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Would you have had second thoughts about marriage if DW/DH asked for a pre-nup?

Forum Opinion Poll
Yes 49 48.04%
No 49 48.04%
Other, explain. 4 3.92%
 

Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Posted By Message

baghag
:P

Member since 5/05

10278 total posts

Name:

Un-romantic pre-nup poll

If you DH/DW asked for a pre-nup before you got married, would it have given you second thoughts about getting married? (This is assuming DH/DW is not protecting a family business or home.)

Posted 2/14/06 5:32 PM
 

Mrs-Boop
My Babies

Member since 5/05

4956 total posts

Name:
Jaime

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Honestly, if he had money before we got married, I wouldn't have had a problem signing it, probably would have suggested it myself. I don't want whats not mine!!

Posted 2/14/06 5:33 PM
 

Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!

Member since 5/05

20046 total posts

Name:
Gerty ®

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

If we were financial equals I would think it strange that he would want a pre-nup. If you go in as equals then it's an equal partnership and there should be no reason for a pre-nup.
If, however, one person has a lot of money or stands to recieve a lot of money in inheritance, I can totally understand it. Even though you get married for all the right reasons, you never know what can happen. Having been divorced once and knowing how badly someone can react, I would be against signing a pre-nup if my fiance was way better off financially than I was.

Posted 2/14/06 5:35 PM
 

BaroqueMama
Chase is one!

Member since 5/05

27530 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

I would sign one. Whatever. We have nothing. And if he had something, hell, I planned on staying married forever, so it wouldn't matter.

Posted 2/14/06 5:38 PM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

We talked about this at work, the have a lots and the havenots.

It does make perfect sense, I think I would be put off by it and the day it was signed, but I still would marry.

The thing that I found weird was that the have a lots said that it causes a line to be drawn. Husband is a millionaire, kids will be millionaires, wife only is as long as marriage lasts(ie he doesn't fall for another, marriage doesn't go stale.)

So her husband and kids are part of the millionaire club, where she is sort of dangling...

I have no money, neither does DH, so I have no idea if this theory is true, just water cooler talk one day.

Posted 2/14/06 5:41 PM
 

MrsS2005
Mom of 3

Member since 11/05

13118 total posts

Name:
B

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

If DH really wanted a prenup, I would've signed it. I don't think either of us had anything worth protecting so it would've been strange for me to have a prenup. I think it's practical considering the divorce rate is so high. No one knows what the future will hold.

Posted 2/14/06 5:52 PM
 

baghag
:P

Member since 5/05

10278 total posts

Name:

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Bump for the morning crew. Chat Icon

Posted 2/15/06 9:52 AM
 

skew
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

6794 total posts

Name:

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

i would have no issues w/ it

Posted 2/15/06 9:54 AM
 

MsG
Should be working

Member since 5/05

2824 total posts

Name:
G

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

I would initially have had 2nd thoughts but after speaking with a friend who had one I can see the benefits. It's actually a very fair thing to do, and in the end I would have signed.

Posted 2/15/06 9:54 AM
 

IrishTracy
Believe!!

Member since 5/05

15167 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Posted 2/15/06 9:54 AM
 

LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here

Member since 5/05

12023 total posts

Name:
Sonia

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Like another poster said previously if the money was made pre-us then I would not care. But if I helped him get on his feet then I would not sign a pre-nup.

Posted 2/15/06 9:59 AM
 

Beth
The Key to your new home....

Member since 2/06

24849 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

I would have been upset- b/c even though we weren't married at the time- i am the one who encourged him to open his own business

but he doesn't believe in them

Posted 2/15/06 10:00 AM
 

Shanti
True love

Member since 6/05

12653 total posts

Name:

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

I would be upset because I entered our marriage with the belief that it is forever, through good times and bad. A pre-nup would feel like we weren't going in with those intentions.

Posted 2/15/06 10:18 AM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Posted by DMcK

I would be upset because I entered our marriage with the belief that it is forever, through good times and bad. A pre-nup would feel like we weren't going in with those intentions.



This is how I feel about it too.

Posted 2/15/06 11:45 AM
 

luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses

Member since 5/05

8135 total posts

Name:
Kim

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Posted by dpli

Posted by DMcK

I would be upset because I entered our marriage with the belief that it is forever, through good times and bad. A pre-nup would feel like we weren't going in with those intentions.



This is how I feel about it too.



Ditto. Although DH suggested we get one...because he had nothing and I had the house/money/cars all in my name and he wanted me to get one so I could protect myself. He wanted to prove that he didn't want anything from me Chat Icon

Posted 2/15/06 12:02 PM
 

MrsA
.............................

Member since 1/06

2012 total posts

Name:

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Posted by DMcK

I would be upset because I entered our marriage with the belief that it is forever, through good times and bad. A pre-nup would feel like we weren't going in with those intentions.



Ditto, to me signing a pre-nup means you're going into the marriage already considering that it wont be forever and you want to make sure you protect yourself, in that case I think its better just not to get married.

Posted 2/15/06 12:08 PM
 

andri
LIF Infant

Member since 11/05

241 total posts

Name:

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Posted by DMcK

I would be upset because I entered our marriage with the belief that it is forever, through good times and bad. A pre-nup would feel like we weren't going in with those intentions.



True,but if you have it & never use it..then it was just a piece of paper..if you have it & unfortunetly need it one day- then Thank God you had it.
I look at it as insurance on your engagement/wedding ring..
you take care of it,
always look at it,
are aware of it ...
but if one day,somehow you were to lose it,you have your insurance policy. Maybe its years down the line but "just in case" you're protected.

I have one,I fall under a grey catagory..I am an executive in a large CO owned by my family. God forbid something would happen between my DH & I ..it would effect my parents,also my sister & her family(visa versa if my sis & BIL had troubles). Not fair.
As per our lawyers,it doesn't matter if the Co was started way before your (my) marriage..its the GROWTH of the Co,during your marriage thats equitable. Plus we both owned homes prior,so its the increase of value on the home,once again- thats equitable.

Its not for everyone being so tied together,we probably wouldn't have gotten it. I was married once before & I can say from experience,the person you think you know- can turn into a monster because of Chat Icon $ Chat Icon .

Posted 2/15/06 12:11 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

If I asked, I would question the motives behind asking. I probably wouldn't hesitate to sign but would hestiate to marry depending on the answer.

It's not just a matter of protecting assets for divorce. Depending on the state, the courts and the decree, if your spouse was previously married and has children, his ex can reevaluate his household income based on your contribution to the household. I'm not saying the idea is to help him get out of paying for his obligations or responsiblities. I just would feel resentful if his child support was going up because he married me.

Posted 2/15/06 12:18 PM
 

FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic

Member since 6/05

10212 total posts

Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

We talked about if before the wedding (in the context of talking about EVERYTHING!). Since neither of us had anything we found it to not be worth the time or effort! Chat Icon Chat Icon
DH is now in a family situation though where his parent might need to sign everything over to him because his father is sick (kind of a long story). I'm not really sure how THEY feel about it though. Don't get me wrong, they love me and certainly don't think anything negative about DH and I. Also, we are not really talking about a lot of $$ here. I think it is the principle of it all.
I am torn over it all.

Posted 2/15/06 12:34 PM
 

saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!

Member since 5/05

16555 total posts

Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

its funny, b/c when i met fh we were both working retail and making nothing, so it was never an issue. but now, my fbil's (jokingly) tell me i'm marrying fh for his $$$, he works for the lirr and does ok for himself....

would i be annoyed if he asked? not at him, b/c it would probably be my fmil's idea....

Posted 2/15/06 12:37 PM
 

MrsS2005
Mom of 3

Member since 11/05

13118 total posts

Name:
B

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Posted by MrsA

Posted by DMcK

I would be upset because I entered our marriage with the belief that it is forever, through good times and bad. A pre-nup would feel like we weren't going in with those intentions.



Ditto, to me signing a pre-nup means you're going into the marriage already considering that it wont be forever and you want to make sure you protect yourself, in that case I think its better just not to get married.


I think it's completely realistic to acknowledge that as much as you want your marriage to last forever, this isn't always the case. Of the 50% of marriages that end in divorce, I'm sure most of the couples believed their marriages would last forever. Relationships change, not always for the better. We can't predict what our relationships will be like next year, much less in 20 years. IMO, if you have something worth protecting, it's better to protect yourself and never use it than get $crewed in a divorce. I'm sure there are way more people who regret not having a pre-nup than those who have one even if they're fortunate enough to never need it.

Posted 2/15/06 12:48 PM
 

dottiemchugh
<3

Member since 5/05

8261 total posts

Name:

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Posted by DMcK

I would be upset because I entered our marriage with the belief that it is forever, through good times and bad. A pre-nup would feel like we weren't going in with those intentions.



I agree with this as well. I would have a big problem with it if he asked me.. even though we both had NOTHING at that time and I would have laughed in his face.

Posted 2/15/06 1:14 PM
 

CAJ
woulda, coulda, shoulda

Member since 12/05

3366 total posts

Name:
CJ

Re: Un-romantic pre-nup poll

Posted by DMcK

I would be upset because I entered our marriage with the belief that it is forever, through good times and bad. A pre-nup would feel like we weren't going in with those intentions.



ditto

Posted 2/15/06 1:54 PM
 
 

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