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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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HELP! Sorry if long need advice SIL related... so angry!
Okay, I need advice. My (*^%$ SIL is getting on my nerves AGAIN. It seems like she treats me like a child, and she is the only one to get hurt, and never apologizes to me. MY MIL passed in December, and we have been emptying the house out. My BIL and SIL are buying out the brothers. Okay, so there was this bridge table and a friend of the family's dad passed and she was having people over at her house for the shiva, and asked to borrow the table, SIL and BIL do not live in the house yet, they did not close on it yet. So SIL asked if I wanted this table , I said no she can have it. Well, this person wanted to borrow it and her friend called me and asked , so I asked DH he said okay, it is okay to lend it to her. Well, SIL found out and FLIPPED! How can I loan out the table? Why did I offer it to loan out... yada yada yada. I did not offer it, I was asked and secondly I totally forgot she wanted it when they move in, and thirdly it was to loan, and give back she knows this woman well too. Then she had the audacity to call the friend up to see if I offered out the table! THE NERVE! This is just one example of somee things she has done to me since her marriage last year. On her wedding day she was drunk and said to me why do I look so tired at 4 AM , what is the matter, did I not have a life in my 20's and go out clubbing all nite? Mind u she knows I had to deal with sick parents and they are both deceased now, and I was not a " club" girl. I am glad I was there for my parents. Then this week she said I manipuate my DH to tell his brother things about money with the estate, when DH tells him things on his own about paying bills etc for when he owns the house. So I am basically being called a liar, and a manipulative person! I am so angry and hurt and she has been bad mouthing me to my BIL's. What do I do???
Message edited 7/1/2006 11:25:39 PM.
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Posted 7/1/06 11:02 PM  |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
anyone?
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:09 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
She is a piece of work.
She has that much free time to freak out over a table that is not even hers. She must have no REAL problems.
If I were you I'd try to distance myself from her as much as possible. Try not to be alone with her, especially not w/o DH. You were just trying to help out a friend but your SIL is apparently rapped up in her own little world and everything must be about her.
ETA: I would also talk to DH and make it clear to him that he must handle everything with his brothers w/o you being directly present. Whether you give your DH advice or not, SIL will say you are manipulating. Maybe if you physically back off and are not present she will have less to complain about.
She seems like a person who just likes to look for an excuse to pick a fight.
Message edited 7/1/2006 11:12:50 PM.
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:10 PM |
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Kelly04
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/05 841 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
Im sorry you have to deal with that... I would be very frustrated. I don't have any good advice for you....but if you have the guts I would call her out on her behavior....tell her that you don't like that way she speaks to you or about you and that its inappropriate.
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:10 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
I think she needs to mind her own damn business. You should distance yourself from her...she's bad news...you don't need that in your life.
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:12 PM |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
We were invited to a family gathering for the 4th and I regret saying we would go.... ugh....... I might cancel. I hate confrontation , and I am a very easy going person, and think she is taking advantage and trying to play me for a fool.
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:12 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
If you do go and she starts giving you a hard time, tell her off. She sounds like she could use a good beating...
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:13 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
Posted by princess99
We were invited to a family gathering for the 4th and I regret saying we would go.... ugh....... I might cancel. I hate confrontation , and I am a very easy going person, and think she is taking advantage and trying to play me for a fool.
If it's at her house, no way would I EVER go. That's her turf and she will have the upper hand.
No WAY would I have her over to my house either, at least not for the immediate future.
If it's a neutral location, maybe I would think about it but a lot of people would have to be there and I would keep my distance.
If you do decide not to go, both you and DH must stay away together. If he goes alone, she will interpret that as her being successful, she must have caused you to have a fight... I know sick, but this is how sick minds work. Then again, if both of you stay away, she'll think she "won" anyway.
I'm going through something right now with my brother... I had to throw him out of my house last weekend. I have absolutely no plans on talking with him for a while, unfortunately, we both are responsible for taking care of my Dad so eventually I will have to speak with him but now only in the presence of my DH.
Message edited 7/1/2006 11:18:38 PM.
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:17 PM |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
She makes herself look like the perfect angel to the family! That is part of the problem. And on top of it my BIL is in awe with her family- I do not know why but he is..............
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:17 PM |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
IF Dh says something, his brother will say, "Sue told you to say that, you never talk up like that" Mind u it is advice on a house and he has been paying the mortgage for almost 2 years. So, I told DH I think they are taking advantage of you and that is not nice and underestimating his intelligence.
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:20 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
Eventually, her true colors will come out.
Karma is a biotch and her "butt" will get kicked by it, may be sooner or may be later.
TRust me, something will happen and she will get caught for the nasty witch that she is.
Does she have any sisters? I'm thinking she has this "dominant female" thing going on? As if she has to be the only female. Is she a spoiled Daddy's girl?
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:21 PM |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
She is the oldest .
Message edited 7/1/2006 11:28:04 PM.
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:23 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP! Sorry of long need advice SIL related... so angry!
Posted by princess99
IF Dh says something, his brother will say, "Sue told you to say that, you never talk up like that" Mind u it is advice on a house and he has been paying the mortgage for almost 2 years. So, I told DH I think they are taking advantage of you and that is not nice and underestimating his intelligence.
Then DH needs to limit his conversations to objective/factual discussion...
"Just to let you know the hot water heater is 9 years old. Usually, their lifespans, on average, are 10 years."
NOT
"You know you really should replace the hot water heater soon."
or...
"The electric bills for the month last year were..."
NOT
"This house is pretty expensive/inexpensive on electricity"
Anything at all that can be interpreted as opinion will be turned around on both of you.
People like this are sick and it is so stressful dealing with them because you have to watch EVERY word you say and how you say it
We had to tell my FIL that he couldn't joke about us in front of my brother because last weekend my brother started telling DH how much I "boss him around" and how he has "no backbone" because my FIL made a joke along those lines. My FIL was actually giving me a compliment about how I got my DH motivated in a certain area of life but all I heard was how I am a biotch
This is why we have caller ID
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| Posted 7/1/06 11:28 PM |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: HELP! Sorry if long need advice SIL related... so angry!
Thank you so much for all of your replies. It makes it seem more in perspective right now. I really appreciate all the advice and support.
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| Posted 7/2/06 12:45 PM |
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