Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

I am having such an emotional day. I truly believed that this month was ours and that we would be blessed with a christmas miracle. Af isnt even due yet but I cant help but think that it didnt work

I made myself too excited and depended on getting a perfect christmas gift too much. I shouldnt have "put all my eggs in one basket" because if we get a BFN...I think its bound to ruin my christmas. I technically should start testing on christmas eve and it just seems like it would be too good to be true if it were positive.

I post these feelings because I know that so many of you feel the exact same way. Some days I have myself convinced to relax and it will happen and maybe just maybe this is it for us but other days I am just at a loss. Dh looked at me as if I were crazy earlier because I heard the gloria estefan song..I cant remember the name right now..about seeing christmas through your childs eyes and I burst into tears.

So many of you are going through so much more than me and have been through so much more and I want to give you all the credit in the world. I just sometimes feel like it will never happen and right now I guess I feel like if it doesnt happen for us at christmas..such a magical time..then it wont happen at all...stupid I know!

I just needed to let this go..its been building inside me for a while. It doesnt help that my dh has been sick and in the worst of moods. I know we still have a chance but I am just losing hope quickly. I am sorry to be such a downer...I just know that I can always come here to vent my true feelings.

Message edited 12/11/2005 7:18:37 PM.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Sending you lots of

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Oh Noreen i know what you are going through. But it will happen it would be great if it was this month but if its not your month try and think positive ( i know easier said than done) at least you knwo you are ovulating you are using the cbm and you are on the right track. Im here if you need to call you knw im just a phone call a way.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. Don't apologize, a lot of us girls feel the same way. Just remember this long journey is going to be so worth it when your time comes!

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Dont apologize. I go through this every month. WE are doing IVF the first week in January and I have been getting upset that I am so excited because if it doesnt work I will be a wreck.

BUt somehow we get through it, even when we cant imagine how.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

I feel very much the same way. I'm not sure I have any useful advice. I've been trying to keep busy and keep my mind off things.

I really really hope that you get your Christmas BFP. But I know if you don't you will be strong and able to handle it. I know it's hard, but you CAN do this!!

Lots of baby dust to you.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Your not alone believe me I am right there with you. I will pray for you to get your BFP but don't give up so quickly! We are here for you.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Noreen... I'm so sorry you are feeling this way but it's completely normal. Unfortunately, no matter what we say or anyone else for that matter, it doesn't make the feeling go away.

One thing I have learned while traveling down this road is that I have every right to feel whatever it is I am feeling...if I'm sad, I'm sad; if I'm angry, I'm angry; if I am jealous; I'm jealous. It's very important that we allow ourselves to validate these feeling because the logical side of us makes us think we are wrong.

Another thing I learned, is develop your support system. I kept a lot of what I was feeling to myself and didn't share with anyone. I have slowly allowed people in and tell them what I need. For example, my sister wouldn't ask how everything was going because she was afraid to upset me. However, I needed her to ask because I wouldn't come out and say it on my own.

Just remember that we are all here for you and we are just a post or FM away. Feel free to vent or cry on our shoulder when you need to...

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

I can relate, I also had myself psyched up for a holiday announcement. I keep trying to convince myself to just let things happen on their own, but I can't help stressing it every month. I think your feelings are completely normal, so no need to apologize for them or justify them to any of us. We all feel the same way sometimes.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

No need to apologize!!! I feel the same as you!! We all do that's what we are hear for!! I go my hopes up so high this month!! I was very emotionaly crampy and very sore chest!!! Hoped for that Christmas miracle and guess what AF showed her ugly face 4 days ahead of time!! So frustrating!! Just remember we are all here for oyu and ready and willing to talk anytime!!

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Don't ever feel bad for being honest.
We all have these days where we feel it will never happen- I totally understand.

Re: Just needed to get it out...dont read if you dont wanna be bored.

Im sorry you are feeling down. You dont know that this month wasnt yours yet.
Dont give up hope.
We are all here for you....dont ever be sorry for any emotions you express