Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

I was wondering you and your husband discussed the possiblity of infertility before you got married? I don't mean that you knew there would be a problem..but did you discuss that IF there was a problem you would want to use medical interventions or would not want to? Were you on the same page?

I am asking because during our pre-cana I brought it up and people looked at me like I was crazy for even THINKING it could ever be an issue. Since we have very close friends who were dealing with it, Scott and I discussed it. Of course, being IN it would probably have changed some of the discussion because emotions would have been a part of the equation.

Just curious. Are you and your husband on the same page about treatments,options etc..now?

to all of you...I can't imagine the pain and heartbreak and poking around by doctors!!
May 2006 bring you your miracles

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

DH and I didn't really discuss this. But fortunately we are in agreement on everything so far. We have very similar morals and values so that probably helps -- that Catholic upbringing, although he says he is agnostic!

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

My dh and I definitely spoke about it although there was no 'real' indication that there would be a problem. My dh is up for 'anything and everything". He will do whatever it takes......and has been my source of strength through this all.

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

DH and I spoke about it...he said he would never go through fertility treatments and didn't want me to do IVF...we would look into adoption. When it came time to face reality....he changed his tune and we went through with the fertility treatments (I only got as far as 5 IUI's and never got to IVF). He knew that it was important to me to have a baby and feel pregnancy. We may still consider adoption in the future, as I am aware this is the one and only time I'm going to be PG. I don't think I could go through all of this again.

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

We've never discussed it previously, although we've been talking about it more recently.

Having a good support system is very important. BTW, I've met Kara and Michelle's DHs, and they are wonderful men!!!!! Truly supportive and so full of love for their wives!!!

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

Posted by karacg

Posted by mrsmck

Having a good support system is very important. BTW, I've met Kara and Michelle's DHs, and they are wonderful men!!!!! Truly supportive and so full of love for their wives!!!

Oh you just made me cry!! Thanks Donna. Sometimes I forget how great he really is....

As is your DH!!

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

No we never discussed it at all.
BUT I had two PG's with my ex and DH knew I had a stillborn and an M/C so he was prepared that when we did get PG I might have complications, but b/c I told him how easily ( 1st try both times) I had gotten PG before, DH and I were both expecting to get PG very eeasily again...so it was a shick to us to have to face this.

Thankfully we both have been more or less on the same page all along about what we are going to do.

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

We haven't discussed it yet, but his sister thought she might not be able to bear a healthy child (CF is in her genes, and if her DH had it, their child definitely would).

They decided that if they couldn't have a "natural" child together that they would break up!!!!!! What?!?!?!?

We definitely didn't agree that that was the answer. They felt that they would only accept a natural child, nothing else. That's pretty selfish IMHO, and we said we would cross that bridge when and if we got to it.


I was tested for the CF gene and I don't have it.....

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

Well we always spoke about having kids and how many before we got married and also spoke about what "if" we cant too, not that we knew of any problems. We are in total agreement with whatever outcome.

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

We never discussed it previously, who wouldve thunk it?? WE talk about it all the time now. He is not exactly on the same page I am but is 100% behind me. Does that make sense?

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

Yes, but only because so many couples around us had issues. One of hubbies biggest fears is mulitples (my brother and SIL have twins via IVF). We would probably pursue other avenues (such as adoption) prior to other things, if needed.

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

Not really I use to mention to him what if and he would say don't worry we won't have problems...yeah right.

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

We definitely spoke about it before hand. I got diagnosed with PCOS about 2 months before I got engaged so we knew that I might have a problem getting pg. My doctor has us trying on our own for a few months. If nothing happens that we have to move onto whatever the next avenues are for us.

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

We never discussed it. We felt we would just see what happens. I already told him(after we started) that if we cant, yes, I will be upset but I do have a beautiful 8mos niece and 2 1/2 nephew who I already dote on and he has his daughter as long as we have each other we will be fine. My aunt and uncle almost got divorced because she couldnt have a child I wouldnt want to lose my dh over something like this, and yes, we both would look into adoption, its the expense we're not sure if we can handle.

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

me and my husband talked about it before maariage- i think it should be discussed - one of my parents friends are going through IV and it is hard

i have a lot of allergies to emds so we agreed natural or adoption

Re: Did you and DH discuss infertility prior to marriage?

No, because we never even thought that we would have a problem at all