CIO moms

I have some questions. We've been using CIO to get Alex to sleep at night (it used to take upwards of 3 hours of rocking/nursing to get her down for the night) and it has *really* worked quite well. Now, I'll put her down each night at 7pm and she's asleep within minutes.

BUT, she's still waking every 2 hours during the night. She hasn't slept for more than 3 hours for about 2 months and I'm at my breaking point. DH and I want to start using CIO during the night. Some questions -

-how do you know if baby really is or isn't hungry or in pain when he/she cries during the night?
-how do you decide when "wake up" time is? i.e. Alex usually starts crying at 5am and then again at 7am. Do I ignore the 5am crying? Do I wait until she wakes up to start her day? Do I decide on a specific time?
-What if she just keeps crying? Do we continue to ignore her or at some point should I go in and pick her up to make sure there isn't a problem?

Thanks in advance!

Re: CIO moms

For my kids I just knew the difference in the type of cries... does that make sense... I could tell if they were really not going to go back to sleep, or if they were just fussing.

Re: CIO moms

Disclaimer: I did not follow the Ferber method exactly nor did I read it. I read Weissbluth and did what I felt was right for Jake.

-how do you know if baby really is or isn't hungry or in pain when he/she cries during the night?

If she's over 11lbs, she is metabolically able to skip a feeding. As for whether or not it's pain...well, you know your baby best and I know that when Jake cries because he's sick or in pain it is definitely different and distinguishable.

-how do you decide when "wake up" time is?

The baby decides, pretty much. But if she hasn't eaten in 12 hrs, I would say it's okay to get up by that point. If she eventually goes back to sleep after crying at 5am, I would let her. Its sounds like she wants her wake up time to be 7am.

-What if she just keeps crying? Do we continue to ignore her or at some point should I go in and pick her up to make sure there isn't a problem?

The level of her crying should determine whether you go in or not and how long you let it go on for. I don't know what other moms would do or say but I never picked him up. You console, calm her down, sing to her, read to her, etc. But do not pick her up. The only time I actually picked him up was when he woke up crying at 11pm one night, and I knew something was wrong - he was sick. It's supposed to go in increments: you go in after 5 mins, then after 10 mins, then after 15, etc. If you want to follow the Ferber method, you should read his book to know exactly what he recommends. I can't give you a definite answer there.

With us Jake never really cried, only fussed ALOT. So it was alot easier. It never took more than 1/2 hr of fussing for him to finally go back to sleep.

For naps, that was a different story. I still don't pick him up, but he definitely cries alot harder. If he's still up after almost an hour of trying to nap, then I give up and skip the nap. That only started happening though when we started napping in the crib.

Re: CIO moms

Re: CIO moms

first off I say get ear plugs! That is the only way I can get through hearing him cry.

We did this and Connor was back to sleeping through the night. Now with more teeth coming in.....

Anyway. I can tell the difference in his crys. If he has a pain you know it. And if the baby is eating what they normally do during the day and are over 11 lbs they should be able to get through the night.

Maybe a bottle at 5:00 am is just what she needs and will then go back to sleep.

Good luck!!

Re: CIO moms

Re: CIO moms

Re: CIO moms

Re: CIO moms

Posted by jcndd
Beth - I also read that if they're waking up at the same time every night it's habit, not hunger. I just started reading the baby whisperer solves all your problems, because, just like Alex, Joseph is waking frequently also. However, last night I kept him up 1/2 hr later than normal (I gave him a longer, later nap than usual) and he woke up only once. Good luck - I'm right there with you with the sobbing!

Re: CIO moms

I also read Weisbluths book - not ferber - and in addition I let Talia guide me as to what she wants...

-how do you know if baby really is or isn't hungry or in pain when he/she cries during the night?

I can tell the difference between her cries.
In addition she is old enough that she doesn't need a middle of the night feeding - so if she cries around that time I ignore it - she always goes back to sleep in a few minutes.


-how do you decide when "wake up" time is? i.e. Alex usually starts crying at 5am and then again at 7am. Do I ignore the 5am crying? Do I wait until she wakes up to start her day? Do I decide on a specific time?

For a while Talia was still taking a 4 am bottle - but since she has stopped she wakes up anywhere between 6-7:30 if she wakes earlier and is looking to eat (like around 5) I feed her and put her right back to bed. I sort have had a 10 hour rule - if she went 10 hours without eating and she was up - I would feed her...but if it's before 7 ish I would put her back to sleep.

-What if she just keeps crying? Do we continue to ignore her or at some point should I go in and pick her up to make sure there isn't a problem?

If she keeps crying - and she is crying HARD - there is another need that is not being met. CIO only works if all other needs are met first (she is dry, full, not sick, etc...)



eta: Just remember - it's only really bad for a few days - then she will catch on and everyone will be much happier!

Message edited 2/22/2006 4:08:07 PM.

Re: CIO moms

-how do you know if baby really is or isn't hungry or in pain when he/she cries during the night?

-For the most part I can tell in his cry... Usually I get up and give him his binky... If he's hungry- Ill know just by the way he s ucks his bink...and pain cry- well then nothing consoles him.... Plus like Sandra said... after 11lbs... they can hold themselves through the night!

-how do you decide when "wake up" time is? i.e. Alex usually starts crying at 5am and then again at 7am. Do I ignore the 5am crying? Do I wait until she wakes up to start her day? Do I decide on a specific time?

Ryan decides it! For the most part we start our day at 5-6am because I gotta get to work... but on the weekends I play it by ear... at 5-6am I know hes waking to eat, because thats our daily routine.... I can tell by looking at him, or laying next to him...whether or not he'll want to go back to bed.

-What if she just keeps crying? Do we continue to ignore her or at some point should I go in and pick her up to make sure there isn't a problem?

From what Ive noticed...Ryan is very habit forming. Ex: If one night he gets up..just cuz, and I decide to give him a bottle to lull him back to sleep... He'll begin to wake every night at that time to eat.... One night of CIO and the habit is broken....

I think you need to go in after 5 min. rub belly, maybe rock her back in forth with your hand (while shes in her crib) say mommy loves you and goodnight.... then give it 10 min. repeat, then give it 15min. then repeat, for me Ive never reached the 20 min. point...

I also think that maybe you should stop feeding her at night...If shes getting enough during the day- right now shes just waking out of habit...just to eat... the 1st night is gonna be rough... But I think you'll see significant difference afterwards!

How are her naps during the day.... MrsR- has taught me how important there day time nap is...Ryans naps every 2-3hrs (even if its just a half an hour) If he skips just one, my whole night gets turned upside down.

Like Jen said- make sure all her needs are met.... and if she is screaming and not letting up... then I would say something is wrong!