If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

are they friends enough to still be in the same room?

My inlaws are fighting about who gets to come to NC for Christmas. I have never really dealt with this. They want DH to chose. which I think is complete BS.

His parents pulled the same thing when we got married, and his dad was a no show because his mom would not back down...

is this normal? for divorces I mean? DH said he doesn't want either parent here, that he doesn't want the drama... this people drive me nuts.

so basically, is it too much to expect them to be civil at the hospital together, stay in seperate hotels, but do christmas morning together?

TIA

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

There is no way you or your DH should make the decision as to who comes. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. If I were you I would tell them to work it out amongst themselves and just let you guys know the final decision.

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

It was a bad divorce, but I mean how selfish can you be? DH justs wants to show off the baby...BIL's wife is also mad at my MIL and SIL.

So if mil or sil go, my bil will not be going. I just wonder if it is too much for Leo to just have one moment, you know?

FIL and BIL were absent from wedding. No one came to see him graduate or run the marathon...Leo loves my family a lot, but sometimes it is more hurtful to see them crazy supportive of me and him. I am sure he wants his side representing a little..

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

Yes thankfully my dad and stepmom and my mom all get along, and have been together many times in the same room especially over the holidays. My mom and stepmom actually talk when around eachother, very civil. oh and my mom and dad talk too.

Message edited 8/10/2006 7:47:04 PM.

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

My parents are divorced and do not get along at all. They would never both be in the same room except for larger parties like our son's baptism where they were at seperate tables.

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

thanks for the different insights..I am trying to take a new approach with inlaws. I want my baby to have grandparents. MIL is not even 45 yet, so it would be a great thing to have such an active grandmother. I am trying to put all my issues with them aside, but they make it so hard.

for those going through it, my heart goes out to you. such a tug of war scene..

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

Actually I would do never play into the game. I would tell them both over 3 way calling....we would like to see you both and our child needs the love of both of you. We hope you can put aside your issues to support us and our child.

My parents are divorced but can easily (Now) be in the same room together and often are. My stepmother and mom are friendly and we do things all together sometimes (for events).

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

my parents have been divorced since I was 3 years old (i'm almost 31)- so they have put everything behind them- they are both remarried. They get a long well- thank goodness- at my wedding they all sat at the same table w/ their parents (grandparents and 2 sets of step grandparents)- it's a realy blessing.

as for my IL's- they are divorced & don't really get along too well- but it's more on my MIL side than FIL- she's pretty easily coerced though- but I don't think they'll be visiting at the same time- which will be easier for me.

Since I am due end of NOV I think my MIL and BIL will come up this year for XMAS.

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

I was so angry for you yesterday when I read this post, but now that I've calmed down, I have some advice... Do you think it would help if you called all of these people yourself and explained how important it is for them to support leo in this exciting time? Maybe you and your new baby can help bring the family closer together. Let them know that the time they would have to spend together would be pretty limited, but it would be wonderful, for everyone, if they could put their differences aside and put Leo and the new baby first (for a change-- but don't say that part.) Maybe you can come up witha schedule so their visists aren't exactly the same time, but maybe just overlap for a day or two.
I don't know if any of this helps. I just feel so bad for you guys. Families can be such azzholes sometimes and can take away from such amazing experiences.
Look on the upside, atleast they wantto come see you guys, my SIL is yet to acknowledge the fact that I'm pregnant and I'm due in 10 weeks.

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

It sounds like they are all being so selfish.......you and Leo are having a baby and thats what is important right now not this petty nonsense
Tell them they need to work it out themselves and grow up

Re: If your parents or inlaws are divorced...

I can totally relate - my IL's just recently divorced last year and my MIL REFUSES to be in the same room as my FIL. It's disgusting what she will put DH and I through. She has said she won't come to the hospital, baby naming- anything - if FIL is there. It's so stressful and I really really hate her for doing this to us!