Question for stay at home Moms........

Stay at home moms.........

Dh and I are TTC 'ing. Yesterday my boss of 15 years told me he plans on retiring in about 3-5 years. He is bringing in an associate now . He said I would have a choice to stay with his practice while he sublets out the office. ( I work for a doctor) He will still own the practice and I would oversee it. But the talk of me having kids came up with my boss, it was a little awkward. I am flattered that he would want me to oversee the place. My DH and I started to talk if I can be a stay at home mom, and we figured out we can do it. ( He has tenure and makes a decent salary.) Is anyone a stay at home Mom now and is it rewarding? I was bought up with my dad working and my mom stayed home with me and my sister till we were 18 years old. I have a masters degree, so it is not like I do not have anything to fall back on. I cannot imagine leaving my child with someone else if we can afford not to. So, I guess my question is , is it rewarding to be at home with your kids, what are the pros and cons? Thanks in advance,I guess I just need other views on this................................

Re: Question for stay at home Moms........

ok I worked Fulltime as a med. asst in an er for 7 yrs. My oldest is 10. I always worked fulltime until last year when i relocated to LI. Since last July I have stayed home. It takes some getting used too. My situation is probably a bit different i have no family or friends on LI and we have 1 car so basically i am literally AT home 24/7. It is a change having no adult conversation through out the day......BUT there is nothing like rais ng your baby. I used to be so sad dropping my kids off at daycare especially when they would cry when i left. then by the time i got off from work picked them up cooked dinner it was time for bed. With my 1 yr old i feel a special bond with her since the day she was born I am the one who raised her day/night. I thank FH all the time for giving me the greatest gift of being able to stay home! I still have my days but its the greatest!!!! best of luck

Re: Question for stay at home Moms........

I can only speak for myself, but I find it totally rewarding. I also have a Master's degree and was well regarded at my last position. They were willing to hold my job for me even though I didn't qualify for FMLA.

I think that being a SAHM is the hardest job I've ever had. Some days I'm jealous that DH gets to go to work and have "grown up talk". Talking with my friends (esp. those who have kids) chatting on boards like this and Mommy and me classes have really helped me keep a foot in the "real world".

Since she doesn't speak, I'm challenged daily to figure out what she wants (eat, sleep, change, play). I'm challenged to find new ways to play with her that will help her learn about herself and her environment. But these are fun challenges, at least to me.

It can be frustrating. She had colic for 6 weeks, so there were days where I literally wanted to pull my hair out. I learned that it was ok to put her in her crib and let her cry for a few minutes while I took a shower and composed myself. She's teething now, so some days she whines a lot which can get annoying, at least for me.

But, I get lots of hugs and wet kisses. I get huge smiles and squeals whenever she sees me. She is overall a happy and affectionate baby, and I'd like to think that is in some part due to the one on one attention she gets and that she feels loved every minute of the day. Not to say that she wouldn't be the same way if she was in day care, but it makes me feel like I'm doing a good job with her.

I don't know if I'm really able to put into words how great being a SAHM is for me. I find it really hard to define. Good luck with your decision!

Re: Question for stay at home Moms........

I'm a full time SAHM, although I still do consult on the side for my company if they need me. I find it totally satisfying and rewarding and don't regret not going back FT one bit.

It's all a big change for me, as I worked in my field for 10 years, have a masters and my engineering PE license, and everyone kept asking me why I worked so hard to just give it all up? Well, truth is, the rewards I get from seeing my son, as soon to have baby #2, growing up is more satisfying than getting a pat on the back for busting my *** and putting in long hours on a project.

This of course, is just my opinion and is not meant to insult those that do get pleasure from their work.

Re: Question for stay at home Moms........

I also have my Master's degree and was a teacher for 6 years. It was very difficult to not return to work this year after having the baby. I felt like a part of me was missing...I guess the "adult" side. I loved going to work, having a classroom, teaching, talking with friends/co-workers, etc. Now that I'm home with the baby, I'm happy that I'm bringing him up and not missing a single thing that he may do. I think if I went back to work and put Jared into daycare, my mind would not be at ease. I'm just glad that we can afford to live on one salary for now. It's so difficult in this day and age.

So to answer your question....Yes, it's very rewarding....even though I had to give so much up. I couldn't imagine it anyway else!

Re: Question for stay at home Moms........

Well, I tried going back to work. I thought that maybe if I went back and did something part-time it would be no big deal. Even though it was nice to get back into the "adult world", I missed my baby boy WAYYYYY to much. Everybody told me that it would get easier and while it kind of did, I was just too worried that I'd miss something and I felt bad always having either my mother or my MIL watching him. So, I ended up leaving work for good and I couldn't be happier. I love spending quality time with him and it's nice when the grandma's watch him when they're up to it and not obligated to (not like it was ever a problem for them, but I always felt bad doing it.).

Re: Question for stay at home Moms........

IMO, if you are able to stay home I would definatley do it. The change is very very hard, but when I think of having to leave a 12 week old baby to go back to work, it makes my stomach turn. I plan to go back when we are done having kids and they are school aged. The way I see it is, I have the rest of my life to work and gossip around the water cooler, but only very few years to spend with my son before he grows up and starts school, etc. Sure, some days I drive passed a day care center and just wish I could swing in and drop him off for a couple of hours, but overall it is absolutely worth it...the good, the bad, the sticky, the whinny...its all good!

Re: Question for stay at home Moms........

I am a SAHM also, I absolutely love it and I don't miss work at all. I haven't worked since we moved to Ireland in 2002, then I was a SAHW. My job, in the end, was very stressful and I can't imagine having that stress in my life again. Although being SAHM has its stressful moments the rewards are so much greater than a paycheck. I have a great time with my son, we go to mommy and me classes, take walks, etc. I look forward to seeing all of his firsts and being right there to experience them with him.

I think that if you can afford to stay home it is the best choice you can make for your child (JMO). IMO I don't think anyone can care for your child like a parent.

Re: Question for stay at home Moms........

I went from working non stop- full time, two jobs and finishing my degree... to full time SAHM.. it took some adjusting and a couple of part time jobs through the years for me to realize that bieng a SAHM is EXACTLY what I want to do... Nothing is more rewarding than waking up to my liil one everymorning.. and being able to experience all of his new experiences and words at first hand... He is two and a half, and it is time for me to put him in a pre-pre-school progam, just a couple days a week, and I can barely let go.. but I know it will give me the time I will need after baby #2 comes, to bond just as close...

I used to be onle of those people that would say that I would never want to be a SAHM, but after I met my little one for the first time in delivery I was hooked..

Re: Question for stay at home Moms........

I'm a SAHM too and also feel my son is a very happy boy because of it. There are really great day care centers out there if you research, but the feeling of knowing that I am teaching him pretty much everything he knows is awesome. Rewarding would be an understatement! Every new thing he does I am so grateful that I could be home to see and watch him. And the uncountable amount of hugs and kisses are ultimately the best feeling in the world!

There are times when its VERY, VERY difficult though. And times when I have caught myself screaming I WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK! I CAN"T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! My husband had the joy of hearing me complain from time to time. And I have to say, the only thing that helps is to get out from time to time by yourself. To get a manicure or even to just walk around a store, baby-free.

Good luck with which ever you choose, and remember there is no right or wrong thing to do. Its whats best for you and your family.