to soothe him he freaks. Any suggestions???

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

I am no sleep expert but if you have tried everything, maybe you can try CIO for a few days and see how it works? Your son is over a year old, he definitely should not wake you up every 2-3 to feed during the night...
If not CIO, I really haven't heard other techniques at this stage of the game... Good luck in whatever you do.

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Maybe you can try something called the sleep shuffle since you are against CIO. If you go to the website www.sleeplady.com it tells you about her technique. There is also a forum there that you can join (its free) and speak to other moms about their childrens sleep issues. Its very helpful. I know when it comes to sleep, you can never have too many suggestions. Good luck!!

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

I am reading Healthy Sleep Habits, happy child. GREAT book, great theories..incorporates crying and no cry solutions.

Is there ANY way you can do CIO but have someone ELSE do it and you leave the house?

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

I just wanted to send your way. It's never easy. Hang in there. I hope you find something that works for you!

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

I know CIO might be my only hope but even w/ someone else doing it I just can't. I will try the sleeplady and the healthy habits book. Thanks!

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Girl, you need to face it and let him CIO! If you are really at your wit's end, you may want to try it. At 8 months, I don't think he really still needs night feedings. It's just habit at this point. That's my honest opinion.

However, if you are completely 100% opposed to CIO, I understand. I would start with getting him on a good sleep schedule during the day (how are his naps, btw?) if he's not on one already. And implement an early bedtime. No later than 8pm I would say. Between 6pm -7:30pm is better. Then when he wakes during the night, don't nurse and don't bring him to bed with you. Soothe him in his crib without picking him up.

Have you read the Weissbluth book? Even though he advocates CIO, there is alot of other information in there that can help.

Good luck!

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Alyson is ALMOST 6 months old and just stopped her 4:30-6:30am feeding.

they say at 6 they can go all night without a feeding, 9 months they definitely should be able to go all night.

It's all habit for him! is he teething? allergies? not feeling well?

I think you should try to eliminate one nursing session at a time....it'll be rough, but Joseph REALLY needs some good, undisturbed sleep! He'll be a happier baby!

ETA: I agree with Sandra...Weissbluth helped us and I didn't even do CIO....she'd cry, I'd soothe, she'd go down. I don't think she cried for more than 10 min and I'm overestimating....now she often goes down with no crying and sometimes with just some fussing. She likes for me to stand there and watch her....which I'm fine with. and she is STILL going to bed around 6pm, sometimes 7 if we're running late (and she did that on her own!)

Message edited 6/22/2006 9:35:10 AM.

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

I cant totally relate. I also don't believe in letting babies CIO. My DD is 18 months and I still BF her, and she sleeps in our bed from about 1am-7am, she is in her crib from 9am-1am. Normally she is pretty good, but at times she will start waking up every 3 hours to nurse (aka use me as a pacifier) Since this isnt a good habit, I have DH take her back to her crib and put her to sleep. She usually cries with DH for 5-10 minutes calling for me, but eventually goes to sleep and then goes back to a decent nights sleep, not perfect but decent. So my suggestion would be to let him 'CIO' WITH your DH for a few nights.

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Posted by BabyAvocado

Girl, you need to face it and let him CIO! If you are really at your wit's end, you may want to try it. At 8 months, I don't think he really still needs night feedings. It's just habit at this point. That's my honest opinion.

However, if you are completely 100% opposed to CIO, I understand. I would start with getting him on a good sleep schedule during the day (how are his naps, btw?) if he's not on one already. And implement an early bedtime. No later than 8pm I would say. Between 6pm -7:30pm is better. Then when he wakes during the night, don't nurse and don't bring him to bed with you. Soothe him in his crib without picking him up.

Have you read the Weissbluth book? Even though he advocates CIO, there is alot of other information in there that can help.

Good luck!

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

I have no advice since CIO was what worked for us. I hope you find a solution soon

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Does he take a bottle during the day? Maybe you can pump and feed him and then you can see if he is gettin g up because he is hungry.

You know I never let Antonio cio either but I would try every night and put him in his crib. I would lay on my bed next to him and wait. If he fussed I would rub his back and give him the paci. If he started crying I would pick him up rock him a little and put him down again. If he continued to cry I would put him in my bed and once he fell asleep I would make the transfer.

But everynight I did try the crib FIRST and some nights he just falls asleep on his own. Somenights he doesn't. I don't stress it. Whatever works.

As for the night feeding Antonio is down to one and I am not complaining. But when he was sick or if he eats something new he does wake more frequently.

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Posted by CheeChee

Maybe you can try something called the sleep shuffle since you are against CIO. If you go to the website www.sleeplady.com it tells you about her technique. There is also a forum there that you can join (its free) and speak to other moms about their childrens sleep issues. Its very helpful. I know when it comes to sleep, you can never have too many suggestions. Good luck!!

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

I know how you feel because I don't believe in CIO either. Honestly with us it just took a lot of work teaching her how to go to sleep. It started with learning the tired cues then we would have to rock or bounce her to sleep and eventually we were able to put her in her crib awake and she would fall asleep on her own.
There is still no 100% with her though. Many night we have to sit in her room with her or rub her head until she falls asleep which I would rather do than listen to her cry. As for the night waking she really just gave that up on her own. Does he take a pacifier? For us the real turning point came when she learned to find her pacifier on her own. Now when we hear her stir of fuss we watch on the video monitor to see if she's crying because she's trying to find it. Usually once she finds it and gets it in her mouth she's right back to sleep.
I definitely support you in not using CIO. I think if you work with him he will get the hang of it. I know it's exhausting. There are no shoulds with babies. They are all different and all have different needs. You know him best so continue to do what you feel is right for him.
A lot of my friends have read the No Cry Sleep Solution. I haven't read it but maybe it's worth a look.

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

He GOES to sleep fine. And when he wakes it's only to nurse and he goes right back. But as much as it could be WORSE - it should be better.

Thanks for all the advice (and support!) I just went to the library and took out 6 books on sleeping - including weissbluth's, ferber's and the sleeplady's. Wish me luck girls!

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Good Luck - a modified sleeplady thing worked well for us - but only works for daddy in my house - barely works for mommy - maybe daddy should try it!! MY son never woke for food it was mroe from teething, spearation anxiety and just plain wanting to play. I don't believe in CIO - my opinion and has nothing to do with listening to them crying so DH did some reasearch and at about 10 months tried the sleeplady ideas. Took soem time but he eventually learned to soothe himself back to sleep. Unfortunately he is a late teether and I am in teething hell on and off and now we have sleep issues again...but for a few months we had nice sleep!!

If you want more on what we did FM me.

Message edited 6/22/2006 1:59:03 PM.

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Let me know if you find an answer.

Everyone talks about CIO like its a magic bullet if you are willing to do it. I did it by the book for two months (9-11 months) and still had night wakings. Her wake up time in the morning kept getting earlier and earlier, so I added a feeding again and she slept longer. So here I am approaching 15 months still with night wakings.

Guess I'm just unlucky. Hopefully you'll do better and fill me in on how you did it.

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Well, you know me, I'm a huge CIO proponent because it worked so well for us, but if you really don't feel like doing it, which I can understand, the only suggestion I have is to stop feeding Joseph during the night. Think about it - if for months and months and months you woke up every 1-2 hours to eat, it would become habit and you would end up waking up hungry during the night, wouldn't you? Same thing is happening to him - I'm sure at some point he really WAS hungry because he was going through a growth spurt, but now, at 9 months, metabollically he should be able to go through the night without any meals. So, if he wakes, by all means, don't let him cry by himself in his crib - go to him, comfort him, give him his paci, hold him, but don't feed him. I would think, eventually he'll learn that if he wakes, he's not getting any food, so he'll just sleep instead

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Posted by Bxgell2

Well, you know me, I'm a huge CIO proponent because it worked so well for us, but if you really don't feel like doing it, which I can understand, the only suggestion I have is to stop feeding Joseph during the night. Think about it - if for months and months and months you woke up every 1-2 hours to eat, it would become habit and you would end up waking up hungry during the night, wouldn't you? Same thing is happening to him - I'm sure at some point he really WAS hungry because he was going through a growth spurt, but now, at 9 months, metabollically he should be able to go through the night without any meals. So, if he wakes, by all means, don't let him cry by himself in his crib - go to him, comfort him, give him his paci, hold him, but don't feed him. I would think, eventually he'll learn that if he wakes, he's not getting any food, so he'll just sleep instead

Re: OK - I'm getting to my wits end....

Posted by jcndd

Posted by Bxgell2

Well, you know me, I'm a huge CIO proponent because it worked so well for us, but if you really don't feel like doing it, which I can understand, the only suggestion I have is to stop feeding Joseph during the night. Think about it - if for months and months and months you woke up every 1-2 hours to eat, it would become habit and you would end up waking up hungry during the night, wouldn't you? Same thing is happening to him - I'm sure at some point he really WAS hungry because he was going through a growth spurt, but now, at 9 months, metabollically he should be able to go through the night without any meals. So, if he wakes, by all means, don't let him cry by himself in his crib - go to him, comfort him, give him his paci, hold him, but don't feed him. I would think, eventually he'll learn that if he wakes, he's not getting any food, so he'll just sleep instead

That's what I WANT to do but then I'm afraid he'll get used to something else - like rocking him back to sleep (did that 3x last night) or sitting and watching his mobile. Will I be trading one for another???