I was so mad at my dh last night...

I was so upset that AF showed yesterday that because I was at work and coulnt cry, I started crying when I got into the car to go home and couldnt stop. I didnt even make it to my nail appt. Well, when he got home he tried to calm me down and I was so upset that I said to him "Even your sister who is a drunk" has two beautiful two children. Well, our family had no idea we were trying, right after I said that he walked out of the room and 5 minutes later had my sister on the phone and told her everything. He said I needed someone to talk to and that I should be able to talk to my sister. It did help a little but when she said "I am so sorry your having problems I got pregnant the first time we tried both times" that didnt help. I did forgive him,, but I still think he was wrong for telling my sister things I wasnt ready to share.

Re: I was so mad at my dh last night...

I am so sorry Jaimie. I am sorry your AF showed and I am sorry you that your sister although must love you to death said something that would 'hurt me' as well.

It's very hard to speak about these issues with people who have no understanding of them. They will almost always say something that may make us more sad.

This is your griefing stage. When you find out you are not pregnant, take the time to cry your eyes out. Do whatever you need to do. You will see, as time passes you will look forward to the hope of next cycle.

As far as your dh, explain to him what you are going through during your 2ww. You are analyzing your body, you are poas, you are temping, you have to think about this day and night, so when it doesn't work out, it's devastating. Tell him that during this time, you need him to just hold you and not to try to fix you.

Once again, I am very sorry you have to deal with this but someday soon it will be worth it.

Re: I was so mad at my dh last night...

I am so sorry Jaimie It sounds like something my husband would do. In fact he did do that one month come to think of it. Men feel so helpless when we are that upset and they just look to solve problems. Obviously this was his way of "solving" it. Give yourself time to grieve this weekend and FM if you need to. Again, I am so sorry your struggle is still continuing.


Edited for name spelling! Sorry Jaimie- I should proofread!

Message edited 2/11/2006 10:38:32 PM.

Re: I was so mad at my dh last night...

Jaimie,

I am so sorry AF showed and you were put into a position which caused you additional pain.

Re: I was so mad at my dh last night...

yikes, I would have been furious with my DH if he did that. I dont like to be put on the spot and to me that is and I dont like people knowing my business unless I told them about it allready.

and what is she suppose to say to make me feel better- is how I would see it.

Men just dont think, Im sure he meant it in a good way as I would think after I cooled off but I would really explain to him in great detail just how I feel about the whole TTC, the frustration and how I would like to keep it personal especially where family is concerned.


Ps I know exactly how you feel with the constant disappointment when AF arrives, I really do think I have no more tears left for TBAF.

Re: I was so mad at my dh last night...

I hate when husbands do things they think will make you feel better.

I have been going through m/cs and thought my SIL was pg. I have been trying to have a 2nd child and this would have been her 2nd, which would have hurt me. I thought she was pg b/c of something MIL said. I was telling DH and he knows I would never ask MIL outright since she has no idea what we are going through. So he just goes up to her and says "Is Maureen pregnant?" and that I wanted to know. I was going to kill him!! It turns out she wasn't.

The weird thing is that MIL sort of had an idea that something was going on with us and told me that she would ABSOLUTELY tell me if SIL was pregnant and she would tell me if it happened in the future. Well about 6 months later SIL got pg and she DIDN'T tell me!! DH tells me and just blurts it out! Can I kill them BOTH!!