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no flaming please - need advice-bf related

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MrsR
My love.

Member since 5/05

6247 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

no flaming please - need advice-bf related

My original plan from the get go was to breastfeed Talia for three months - then wean her to formula. Now that she is two months old I am figuring out how to wean her slowly so I don't get too engorged, etc...

I can't help feeling guilt about weaning her. When I feel that way I say to myself - so don't stop, you don't have to...but when I think about continuing that also makes me sad.

I have to admit although I really enjoy the bonding with the baby - and the convenience of breastfeeding, I am so sick of the sore nipples, wearing a bra 24/7, the leaking, the engorgement, the pumping, etc...I am really ready to have my body back.

Please no flaming - I know there are a lot of you that think BF'ing for only three months is terrible - I am not looking for opinions on that - I am trying to understand how you knew when it was right to wean your baby - how you felt about it - etc...

ps...I do have a lot of frozen milk so I could feed her for another month or so with breastmilk at least once a day.

Posted 11/15/05 10:24 AM
 
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Jenhos
Maeve

Member since 6/05

3273 total posts

Name:

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I don't have any advice since I didn't BF but there is NOYHING wrong with you being ready for your body back. There is no bible that says you have to breastfeed for a certain amount of time. And it really isn't anyones business!

Good Luck

Posted 11/15/05 10:39 AM
 

-Laurie-
Hi!

Member since 5/05

2536 total posts

Name:

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I could only due it without formula for 8 weeks and then I dried up.
3 months is alot longer then most people.
You do what is best for you, you have already gave her a great start :)

Posted 11/15/05 10:43 AM
 

JennChris
life moves fast

Member since 5/05

4225 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

It's totally whatever you feel is best... my daughter self weaned at 9 1/2 months, my son I weaned at 11 months.... Have you tried giving her formula now? My daughter won't take formula now, which is a problem now because I never introduced it to her sooner....
I also just want to say though that the engorgement and leaking etc gets much better later on so don't let that be the reason to stop Chat Icon

Posted 11/15/05 10:44 AM
 

MrsR
My love.

Member since 5/05

6247 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

Yes, she does have a bottle of formula every day - so I know she will take it when I am ready.

When does the engorgement get better? I think I have a rediculous milk supply...I wake up with a soaking wet bra every morning even though I pump at night.

Posted 11/15/05 10:48 AM
 

emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!

Member since 5/05

4457 total posts

Name:
Mama

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

i think it is whatever meets your needs, i'm a huge breastfeeding advocate, but i also know it is hard work, so i can understand you wanting to wean her. Don't feel bad, you BF for 3 months, she got the most important benefits from your breastmilk.

p.s- most of us were not breastfed and I think we turned out pretty good!!Chat Icon

Posted 11/15/05 10:54 AM
 

rose825
Best Friends

Member since 6/05

10228 total posts

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Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

for me I decided to stop when I felt that continuing would just make me resentful and defeat the purpose of why I was doing it.

Posted 11/15/05 10:57 AM
 

Bran-loves-Tom
Dad you finally did it!!!

Member since 10/05

1714 total posts

Name:
Brandy

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I think that you have given her a great gift and start to life already!!! You have done great by her!!! If you want to wean it is your choice!!! Wanting your body back is not a bad thing!!! You are a wonderful mom!!!! Be good to yourself!!!Chat Icon

Posted 11/15/05 10:59 AM
 

ddunne2
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

4189 total posts

Name:
Doreen

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

Don't even give a thought to what others think..you do what is best for you in your situation. No one can judge becasue no one has your exact situation, so no guilt. You did great doing it for three months!!!

Posted 11/15/05 11:02 AM
 

aja
my princess

Member since 10/05

2936 total posts

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Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I planned to bf for four months. Every night esp during the colic times I would say this it it I can't do it anymore. I hated pumping, I was always engorged and leaked everywhere. I did not fell comfortable bf in public so I was secluded whenever we went places. At about six weeks I came down with a throat infection and was put on antibiotics. They told me to pump and dump. I did it for 2 days and I couldn't do it anymore. I decided to stop. I pumped every other feeding for 1 day. Then twice the 2nd day and once the last day. I took tylenol every 8 hours and took a warm bath when it hurt too much. Finally it stopped. I didn't really check because I felt guilty.

I felt terrible especially when I would hold him and feed him with the bottle. He would turn towards my breast area and I wanted to cry. Then I felt horrible because that news story about the twins passing away after eating formula had just come out. Then I panicked that I would be out with the baby without food and I would not be able to feed him because I choose to stop. I had nightmares of the babies in New Orleans starving without food and that would happen to NY and I would be dried up! It's been about 4 weeks and the guilt has subsided. We still bond everytime I hold him. He still looks into my eyes when I feed him. He is just happy to eat!

I grew up on formula and I think I am ok.Chat Icon

He weened pretty easily. He never had nipple confusion because he $uck anything I put in his mouth even the vitamin applicator! Good luck and it is not the end of the world. We do what we can and some is better than none.

Posted 11/15/05 11:03 AM
 

Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!

Member since 5/05

12165 total posts

Name:

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm going back to work in 3 weeks and I planned to already be done with the breastfeeding, but I can't bring myself to give her more than 2 bottles of formula a day. I do really like the BF, but I'm also looking forward to stopping. The torn feelings are crazy aren't they?

When I stop completely, I feel like she's going to "know" and be upset with me!

Good luck and let's keep each other posted on how it's going. I'm introducing the 3rd bottle today!

Posted 11/15/05 11:08 AM
 

curley999
Family!

Member since 5/05

2314 total posts

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Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I think any amount of time you BF is better then none at all. You should do whats best for the both you, she has gotten so much benifit from it already.

I am EBF Claire for 11 months now, and am a big advocate for BF but it is not easy and more difficult for some then others. From my experience things got 'easier' around 4 months, when my supply leveled off to the correct amount and we had a good routine set. Good Luck and dont feel guilty you have to do whats best for you and your baby! Chat Icon

Posted 11/15/05 11:11 AM
 

paulandles912
My children are a blessing!

Member since 5/05

2598 total posts

Name:
Leslie

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I don't think you should be hard on yourself. You've done a great thing BFing for this time already. You have to do what you're comfortable with.

I BF for 9 weeks and then stopped. It's not for everyone and for my colicky baby, formula made a huge positive difference for him.

Be proud of yourself for being a great mom!

Posted 11/15/05 11:18 AM
 

05mommy09
Family of 5!

Member since 5/05

15364 total posts

Name:
<3 Mommy <3

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I planned to do it for the 3-6 months or maybe even longer... However I only made it through the first 4 weeks...

I wasnt taught how to do it, so I tried to wing it, then I started pumping with what I later found out was the wrong kinda pump... I started calling Le Leche, then a lacatation consultant...and slowly my milk started drying up...then one day I went to pump a bottle..and there was nothing but blood... That was the day I decided to stop....

I felt so guilty and then when he had gas issues from the formula I felt even worse... I felt guilty for awhile....

After I was completly dried up, and back to my reg self I enjoyed him even more... My boobs and nipples didnt hurt, I was glued to the couch pumping and feeding, and so on... However it always made me feel better that @ least he was BF for the 1st month... thats still more than a baby who wasnt BF @ all...

I totally intend on BFing my next child (which is many many moons away) but learning alot more about it, so it wont hurt as much, and my milk wont dry up...and so on...

You have to do whats right for you...your baby is only gonna be as happy as you are!!! 3 months is alot...dont be so hard on yourself!!!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/15/05 11:20 AM
 

KPtoys
I'm getting old

Member since 5/05

8688 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

Posted by Bran-loves-Tom

I think that you have given her a great gift and start to life already!!! You have done great by her!!! If you want to wean it is your choice!!! Wanting your body back is not a bad thing!!! You are a wonderful mom!!!! Be good to yourself!!!Chat Icon




I couldnt agree more!

Posted 11/15/05 11:24 AM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

Since I don't have a great milk supply I know this wouldn't work for me but since BFing is all supply and demand would you be able to do say a morning and a bedtime feeding so that you still feel that bonding time with her but aren't tied to breastfeeding all the time? I know my friends did this as their children were weaning themselves when they were older. It was like their bodies just made enough milk for those feedings.

A BFing expert might now better if this would work for you or not but maybe it could be a happy medium between the two.

Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/15/05 12:00 PM
 

mommy2Alex
3 babies for me :)

Member since 5/05

6683 total posts

Name:

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

Posted by MrsR


ps...I do have a lot of frozen milk so I could feed her for another month or so with breastmilk at least once a day.




I breastfeed for 3 months. My plan was to do it for the 1st 6mnths. I was at the point where I just couldn't do it anymore either. It is a lot of work and very time consuming, between pumping and feedings. I am a believer that if you do it even for a week your child benefits. If you are ready to stop, then stop. I also had a hard time quitting. Everytime I would say that's it I am not doing it. Everyone would Chat Icon at me because 2 hours later I would be pumping again. Then one day at the pump, I said that's it. I stopped right there and never touched the pump again. I too had about a months worth of milk in the freezer. I felt I did great by lasting 3 months. Others may disagree.

Posted 11/15/05 12:12 PM
 

Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!

Member since 7/05

15652 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I honestly planned on breast feeding for at least the first 6-9 months if not longer. Me and my sisters were all breastfed until we were toddlers. My mom is EXTREMELY pro-bfing, she's a lll leader.

But it just didn't work for Emily and I. Because of her problems in the hospital and maybe I wasn't persistant enough, I never got her to latch on properly. I called a lll leader and had my mom help also, but she'd get so frustrated and give in and give her a bottle. I pumped for the first month, but even that got really hard. i felt like every time i fed her i had to rush her to sleep or put her in her bouncy seat even when she just wanted to be held and cuddle so that i could pump for the next feeding. it was crazy and was just too much.

i haven't pumped in about 2 weeks now and i feel bad that she only recieved my milk for a month but i also feel less stressed and like i'm able to spend more time playing with her and interacting iwth her. i know it's healthy and you bond from it but i do feel like i made the right decision for us.

maybe with my next baby bf'ing will work but i'm not upset with my decision to just switch over to formula exclusively now. my mom is upset but it was my decision. whatever decision you make will be the right one and you've already done so much for talia by bfing her so long.

Posted 11/15/05 12:46 PM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I think you need to do what works best for you. I will say that I pumped for 1 full year (Molly didn't latch) so if anyone needs pumping advise I can help.

When weaning from pumping you need to cut out pumps slowly. I started to pump only 20 minutes instead of 30 minutes each time. Then I finally cut out a mid-afternoon pump. And after about 2 weeks I was down to pumping 2x instead of 5-6 x per day. The morning was the hardest pump to give up so I did that one last. I just pumped to comfort, not to produce more milk. I did NOT waste any pumped milk though. So keep using what you are making while weaning.

Posted 11/15/05 1:05 PM
 

MrsR
My love.

Member since 5/05

6247 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

I REALLY want to thank everyone for sharing your experiences and for your support. I started tearing up when I read all of your responses.

I think I realize I have to be 100% sure before I start weaning - and right now I am not 100% sure I want to stop. It's ironic because in the beggining I couldn't wait to stop - I hated it more than anything.

I still have another month before she is 3 months - so maybe things will be clearer by then. Chat Icon to everyone - seriously thank you so much!

Posted 11/15/05 1:35 PM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: no flaming please - need advice-bf related

Just so you know even after 1 year of pumping I felt BAD about stopping. It is always hard to transition to a new phase in your baby's life.
Let us know if you need more help.

Posted 11/15/05 2:34 PM
 
 

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