so upset with DH- long vent

I really feel like my DH is les considerate than ever now that I'm pregnant. We've always had a pretty good social life- going out with friends or having people over usually once a week or so. But I feel like DH has been in party mode ever since I got my BFP. I feel like he's not understanding at all that it's tough for me to watch him drink with our friends all the time and hang out late when he knows I'm tired.
Like yesterdday, we went out for St. Patricks Day (the parade was yesterday, so it's abog party in our town.) We met up with friends and after watching everyone drink for a while I was just over it and wanted to go home to eat. I told DH I was hungry and he said we'd leave after he was done with his drink. Ok, no problem. So I'm talking to our friends and he walks up with a brand new drink.
So eventually we got back to the house. Our tenant is one of DH's close friends and the two of them invited everyone over for a bbq. I got annoyed with DH because our house wasn't clean and I knew that I was going to have to go home and straighten up with no help from him. So as I'm cleaning the house, he's downstairs drinking with his friends.
So I tried to be a good sport about everything and go dwonstairs to hang out. I had a hamburger and was just not feeling hanging out- everyone was drinking and smoking. And to be perfectly honest, I wanted to be too, but for obvious reasons I need to refrain. So I went upstairs to watch TV.
I tried to go to bed around 11, but they were way too noisy downstairs. I called DH and asked them to keep it down. He said ok, but I was obviously ignored. Our tenants kicthen is right underneath our bedrom, so I could hear them all yelling and playing dice as clear as day- not to mention my bedroom was starting to smell like smoke. So I complained again to DH, and again they didn't do anything.
I finally went into the guest bedroom, because it's over the garage and I could still hear them. By this point it was 1:30am. I called DH for the last time and told him that if they didn't switch rooms I was going to kick him and our tenant out of the house.

I'm just so frustrated with DH. He doesn't seem to be considerate at all, that I've already had to make major changes and sacrifices in my life and he's yet to do anything. I feel completely alone in this, even though he's constantly telling me how much he loves me and he's here to make me happy. But get a couple of drinks in him and the only person he cares about is himself.

Re: so upset with DH- long vent

I completely understand and feel for you. I havent had any major issues with my DH like the night you just described - but little things that have gone on here and there that make me feel like he just doesnt undertstand what its like to be pregnant. He doesnt understand that when I say I need to eat - I mean right now, otherwise Im going to be sick. He doesnt understand why I fall asleep at 0 PM and dont want to go out or stay up with him. I think you need to sit him down and try to explian how he made you feel and that changes need to be made on his part too. Just because you are the one carrying this baby - it is his responsibility to change and make sacrifuce as well. I feel like I have made so many changes (like you said, not being able to stay out late, have a social drink, etc) they should have to change life style in away as well. good luck and feel better sweetie.

Re: so upset with DH- long vent

I'm glad at least one person kind of gets what I'm saying. I'm surprised that after 160 views noone else has experienced anything similar. It makes my DH seem even worse.

Re: so upset with DH- long vent

I am sorry you are having to deal with that

Re: so upset with DH- long vent

Posted by nferrandi

I'm glad at least one person kind of gets what I'm saying. I'm surprised that after 160 views noone else has experienced anything similar. It makes my DH seem even worse.

Message edited 3/13/2006 8:31:18 AM.

Re: so upset with DH- long vent

I think your husband was rude. I think your tenants were also rude. I think some men begin to digress when their wives are pregnant..thinking that they have to party while they still have time.Maybe he needs to understand that having a baby is NOT the end of his fun- it might just be a different kind of fun. Change can often scare people so they go back to something that feels easy and familiar- like hanging out with friends.
I would speak to the tenants and tell them that you do not expect to ever have to call their apartment like that again- whether your DH is down there or not. And tell DH that you deserve more respect than he showed you and how hurt you are.

Re: so upset with DH- long vent

Posted by nferrandi

I'm glad at least one person kind of gets what I'm saying. I'm surprised that after 160 views noone else has experienced anything similar. It makes my DH seem even worse.

Re: so upset with DH- long vent

Unfortunately, we already had our first scan last Friday and that didn't stop his weekend partying. As for the book, I already bought it. lol! He started reading it when we were on a trip, but I don't think he's looked at it since we got home.