I need advice ( long...sorry)

I know this is gonna be long, Im sorry. ITs a WEIRD situation.

First off I have been home on disability. I have severe carpal tunnel in both hands/arms and some back disc issues. I have been feeling better and am thinking about going back to work monday if the Dr. OK's it ( been out for 4 weeks now).

Im sooo stressed out about work. I hate it there so much. I have no time to look for something else and I have in the next 7 weeks, 700 IVF appointments, Physical therapy etc coming up, I am thinking I may end up getting fired anyway b/c of all the taking off I will need to do once I get back to work.

NOW..DH and I talked and we decided me going back only P/T might be the solution. I can make the drs visits, can look for a job in the afternoons and I can even go back to school F/T in Jan. If I dont find anything perfect. Plus if I do get PG it would be less stress etc....

Finacially we can make it, but we arent in the best finacially state as you all know to begin with. It would be tight but not impossible.

To me, I feel a HUGE relief even thinking about it. I have been miserable almost 24/7 lately and need to focus on being happy FIRST I think.

Heres the thing...If I go back Part time, I lose my insurance we are both covered under. We can go onto DH's insurance ( its almost the same coverage) but who knows how long that will take, everyone would need to stay RIGHT on top of things(paperwork etc since we are in the middle of the IVF).

SO...the decision I have is DO I ask to go back part time and hope we can get DHS insurance settled before the real nitty gritty of the IVF starts ( in about 2 and 1/2 weeks?) ....

OR should we wait it out another month for the IVF. Get me in there P/T ( or if fired at least we know ) and not take the chance of messing up the insurances in the middle of an IVF cycle..

OR..should I just suck it up. Go back to Work F/T and ask about P/t once the IVF is over with and manage the appnts and such ?


I know its long, Im so sorry, but this is driving me nuts and I need some opinions..PLEASE ..

THanks!!!!!!

Message edited 8/17/2006 7:13:02 PM.

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Truthfully, I would be nervous changing insurances in the middle of an IVF, especially considering your financial situation.

But, it also sounds like you are very unhappy there.

I think I would just stick it out until after the IVF, and then see if you can go P/T, and hopefully you will be pg by then anyway...

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

I agree with Lisa on this.

I would stick it out through the IVF and then take the next steps you need/want to take for the job.

Is there anything you can do to make yourself happier at the job??

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

I would definitely try to stick it out. Do they know whats going on with you(IVF,etc) Maybe you could say to your boss-I am trying to get PG I may have to take time off here and there for a few hours. Then you prevent getting fired hopefully and if you did you could always go on Cobra if DH's insurance didn't kick in right away

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

I agree with the other girls Donna...try to stick it out. Changing ins at this crucial time might be even more stressful for you and you definitely don't need that.

I would ask about going PT once you go back FT.

Hopefully VERY soon...you'll be PG anyway and you'll forget how much you hate your job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

I knew you all would say that...LOL

It truly makes me miserable. I get so depressed , I dont answer my phone, I dont want to do anything because I just hate the 9-5 crap so much. I want to get my butt to school and do something I love so I dont feel this way.

And to be honest, I wanted to wait a month to start the IVF too...but DH doesnt...

I will probably suck it up and ? going p/t come say Novemeber PG or not...but I am still scared of getting fired b.c of all the IVF days Im gonna need ( or lateness really)

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I just need to vent!
tHANKS for listening to my rambling!

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

That's what we're here for!


I truly hope it all works out for you Donna...I have a feeling it will!!!!!!!!!

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

I guess this is my take: I would return to work after labor day..I would use the next week to get a zillion resumes out. I would put A TON of effort into finding a new job.

Carpel Tunnel won't just go away...so you may need surgery for that. And to be honest, pregancy can make it a lot worse. Have you considered having the surgery to correct the problem before getting pregnant?I have had 3 hand/arm surgerie(for more severe issues, carpel tunnel was only a minor part of my problems).

Since finances are an issue and you may have to pay your mom's 401K loan back I would work F/T until I found a new job. Knowing that I had a loan to pay back would cause me to work F/T until it was paid totally off. But I know with IVF that you don't want to be miserable like this so you really have to make the decision that works best for you.
if you want to go to school in January I would honestly get it all in motion now. That would help me get thru a crappy job...knowing that I only had a few more months full-time. You can use this time to move onto DH's insurance. I would never switch insurances in the middle of any major health issues without a really good reason. You don't want to get stuck with a huge bill because your insurance is all messed up with the doctor's office- JMO.

In the end, yes happiness is most important and only you can really know what works best for you.

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

THANKS michele and everyone for the thought out advice. I appreciate it different perspectives so much.

Love you girls!

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Just a thought- can you afford one month of COBRA?

If you go part-time and lose insurance and are scared DH's won't kick in for a few weeks can you pay for one month of COBRA on your old insurance so there are no gaps- that might give you some piece of mind....

You can ask DH to talk to his HR person and get a guarantee about when his plan would start. Your company might even have a policy that if you switch to part time now you still might stay covered through 8/31 and DH's HR person could guarantee that it would start on 9/1.

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

I think I woul dbe really nervous to switch insurance companies at this stage of the game. It may screw things up for you guys. But I also know that you have been really unhappy at your job for a long time and it is so hard when you hate your job. Maybe I would stay put for now until you get all your ducks in a row witht he insurance coverage and IVF. I know when I switched to DH's insurance mid-pregnancy, they told me they had all the same coverage as I had so I switched thinking 'no problem' and it's been a nightmare ever since. I'm kicking myself for switching policies and we get 2-3 bills PER DAY for stuff relating to my OB, my hospital stay and even DDs pediatrician.

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Why are you nervous about the insurance change? It's a change of life, wouldn't coverage under DH be immediate?

Or am I misunderstanding? Oh wait, do you mean like needing to fulfill deductibles and such?

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Donna,

I'd stick it out for now... at the very least until after the IVF.

Talk to the RE office. Tell them that your job is being less than sympathetic and if there is anyway you can have the first appointment (7:15 I think) for blood and sono everyday.

They did that with me because traffic was such an issue from where I live and it was stressing me out... I had to leave my house the same time whether the appt. was 7:15 or 8:45 The nurses just had me come in 7:15 every morning.

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH

Donna,

I'd stick it out for now... at the very least until after the IVF.

Talk to the RE office. Tell them that your job is being less than sympathetic and if there is anyway you can have the first appointment (7:15 I think) for blood and sono everyday.

They did that with me because traffic was such an issue from where I live and it was stressing me out... I had to leave my house the same time whether the appt. was 7:15 or 8:45 The nurses just had me come in 7:15 every morning.

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Angel,
I would stick it out for now..It might work the first time and it will be done.
If u get fired u can go on cobra.
My whole ivf was 28 days from beginning to end. I would look at it as one day at a time then a couple of months.
Go to work and laugh inside thinking--go ahead if u fire me--I get unemployment and cobra..ha
Do not stress at this job--stress will not help u at all.
Think this first time is going to work!

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

I think its a good idea to go PT in october, and I think knowing that this is the plan will take a lot of stress off you. Do you know for sure your job will letyou go PT?

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Re: I need advice ( long...sorry)

Donna, I wish you the best of luck and agree with the girls to wait to go to p/t.

In regards to what Michele said about Carpel Tunnel syndrome- I can tell you she is 100% correct. I am a Dental Hygienist- my arms, wrist and hand is all I use. Never had a problem BEFORE getting PG well I DO NOW. I have severe pg induced CTS and there is NOTHING you can do but wear a splint. I cant tell you how many sleepless nights I have and the pain and burning sensation I have too.
There is NO question your CTS will get aggravated from the PG.
My fear is will I be able to hold my baby? right now as I type my hands are numb!
Get done NOW all that you need to before getting PG.