Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

My friend just sent me the Anna Quindlen. I saw JillyBean66 already posted it, but wanted to bump it for you all. Than I realized that I've had a ton of emails, read essays etc on parenting that were some of my favorites...Erma Bombeck, a few from craigslist, an email from my MIL. So here are my contributions...

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

From the Best of Craigslist

I love you
--------------------------
Hope y'all don't mind me posting this here, just have to get it out.

You know, most of us have gotten those emails of do what you need to do today, in case there is no tomorrow. But, what gets me more than that is just thinking of when will be the last time? When will be the last time I GET to change a diaper? When will be the last time she sleeps in the middle? When will be the last time she wants to "cuddle"? When will be the last time 'Daddy get's a hug'? When will be the last time I toss her in the air? When will be the last time she falls asleep on my chest? When will be the last time she says "mah-mah" or "dah-dah"? When will be the last we GET to give her a bath? When will be the last time she cries just because we want to put her down? When will be the last time I can brush the hair from her face without her pushing my hand away? When will be the last time I get to see that expression from a funky food I gave her? When will be the last time I GET to buckle her in her car seat. When will be the last time I GET to carry her?

You know, many of these things I take for granted right now, and I shouldn't. As stated above, many of us get the 'no tomorrow' emails, but do we ever just think of when things just 'stop' happening? At some point as children, we made an unconscious to stop giving our parents a kiss good night. At some point we decided to not say I love you (as much). At some point we began feeding ourselves. At some point we decided our bed was much more roomy and comfortable by ourselves. Did we think about it? No. Did our parents think about it? Probably not. It just happens. No one knows when, or (usually) why, it just does, we just stop.

Well, I'm going to try and do my best to enjoy these moments while I have them. And notice I stressed the GET's above, because while they seem like chores now, someday we WILL miss GETTING to do these things.

So, I'm about to leave work and go home where I will GET to walk my dog down three flights of stairs with my baby girl in my arms, allowing me to kiss her cheeck and tell her I love her.

Chloe, you will more than likely never see this message, but I love you more than anything God ever put on this earth and I hope I am able to express that to you properly.

I love you,
Dad

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

On Being Mom" by Anna Quindlen (er parent ej)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If not for the photographs, I might have a hard time believing they
ever existed. The pensive infant with the swipe of dark bangs and the
blackbutton eyes of a Raggedy Andy doll. The placid baby with the
yellow ringlets and the high piping voice. The sturdy toddler with the
lower lip that curled into an apostrophe above her chin. ALL MY BABIES
are gone now.

I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction
in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one
closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have
learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of
them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke
and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to
keep their doors closed more than I like.

Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move
food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I
bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is
buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the
unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now.
Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling
rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education,
all grown obsolete.

Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are
battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the
pages dust would rise like memories.

What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the
playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations --what they
taught me was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then
becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it
is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to
positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice
and a timeout. One boy is toilet trained at 3, his brother at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on
his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit- up. By the time
my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of
research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this
ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing.

Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research
will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful
books on child development, in which he describes three different
sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a
sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not walk. Was there
something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong
with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged?

Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college.
He can talk just fine. He can walk,too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes
were made. They have all been enshrined in the Remember- When-Mom-Did
Hall of Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language,
mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I
arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp.

The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, What did you get wrong? (She insisted I
include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through
speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons
for the first two seasons.

What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while
doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly
clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a
hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and
what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought
someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now
I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they
demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be.

The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and
I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the books never told me.

I was bound and determined to learn from the experts.

It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Having a Baby
We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family".

"We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it,” I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . .that of being a Mother.

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

If I Had My Life To Live Over
by Erma Bombeck


If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Quotes:
"A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race." ~ Barbara Christine Seifert

"Making the decision to have a child--It's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~ Elizabeth Stone

"Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories." ~ John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

"I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you." ~ Gallagher

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~ Milton Berl

"A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare." ~ Ed Asner

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~ Franklin P. Jones

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

OK, I am not even past the 2nd post (the letter from the dad) and I am sitting here crying! You should have had a disclaimer that no preggos are allowed to read these

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Do you happen to know where the Anna Quindlen essay was published?

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Thanks for the excellent research skills, I'm going to pick that book up. I love her style.

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Ok pay back time...post yours

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

This isn't just about parenting, but I still think it fits:

“To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch… to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!” – Emerson

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby - that Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct - that Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ......
- that Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good" - that Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices - that Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother - that Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first - that Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ........ that Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery - that Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back - that Somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married... that Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home - that Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her - that Somebody isn't a mother.

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

This is one of the winning Day in the Lift of a Mom essays at babyzone.com

Something I Never Thought I'd be Able to Say By: Heather99
Motherhood for me began differently than most. Mine began in a small courtroom in Rostov-on-Don, Russia on August 25, 2000.

On this day I became a mom to Nicholas Robert Dmitri. And in this tiny courtroom is where my first tears, my first fears and my first laughs as a mother were had.

My husband and I were very nervous. We were finally becoming parents; this was something we had struggled for so long to achieve, and suddenly a family was about to happen.

Here we sat in a tiny courtroom, with only our interpreter that spoke English. Our hands were sweating, our stomachs were in knots. Our interpreter told us to not cry during the proceedings, that the women in the courtroom were very emotional, but as I looked around at these stone faced women, I couldn't see an ounce of emotion in them. Of course I cried through the whole proceeding anyhow.

Needless to say, when the judge returned from a recess to render her decision and she read, "on this day, August 25, 2000 I am pleased to finalize the adoption of Dmitri Ivanenco. His birth certificate will be changed to read Heather Lynn as his mother, and Donald Reginald as his father; and from this day forward he will be known as Nicholas Robert Dmitri." I cried even harder.

I stood there shaking, holding my husbands hand and bawling, the happiest day of my life had just taken place -- I was finally a mom. After the judge read her final decision, everyone got up and hugged and congratulated us, and the orphanage director came over to us and said something in Russian with tears streaming down her face. Our interpreter said, "Claudia has asked me to tell you that you may visit your son today, and everyday for the next ten days for two hours a day, but only if you quit crying." And with that everyone laughed and cried.

Ten days after we officially became Nicholas's parents, we walked out of the orphanage with him. He was 13 1/2 months old, and until then had never spent a day outside.

Everyday is special for him and for me. Everyday he explores something new or foreign to him. Everyday something funny is done or said. Everyday being his mother is a joy to me.

This mother's day will be my first. It is something I have waited a long time to celebrate. It will be special because everyday I am reminded what a miracle my son is, what a miracle being a mother is, and what a miracle adoption is.

This may not be a memory of my funniest moment of being a mother, but it is my fondest memory of becoming a mother.

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

I love this one....

IF A CHILD....

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

--Author Unknown

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

This is from a scrapbook page I did (I didn't write it). It made me cry!

It is the morning
of your life and
all of your dreams
are just beginning

May you grow up knowing
how very much you are loved

And may you be
surrounded by
gracious hearts and
people who care.

Welcome to the world, little one
it's been waiting for you.

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Bumping for groovypeg & HannahsDaddy. This is the craigslist posting I told you about

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

I love the "Having a Baby" one. I read it to my 18 year old SIL when she was here because it perfectly expresses my feelings.

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

~ Call Her Mommy ~




Once upon a time there was a child
ready to be born.
One day he asked God:
They tell me you are sending me to
earth tomorrow, how am I going to live
there being so small and helpless?

GOD replied, Among the many angels,
I chose one for you.
She will be waiting for you and will take
care of you.





But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do
anything else but sing and smile, that's
enough for me to be happy.
Your angel will sing for you and will
also smile for you every day.
And you will feel your angel's love
and be happy.

And how am I going to be able to
understand when people talk to me,
if I don't know the language that men
talk?




Your angel will tell you the most
beautiful and sweet words you will
ever hear, and with much patience and
care, your angel will teach you how
to speak.

And what am I going to do when I want
to talk to you?
Your angel will place your hands together
and will teach you how to pray.





I've heard that on earth there are bad
men. Who will protect me?
Your angel will defend you even
if it means risking its life.

But I will always be sad because I
will not see you anymore.
Your angel will always talk to you
about me and will teach you the way for
you to come back to me,even though I
will always be next to you.





At that moment there was much peace
in Heaven, but voices from earth could
already be heard.
And the child in a hurry asked softly:
Oh God, if I am about to leave now,
please tell me my angel's name.
Your angel's name is of no importance,
you will call your angel: MOMMY

~author unknown~

Re: Your Favorite Parenting quotes/essays

Bump for cloddy