UPDATED at bottom, back from doctor - Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Some of you know I work in NYC, my commute is a little under 2 hrs each way between the train and the subway and then walking. So my entire work day is about 12 hours long.

I do 12 flights of stairs each way and never get a seat offered to me on the subway (you've seen my belly...it's pretty obvious I'm PG).

Yesterday, by the time I got to the train I called my husband in tears. I just can't take the commute anymore and the rude people who push me out of the way and cut me off because I'm moving too slow for them...the same people who sit on the subway and pretent they are sleeping so they dont have to offer me a seat.

I just cant take it. Physically its too much for me. I've started getting really really out of breath and my ankels are really swollen by the end of the day.

So today I called in and took a personal day. My boss will make me pay for it tomorrow (that's just how he is).

I have to go to the doctor for my monthly appointment tonight, but I'm not seeing my regular OBGYN, I'm seeing another dr in the group...what should I say to them because I really need to do something about work, cut my hours or something. I just dont know what to do anymore.

I'm sorry this is so long!

ETA: I should also add that Iv e been having cramping for the last few days in my abdomen and I am worried about that too.

Message edited 1/24/2006 8:34:44 PM.

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight?

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight?

No, I have to physically be in the office, so it's really hard. We dont have a LI office either

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight?

My sister had this same problem and she told the dr that it was getting to be too much for her and her dr told her anytime she wanted to go out, he would write the note. I cant see you having a problem, whether it is your dr or an associate, they all are treating you. Just tell them what you said here, I would be very surprised if they dont offer you a note.

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight?

I would tell him exactly what you just wrote all in detail and how you are feeling. Maybe he can write something up so you can cut your work week to 4 days instead of 5.

Could you maybe work from home a couple days a week?

I don't have the commute you have I def admire you for commuting into NYC throughout your pg

I spoke with my boss already, I have a very stressful job that drains me emotionally and my body is dead tired at the end of the day, I gave her a heads up that if my pg takes a turn am cutting my hours back, and she agreed. I just need to make it through FEB.

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight?

Posted by MrsJ

No, I have to physically be in the office, so it's really hard. We dont have a LI office either

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Posted by dandr10199

Posted by MrsJ

No, I have to physically be in the office, so it's really hard. We dont have a LI office either

If you have a note and they don't let you work from home; can you threaten with a lawsuit? I know I am grasping at straws here and I'm not a lawyer. My thoughts are they would rather have you work from home then have a lawsuit.

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Posted by MrsJ

Posted by dandr10199

Posted by MrsJ

No, I have to physically be in the office, so it's really hard. We dont have a LI office either

If you have a note and they don't let you work from home; can you threaten with a lawsuit? I know I am grasping at straws here and I'm not a lawyer. My thoughts are they would rather have you work from home then have a lawsuit.

I think that if I couldnt work at the office, I would be out on disability and just not working at all. I work for a law firm and I really need to be there - it's hands on and I work for the senior managing partner, so I'd just be out of the office and not working. I dont think they'd be worried about a law suit because they know the law very well and wouldnt put themselves in a position like that, you know?

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Posted by dandr10199

Posted by MrsJ

Posted by dandr10199

Posted by MrsJ

No, I have to physically be in the office, so it's really hard. We dont have a LI office either

If you have a note and they don't let you work from home; can you threaten with a lawsuit? I know I am grasping at straws here and I'm not a lawyer. My thoughts are they would rather have you work from home then have a lawsuit.

I think that if I couldnt work at the office, I would be out on disability and just not working at all. I work for a law firm and I really need to be there - it's hands on and I work for the senior managing partner, so I'd just be out of the office and not working. I dont think they'd be worried about a law suit because they know the law very well and wouldnt put themselves in a position like that, you know?

Like I said grasping at straws....

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Speak with your doctor and explain to him what you just told us and mention that a reduced schedule may help you in the situation your in. Speak with your boss and maybe that can accommodate you.

Does your company offer Intermittent FMLA?

For intermittent leave or leave on a reduced leave schedule, there
must be a medical need for leave (as distinguished from voluntary
treatments and procedures) and it must be that such medical need can be
best accommodated through an intermittent or reduced leave schedule. The
treatment regimen and other information described in the certification
of a serious health condition (see Sec. 825.306) meets the requirement
for certification of the medical necessity of intermittent leave or
leave on a reduced leave schedule. Employees needing intermittent FMLA
leave or leave on a reduced leave schedule must attempt to schedule
their leave so as not to disrupt the employer's operations. In addition,
an employer may assign an employee to an alternative position with
equivalent pay and benefits that better accommodates the employee's
intermittent or reduced leave schedule.

Message edited 1/24/2006 11:44:40 AM.

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Oh Kathy-
I'm so sorry about this... I can't imagine what the commute must be like for you being preggo.

Absolutely talk to the doctor you are seeing tonight about this and tell him everything you wrote.

I also totally understand that there are some jobs where you just can't work from home.

One option for the office is to cut back your work hours as a pg co-worker of mine did who commuted from N. Westchester.
Come in at 10 and leave at 4. That should eliviate the "rush" of 9 and 5 and make it a bit more bearable- where you can take your time and be on emptier trains. I can't see them saying no to that- considering that your other option would be not coming in at all.

Sending to you!!!!

Message edited 1/24/2006 11:52:23 AM.

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Talk to your DR. tell him exactly what you just said.... spice it up a bit, and through in some tears...

My Dr hated seeing a stressed out mom to be!!!!!!

Maybe he could put you out a little early...(but it will cut into your pay for maternity...most likely)

He could also suggest a lighter load for you, but I *think it still up to your boss whether or not they have to give it to you...

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Definitely talk to your doctor about this and see about getting a note. Maybe you can go down to part time or go out on disability. You can't put yourself through this for the sake of a paycheck. It isn't healthy for you or your little baby girl.

As I said previously, I will search my connections and see what is available around here for you.

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

If you plan on returning to work after the baby, look into what your disability plan is. A friend of mine had to go out 2 months early due to medical complications (pre-eclampsia, extrememly high blood pressure, etc) and the 8 weeks were taken as part of FMLA, so she only got 4 weeks after the baby was born. Since she had a section in addition to her other medical issues, her doctor wouldn't let her return to work until 3 months after the baby was born, so she had to resign, pay COBRA for 2 months, then reapply for her job (her manager kept it open for her) and she started all over in terms of seniority, vacation, etc. It really added a lot of stress to the situation.

But if you are planning on looking for a new job or being a SAHM, that won't affect you.

Good luck, and I hope the cramping goes away soon!

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Awww, I know exactly how you feel, it takes me 1 and half hours to get to work, i have lots of stairs and lots of walking and No one ever offers a seat on the subway. They always pretend that they didnt see the pregnant lady. I told my doctor that i was very tired lately and very stressed from the traveling and always being shoved and pushed on the subway platforms. And that i stand on the subway for over an hour everyday with backpain and some cramping. She said its not good if im stressed because then the babies heart rate goes up, so she asked if i wanted to leave work completely or just cut back. So i said cut back. She gave me a note and now im only working 2 days a week. But i am soooooooooooooo less stressed. Good Luck!!!!

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

I give you a lot of credit for trekking back and forth everyday. I sometimes can barely get through my daily routine at 33 weeks and I am a fulltime housewife.

I think what you told us is what you ought to tell you DR. They can be of help with this situation as I am sure they have other ladies who have gone through this as well. Best of luck to you

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Definitely tell your doctor exactly what you wrote here and I am sure they will be able to fill out any paperwork you will need for work to either work less hours or take you out of work all togther, the only problem is that it will probably cut into what you receive through FMLA. But, it's best that you take care of yourself now.
Good luck

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Thanks girls, I'm going to talk to my dr tonight, I'll let you know what happens. I would love to go down to only a few days, at least it would be less commuting. We'll see.

I'm 25 1/2 weeks...I know it doesnt seem like a lot...but I just started my 7th month...and it's a lot for me. According to my doctor's calendar I just started my 3rd trimester.

Maybe they will have sympathy for me.
I'm already stressing about tomorrow's commute

Thank you all for the advice!

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Any way to drive to work? It sould probably be a lot more relaxing and easier on your body. What about going in really early like leaving your house at 6 and leaving work at 3?Your boss has to work with you. If you don't mind my asking is your position admin? If so there are so many great jobs for legal assistants/paralegals. I work with real estate attorneys I could probably get you an interview at least. Also if you are a paralegal-there are paralegal services that are hired to do intermittent work for attorneys. FM me if I can help. Good Luck

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

A lot of people I know go out on pregnancy carpel tunnel

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

I agree with trying to go in later and leave a bit earlier. This might alleviate some of the stress of communting for you. I would also be rude enough to ask an "apparently able-bodied person" if I could sit down. If they say no, I would just say loudly "You won't let a pregnant lady sit??? What kind of person raised you???" Even if they don't get up, somebody else might, and if not, at least they'll be embarrassed.

Also, when you talk to the doctor, definately act like you are at your wits end (which it sounds like you are), and turn on the water works if needed.

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

How did it go??? Hope you were able to come to some sort of a conclusion.. at least from your doc's perspective!! Good Luck!

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...

Well I'm back from the doctor. Everything is good with the baby

I told the doctor all about my commute, back pain, headaches, etc. etc. I told her it's really been the last couple of weeks that it's just getting unbearable.

She was great, she told me first off that they usualy tell their city commuters to get out of work at 34 weeks instead of 36 weeks so that gave me some hope.

She also said that I need to talk to my supervisor and boss and tell them that I need to drop a couple of days of work. She said if I needed anything more from them (like a doctor's note or anything to get out of work), to let them know. All my complaints and everything are all charted now...including the fact that I'm going to the chiro 3x a week for back pain (I have a bad back from 2 nasty car accidents).

Anyway...I have some hope now that I will be able to do something about my schedule and work. Now, I just have to approach my supervisor and then my boss...ugh.

Thank you ALL very much for the advice and support, I feel better already

ETA: I only gained 3 lbs in the last month!! SOOO relieved about that too!!

Message edited 1/24/2006 7:54:16 PM.

Re: Playing hookie from work today - and what do I say to my doctor tonight? Need some advice...