LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Posted By Message

Ookpik
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/06

726 total posts

Name:

Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

I'll give you a brief explanation:
My dad is almost 80 and not in good health. I am one of 4 children and my DH and I want to buy his house.
He's offering the house to us at 25% off market value as our share of the inheritance.
Although the 25% off would help us A LOT, it's not fair to the other 3 children since he could, technically, spend all the remaining money and they get nothing after his death. My father refuses to accept full market value (I'm wondering if there's an alterior motive going on here).
Has anyone been in a similar situation and if so, how did you resolve it?
Any advice would be great!!
TIA!

Posted 3/24/06 10:54 PM
 
Prudential Douglas Elliman Real Estate
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource
  |   Long Island Weddings

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

We bought DH's parents house for fair market value. My only advice is to talk to your siblings about it and make sure they are ok with it. Also, get an inspection, we didn't since ILs thought they knew everything that was wrong with the house and it's been a nightmare since the code has changed a lot since they bought the house nearly 40 years ago.

Posted 3/24/06 11:18 PM
 

Ookpik
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/06

726 total posts

Name:

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Posted by sarahsmommy

We bought DH's parents house for fair market value. My only advice is to talk to your siblings about it and make sure they are ok with it.



Thanks for answering! Chat Icon
This is the root of my problem...my siblings aren't ok with it. I don't blame them if they're angry my father wants to give us such a big break but we're willing to pay market value. I've thrown some suggestions around to my dad (things like split to profit 5 ways at 20% each, etc. to be fair) but nothing is being well-received.
Does your DH have siblings and did they have any issues?
We'll definitely get an inspection!!

Posted 3/24/06 11:30 PM
 

Karen
Just chillin'!!

Member since 1/06

9690 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

That's a tough one - $$ does strange things to people.

What if you took the other 25% and split it between the siblings yourself - don't even get your dad involved. Would that work??

Posted 3/25/06 8:31 AM
 

emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!

Member since 5/05

4457 total posts

Name:
Mama

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

sticky situation, I would definitely speak with your siblings, or ask for their inheritance ot be givent o them NOW as well so your father can watch his family enjoy their inheritance rather than be money given out of a result of his death.
I think everyone gets equal, if not the others may feel resentment towards you. Good luck Chat Icon Make sure nothing is said or done behind the others' backs, I think this causes more problems and is so horrible

Posted 3/25/06 9:02 AM
 

Ookpik
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/06

726 total posts

Name:

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Posted by emilain

sticky situation, I would definitely speak with your siblings, or ask for their inheritance ot be givent o them NOW as well so your father can watch his family enjoy their inheritance rather than be money given out of a result of his death.
I think everyone gets equal, if not the others may feel resentment towards you. Good luck Chat Icon Make sure nothing is said or done behind the others' backs, I think this causes more problems and is so horrible



This is exactly what has happened and nothing has even happened yet! My siblings already are completely against me even though no agreements, paperwork, etc. has been done.
I've told my dad that it's not fair and it should be equal and his response every time is, "To hell with them" Chat Icon
I don't know how to make this fair, even though it's not really up to me. But my siblings have made this up to me.
Thanks for your responses everyone!!

Posted 3/25/06 11:06 AM
 

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Posted by Ookpik

Posted by sarahsmommy

We bought DH's parents house for fair market value. My only advice is to talk to your siblings about it and make sure they are ok with it.



Thanks for answering! Chat Icon
This is the root of my problem...my siblings aren't ok with it. I don't blame them if they're angry my father wants to give us such a big break but we're willing to pay market value. I've thrown some suggestions around to my dad (things like split to profit 5 ways at 20% each, etc. to be fair) but nothing is being well-received.
Does your DH have siblings and did they have any issues?
We'll definitely get an inspection!!



Dh has a brother. Part of the deal was that we had to give our co-op to his brother as our downpayment on the house (so technically no money changed hands, it was just a transfer of ownership). Since we didn't get an inspection and didn't think there was much wrong with the house, just cosmetic stuff, we didn't argue that we were still paying market value but BIL was getting an apt. We were in a better place financially than him and everyone would have somewhere to live that they could afford. Now that we have had to spend a lot of money on some major problems with the house, we're a lot more bitter about the whole situation. We've had to agree with ILs that we won't discuss anything about the house with them, before that DH had some really ugly conversations with them.

In retrospect, it wasn't a good deal for us, but a lot of it was our fault for not getting an inspection. If it's causing so much stress with your siblings now, I'd just pass on the deal and find another house that you can afford. That way your dad can sell to a stranger and if when the time comes there is money left it's all split evenly among all the sibs. Just easier that way.

Posted 3/25/06 11:21 AM
 

nov04libride
big brother <3

Member since 5/05

14672 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

I would normally say do not buy it. It is not worth the conflict within the family, and I see their point. Would you buy the house for market value?

What if your father stays in the home, and you care for him? Then the money isn't really being "given," because you would be helping him a tremendous amount. Hiring an aide would be a much better quality of life than him living in a nursing home.

Posted 3/25/06 11:59 AM
 

Ookpik
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/06

726 total posts

Name:

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Yikes--I'm so sorry that happened Cathy!! I really think this type of thing brings out the absolute worst in families!
The problem with having my dad living there is he's a severe alcoholic, amongst other things. I definitely wouldn't feel safe with him living there-especially with my daughter around.
It really is stinky because the house is huge, on an acre in a great community. He's offering us a great price for it but it's causing such a problem. We're thinking of backing out but when I told my father I wanted to since it was causing problems, he wouldn't accept that. I think he's geuinely excited about going to a senior community and only wants to sell the house to family.

Posted 3/25/06 1:45 PM
 

csorisi
My 2 LOVES

Member since 11/05

1984 total posts

Name:
Corinne

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Like everyone said & it seems it has already started you might want to sit down, you, your siblings & your dad and discuss this maybe they will see it differently. It isn't like you are getting the house for free he is selling it to you. If you get hte house i am assuming that you are agreeing to get less than your siblings if your father should have anything left should he pass away.

This was an issue with my mom & her siblings but it was a little bit different. My aunt bought a house when she moved which had an apartment so my grandparents could live there. My grandparents gave my aunt a decent amount toward the downpayment. There was a big discussion because when she sold her house after a divorce she didn't give the money back to my grandparents. My mom & my aunt had a huge discussion with their parents & my other aunt & they finally decided that the money she got from teh sale was part of her inheritance and that she would get a reduction in her inheritance if & when the time comes. It ended up working out find and didn't create a big deal but I remember it being a problem at first. It is all about everyone getting equally & unless that happens nobody will be happy.


Is there any other sibling that wants the house or do they all own their own homes already?

Posted 3/25/06 2:18 PM
 

hazeleyes33
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

13060 total posts

Name:
Ginger

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Posted by Ookpik

I'll give you a brief explanation:
My dad is almost 80 and not in good health. I am one of 4 children and my DH and I want to buy his house.
He's offering the house to us at 25% off market value as our share of the inheritance.
Although the 25% off would help us A LOT, it's not fair to the other 3 children since he could, technically, spend all the remaining money and they get nothing after his death. My father refuses to accept full market value (I'm wondering if there's an alterior motive going on here).
Has anyone been in a similar situation and if so, how did you resolve it?
Any advice would be great!!
TIA!



My dh and I bought my parents house. We paid market value and my sister was still in college so she was no where near buying a house.

Posted 3/25/06 4:24 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

If your father is in his 80's & is considering selling the house at 25% less market value, I would suggest consulting an elder care attorney.

My grandmother was just put into a nursing home. Her home was put into a trust so that it doesn't sell until she passes away. Medicaid/Medicare can't touch the house.

There are numerous issues you can face with this. With Medicare/Medicad try to go after it during their "lookback period"? If he needs to go into a nursing home, who will pay for it? Is it more beneficial for him to "gift" you the house each year if he's planning on living it with you? He can leave you the house - and you inherit at market value - he wouldn't have to pay capitol gains (not sure how much the hosue is worth, he may not have to pay at all).

In addition to the family, there are other issues you need to address (mainly the care of your dad). An attorney can help you out with that & it's the perfect reason to ask your dad to get his wishes down in writing.

eta. Honestly, your dad can leave his entire estate to you. Inheritance issues bring out the worst in people. If it's an area you love & you want the house, I would buy it. You're going to have issues with your siblings regardless of the house. How would you feel if you opted out of the house because of this & one of your siblings bought it?

Message edited 3/26/2006 8:11:14 PM.

Posted 3/26/06 8:05 PM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

I have not bought a house from a parent, but have been through the distribution of the estate with my siblings. I would recommend that if you are going to buy the house, insist that you buy it at market value or you won't buy it.

As other people have said, $ does strange things to people and things that are minor disagreements have a tendency to remain in your mind for a long time after the estate has been settled. If your siblings are already telling you they have a problem with it, I imagine they are saying even worse things when you are not around. If they feel things are unfair, they will hold a grudge. The other thing to consider is that they all have an emotional tie to the house, and they might just be having a problem with your dad selling it at all, and you are the easiest target for their frustration, anger or disappointment. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/26/06 8:28 PM
 

Ookpik
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/06

726 total posts

Name:

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Thank you everyone for your advice!
Your feedback is excellent...we're definitely at a crossroad about this. Feelings of resentment, anger have already been directed at me unfairly. I think the suggestion to seek out an elder care attorney is great! I'm concerned about the house being taken away if he needs nursing home care...
Thanks again!!

Posted 3/26/06 10:10 PM
 

MsG
Should be working

Member since 5/05

2824 total posts

Name:
G

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

My MIL offered to sell her house to us, for less than market value. It was tempting, b/c it is a bigger house than we could have afforded otherwise, but we saw that there could be too many strings attached - like my BIL would want to live with us (he was 17 at the time), and my MIL would want to stay with us when visting from Florida. We never wanted my BIL to feel he had been left out, even though he never voiced concern over that, but he was also too young to maybe see it that way.

In the end, we decided against it, b/c it would just come with too many strings attached and we could see problems down the road.

Posted 3/27/06 7:19 AM
 

colesmom
Brady's mom too!

Member since 5/05

1989 total posts

Name:
Lea

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Posted by nrthshgrl

If your father is in his 80's & is considering selling the house at 25% less market value, I would suggest consulting an elder care attorney.

My grandmother was just put into a nursing home. Her home was put into a trust so that it doesn't sell until she passes away. Medicaid/Medicare can't touch the house.

There are numerous issues you can face with this. With Medicare/Medicad try to go after it during their "lookback period"? If he needs to go into a nursing home, who will pay for it? Is it more beneficial for him to "gift" you the house each year if he's planning on living it with you? He can leave you the house - and you inherit at market value - he wouldn't have to pay capitol gains (not sure how much the hosue is worth, he may not have to pay at all).

In addition to the family, there are other issues you need to address (mainly the care of your dad). An attorney can help you out with that & it's the perfect reason to ask your dad to get his wishes down in writing.

eta. Honestly, your dad can leave his entire estate to you. Inheritance issues bring out the worst in people. If it's an area you love & you want the house, I would buy it. You're going to have issues with your siblings regardless of the house. How would you feel if you opted out of the house because of this & one of your siblings bought it?



Excellent advice. We are going through the process of buying my grandmother's house and are dealing with an eldercare attorney. You can FM for more info. if you'd like

Posted 3/27/06 7:38 AM
 

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Posted by Ookpik

Thank you everyone for your advice!
Your feedback is excellent...we're definitely at a crossroad about this. Feelings of resentment, anger have already been directed at me unfairly. I think the suggestion to seek out an elder care attorney is great! I'm concerned about the house being taken away if he needs nursing home care...
Thanks again!!



Definately see an eldercare attorney with your siblings. Medicaid went through a big change this year, including a 5 year asset lookback period versus 3 years, so you all need to be sure you all understand the situation. Even if you don't buy the house and he sells to someone else, it's important to be aware of the system.

Posted 3/27/06 11:16 AM
 

DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

What if you bought it under fair market value and then refi and give the proceeds evenly divided among the siblings? Minus applicable taxes, etc. Definitely needs to be done with an atty and you also want a clause that they can not expect proceeds in the future.

Posted 3/27/06 1:15 PM
 

princess99
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3944 total posts

Name:
ME

Re: Has anyone here bought a home from a parent?

Both my parents have passed away. We took the fair market value at the time of death, took off what was left of the mortgage that I was paying, and then split it in half the value of the house. ( It is just me and my sister.) I then " bought her out" of her half of the house. We then paid off the balance of the house, which was not much, and then refiananced and put me and DH name on the house. Hope this helps.
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Hugs to you , this can be a stressful time.

Message edited 3/27/2006 3:47:32 PM.

Posted 3/27/06 3:46 PM
 
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
Guess what Dh bought home from dessert luvsbob4603 8/16/06 17 Families Helping Families ™
We bought the first item for our home expansion !!! MommaG 8/2/06 8 Home
What is one thing you wish the home you bought had? danielleandscott 1/27/06 53 Home
Gravy: Store bought or home made? baghag 11/23/05 23 Families Helping Families ™
Question about pet's behavior when both 'parent's' aren't home. VirginiaDeb 7/20/06 9 Pets
Fun Topic...What do you do that you swore you never would as a parent? ddunne2 1/25/06 9 Parenting
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 591601 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
1 More Rep
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows