Dear Co-workers,

I know we work for a very large company and we all work in cubicles and you have to practically sleep with the CEO to get an office, so there's not much in the way of privacy, but can you please keep your sexual and/or medical problems to yourself. Also, if you find something funny can you try to refrain from laughing to loud that people on the other end of my BUSINESS calls aren't asking me what's going on in my office. Also, if I sneeze, is it too much to ask to say "God Bless You?" Is it really that time consuming? Were you raised by wolves?

Also, lease refrain from bringing in foul smelling food for your breakfast and/or lunch. If you must eat it, there is a fine cafeteria downstairs with plenty of open air so that your pungent food doesn't disrupt breathing patterns.

Thank you for your attention.

Re: Dear Co-workers,

oop sorry

J/K